I Live in the HOT south. So I can’t manage to quit wearing white. (Besides I do have to wear a white dress shirt occassionally. I do tend to spill more when I wear white. Usually something with tomatoes or a tomato sauce. (It stains so well)
Last week I was wearing a mostly black shirt that has some white in it. I spilled/dripped mustard from a burger…wanna guess where it landed? Of course right in a white stripe!
Why do you store it upside down?
Anyway, back to the OP… I always spill windshield washer fluid. When I fill both reservoirs in my car (I have one in the back, too), I always spill some. The one in the back is the worst. There’s a little piece that pops open on the side of the cargo area, and a part of the reservoir that swings out and opens up. It’s rather awkward, as you’re leaning in the back of the car (it’s a station wagon), trying to fill this little opening. I have NEVER been able to fill it without spilling some.
Ditto.
To answer the OP in a PG-13 sense, my third martini usually has some trouble staying in the glass before it hits my mouth and the fourth martini usually has trouble staying in my hand, especially if I am chatting whilst standing on tile.
Spaghetti sauce. The moment my attention wanders, one of the long noodles will slip off the fork just so and the end of the noodle bullwhips a globule of red sauce directly at my torso. Never fails.
Call it “The Fartkins Diet” and you’ll be rich.
Ditto on the hot chocolate. I know why though; By the time I add the mix and the requisite Baileys, that mug is pretty darn full.
I generally don’t spill much, but there are two substances that really seem to give me trouble.
As any dirt-bike rider knows, you can’t pour pre-mix without getting a little on the tank decals, which promptly make them come off. Thats one.
The other is homebrew. Not while drinking (heaven forbid), but during racking and bottling. The damn racking tube or hose always manages to come free of whatever diabolical restraint device I can rig up and dump a spoonful on the floor. Sticky and smelly. Brings a tear to my eye.
My wife spills mostly everything, but has an almost super-natural ability to dump vast quantities of Dr. Pepper (or analogs). She seems to prefer to dump “Double Gulps” and “Super Gulps” of the stuff from 7-11. Usually in the car.
One day, I see her pull up outside. She opens the door and a mini-Niagra falls of Dr. Pepper, complete with ice spills out onto the ground! Enough for me to clearly see it running from inside the house! :smack: Damn near every car we own has brown-stained seats and floorboards.
I don’t allow her to have any in the BMW.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
I cannot remove the foil seal of a yogurt carton it flicking a little yogurt on me, usually somplace hideously noticeable like my chest. It doesn’t help that I much prefer berry flavors. Fashion Hint: boysenberry is a hideous accent for anything.
I’ve tried removing the foil seals slooooowly, quickly, and even cutting the damned things open. Doesn’t matter. They’ll still spoing somehow anyway and I have little yogurt splotches somewhere.
Veb
This was too humiliating to list in the “Things I suck at” thread.
I am incapable of performing any transaction including expressed breastmilk without spilling some. Not only is it demoralizing to lose after the work of getting it, but I often spill it on the floor…where my dog rushes over to lick it up. That creeps me out somehow. I think I worry that he’ll acquire a taste for it and head for the source! :eek:
Hint: Open the foil seal away from you. Turn the carton so that the protruding lip of the seal is facing away from you and pull the seal off. It’ll still spurt, but you won’t get any on you.
I can always count on getting egg yolk dropped on me. I guess I’ll have to start ordering scrambled eggs from now on.
Background: One of the Assistant Managers, Mark, is a good bloke, a worry wart and a bit of a tool to say the least.
Every morning, we open at 10 am but about four employees and a manager are there by 7- 7:30, one on restaurant, one on front counter and food prep and one on broiler and fries.
When I open up, Mark is sometimes there too. Now, I only open up on Saturday and Sunday, and because we close at 3:30am on Friday and Saturday nights, outside and inside is usually a great big sticky mess because people are too damn tired to mop before they leave. Who can blame them after all. So Mike and Garry/Rhyse/Andrew/who ever else does restaurant go outside to the tap to mop up and do whatever they do. None of the employees turn up in the early hours in their full uniform, usually just the pants. Mark, however, always wears his manager shirt and tag and only ever brings a jacket (usually a natty Nike jacket). He also wears a gold chain.
Event: The tap only bursts when Mark is there. So he and Garry are out there, mopping away and doing whatnot, when this tap bursts. So Mark jumps in and turns it off. Getting completely drenched in the process. Of course, Garry isn’t wearing his uniform and has a change of clothes but Mark is now soaked through the chest and his only other option is this puffy Nike jacket.
Now, he takes off his soaking shirt and puts it out back in the sun. And puts on a jacket, zips it up to about three inches under the little hollow in his throat. His gold chain is clearly visible as is his hairy chest.
My boss now looks like a pimp.
He does this every time too.
Whether I’m getting it from a tray or a bag, this always happens to me. My sister and I call it our “offering to the linoleum gods.” 
Oh, and anything from a Mexican or Italian food restaurant menu–I am ahem well-endowed and cannot keep from spilling my food there–it’s like a catch-all!
Popcorn. I tell you, I could be wearing a turtleneck (which I never do, because I have a short neck and they make me look like Uncle Fester) and popcorn would still manage to wind up in my bra!