A not-uncommon device used in the New Orleans area is for people to call adults of an older generation “Mr./Miss First Name” (it’s always pronounced /miss/, regardless of marital status). A child might learn that a family friend or an especially amicable neighbor is to called “Mr. Freddie” or “Miss Dot”, as opposed to “Mr. Smith” or “Mrs. Johnson”.
This convention is not restricted to children. Adults of all ages commonly address familiar elder adults as “Mr./Miss FirstName”. Accordingly, my in-laws are “Miss Yvonne” and “Mr. Dave”. My wife calls my parents “Miss Ann” and “Mr. Bert”.
Like FaerieBeth , I call my MIL Mme. (Lastname). (French for Mrs. Lastname). After a few years of my being married to her son, she invited my brother to call her by her firstname, and I wedged myself into the invite out of pique. Nevertheless, it never stuck, and she is clearly more comfortable with Mme. (Lastname) moniker, given that was how she addressed her MIL. We have enough other issues without her feeling like I do not treat her with respect, and we see each other maybe twice a year, so to me this is no big deal. Now that we have given her a grandchild, I also call her Grandmaman (grandma in French).
My husband called his in-laws (my parents) Amma (“Mom” in our language) and Mr. (Lastname) before our son was born. Now they are Ammachi and Appachen when speaking of them to our son.
I’ve been married for almost 23 years, and I still don’t know what to call them. I’ve called them Mom & Dad from time to time, but it just doesn’t feel comfortable to call them that, and calling them Joyce & Tony seems a bit disrespectful. So most of the time I don’t call them anything or I call them Grandma and Grandpa like the kids do. My husband calls my parents Mom and Dad.
I call my MIL & FIL mama and baba. It actually made them like me better than my BIL because he has always only called them by their first names. It didn’t hurt that we (my wife and I) had children first despite her sister being married before us. My wife calls my parents mom & dad too.
I call them Mr. and Mrs. (Last name). My husband’s sisters are a decade or more older than he is, and I know that one son-in-law also calls them this, as does the boyfriend of another sister. I forget what the other son-in-law uses. I don’t consider them to be mother/father types to me, though my MIL is closer to that state than my FIL is.
My husband calls my mother “Mom” or “Mom (Last name).” She is pretty much a mother figure to him, and even joked that if I’d decided against marrying him, she’d have adopted him! (My dad died a few years after we started dating, but he called my dad “Mr. (Last name)” during that time.)
My husband’s parents died many years ago. When they were living, my mother-in-law asked me to call her “Mrs. Johnson,” and my father-in-law asked me to call him “Dad.” I was so happy to call this fine man “Dad.”
The fact that my mother-in-law wanted me to address her in such a formal manner was no surprise to me. After all, I was the hussy who stole her baby boy away.
I hope that I can be as welcoming to my own children’s future spouses (as long as they’re not assholes), but they’re not calling me dad. Did I put food on their table? Did I change their diapers? Did I put them through college? No – because I’m not their dad.
I call my MIL and FIL by their first names. They are pretty informal, very nice people, so that feels comfortable. Plus they are only 12 years older than I am. My husband, on the other hand, calls his MIL (my mom) Omi, which is German for grandmother. This makes sense, though, because she is 51 years older than he is.
Yes, he is a little younger than I am.
Until we married and for a while after, I called my in-laws Mr. Boyer and Mrs. Boyer. After about six months or so, I was invited to use their first names. So now I do. I’ve never been invited to call them Mom and Dad, and truthfully I wouldn’t want to anyway – we don’t have that kind of relationship. So first names is fine by me.
My husband doesn't call anyone by their names -- not me, and only the kids if they're about to run in front of a truck or something. So it's not a problem for him. ;)
My hubby’s father died several years ago, but he was Dad to me, just as my MIL is Mom. I’m completely comfortable with that.
It’s funny, though. My parents are divorced and remarried. DH calls both of my stepparents by their first name, but he’s not comfortable calling my parents by their first name. So he addresses them formally as “Mother-in-law” or “Father-in-law.” He has a lot of respect for them, so the odd moniker works.
I need to talk to mine in Cantonese as they speak pratically no English. While courting my wife-to-be, I used the honorifics that exist in the language for this role: “baat-mouh” (for m-i-l) - the other I forget. After marriage, I was told it’s normal to use “Mummy” and “Daddy”, but I find that I usually resort to what my daughter calls them (according to the system that exists for all such relationships): “gung gung” (grandad) and “poh poh” (gran). Incidentally, her first cousins (her brothers’ children) call their grandparents by different names, reflecting that they are scions of the male side of the family.
My mom called my paternal grandparents Mom & Dad as far as I can remember; my dad calls my maternal grandfather Dad and refers to my maternal step-grandmother as Helen. I assume he called my maternal grandfater Mom, but she died years before I was born so I really don’t know for sure.
I’m thinking the difference has to do with how old they were when they met–my parents started dating early in high school, so at the time it would have been awkward to refer to each other’s parents by their given names; on the other hand my step-grandmother came into their lives after they were already grown up themselves so it was more natural to use her given name.
I’ve been trying to avoid calling my boyfriend’s mother anything, but on thinking about it, I really don’t need to. She often uses the nickname “Bear”, referencing her generally mother-bear-like disposition where her son is concerned. So it’s an affectionate nickname referring to her status as a mother - perfect!
My boyfriend calls Qadgop and my mom by their first names.
As for my boyfriend’s father, I haven’t really had to decide yet. It’d probably be “Herman”, “asshole” or “getthehelloutofhere”, though.
First names.
I call Irishfella’s grandparents Mr So-and-so and Mrs So-and-So, and he uses our family pet name for my grandmother (because using her first name is not respectful, and she hates people using her surname, because most people mispronounce it).
I’m happy enough using the first names of peole in my parent’s generation, but not for anyone older, unless specifically asked to do so.
