Some people literally crave levels of pain, in a sexual context, that seems unimaginable to me. Not just tolerate or like the idea of–actually viscerally crave the sensation.
How much do we know about this from a more scientific standpoint? Is there any kind of explanation in terms of how their actual pain sensing nerves etc work? Or something in their brain? Or some patterns in childhood experiences? Or something?
This Psychology Today article is very helpful.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-wide-wide-world-psychology/201502/the-surprising-psychology-bdsm
They don’t talk about the physical side of it, but it could be that to some people pain makes them feel “alive”.
Nerve endings are odd ducks. I’ve never had a tattoo, I’ve heard they’re painful but I also know some people also get almost addicted to getting them and they also cause endorphins to be released. I remember when I was going through braces and the Orthodontist wanted to file this one bottom tooth just a little bit so it would be equal with the one next to it, and he had this floss that was rough like sandpaper, to scrape just a little bit of enamel away, and then had some little drill bit like tool to basically sand down the top of the tooth a little bit. I should have been freaking out and I felt this weird sensation, sort of mild pain but with this stimulating pleasure at the same time, I would imagine some BDSM adherents experience something along those lines. But I think a lot of it is also mental for those who enjoy dominating others and also on the submission side, being completely submissive lets you give up all control, feel free its like a stress release, supposedly a lot of high-power CEO’s secretly enjoy stuff like that, they are so dominating in every other aspect of their life, they need that outlet where they give up all control.
Obviously B & D & S & M are each distinct interests. With some overlap in what’s what and some overlap in who likes what. But they’re a lot more separate than they are the same thing. ISTM lumping them together is mostly a comment on what our society frowns on.
Also S & M are a yin/yang pair where it sort of takes one of each to play together. B & D are in a different sort of relation.
B & D are different from each other *and *each comes in two roles: the doer and the do-ee. From my reading most folks who are interested in either B or in D seem to want only one of the do-ee/doer roles; rarely both.
With that background, the OP seems to be asking about M only. I think the referenced article might have been more informative if they’d broken out the categories and the do-ee/doer distinction.
In a non-sexual context, most of us can and do enjoy hot (spicy) food, even though it literally hurts the palate.
Yes, that’s right, I should have specified that in the title to be clear.
As I understand it, it’s not so much about pain as it is that some people enjoy being subservient and feeling dominated or subjugated. It’s the psychological and emotional context that matters.
Few, if any, BDSM masochists would enjoy stubbing their toe or accidentally burning themselves on a hot stove because that would be pointless pain with no purpose, with no human relationship or emotional meaning involved.
I recall reading that in part bondage appears to be an example of emotional reflexes working in reverse, as they often do. Like calming yourself down by* acting *calm, or cheering yourself up by smiling on purpose.
In the same way sex and sexual arousal tends to involve lots of stretching and muscle tension that bondage imposes externally; if a person is in the right mood for it the tension created by the bondage will then create arousal, or amplify whatever’s already there.
Mixing in other related psychological factors like submission fantasies just makes it all more effective, naturally.