I’ve read through the whole thread a couple of times now, and while there wasn’t a lot here that I didn’t already know, I have to say that I am still baffled. Perhaps it’s because I’ve known since the age of 10 that I didn’t want to have children, have always been terrified of the possibility, and am deeply relieved after my vasectomy last January.
I mentioned “pregnancy ambivalence” in the OP, and I’m glad that somebody mentioned that teenage pregnancy is only a part of the topic. Regarding the teen years, I wasn’t socially adept enough (no, not shy) to get that close to a girl in that time, but I did not necessarily have penis-in-vagina intercourse as my ultimate goal. After all, there were substitutes available, as I knew my peers were availing themselves of them, and seemed happy with that. When, at age 20, I finally became intimate with a woman, we stuck with the substitutes, and that was a wonderful summer. I don’t feel like we missed out on much. Had we more time, I would have presumably combined condoms and withdrawal, like I did (much) later, when I had subsequent encounters.
Why take a needless risk, when there are safer, satisfying, and perhaps superior substitutes available? It’s a bit like gridiron football in comparison to rugby, Australian Rules, Gaelic football, etc.
I see having a child as akin to a life (or perhaps death) sentence. It’s not the kind of thing that lends itself to being taken lightly. It’s extremely serious business. I was aware of the “status symbol” effect of pregnancy and childbirth, but I frankly don’t get it. Besides all the expenses involved (which would seem important if one is of modest means), where’s all the status involved in being a frazzled, stressed-out parent? I would think that a person who’s far more secure, in all senses of the word, would be a lot more impressive and perhaps enjoy that status.