“The/my ESP” or “the/my Hammet” or “the/my guitar”. It’s a KH-502 Kirk Hammet signature model ESP.
My old Ibanez 320DX… “The piece of shit with the bendy neck.”
I was thinking of naming my guitar Mildred.
iI had a cat named Cat once, too.
tlw- did you hear the one about the violist who dreamed she was in the pit for The Nutcracker
she woke up and she was in the pit for The Nutcracker*
Sorry, couldn’t resist that one. I’ve been thinking about buying a viola myself. I like the sound of the instrument- kind of mellow alto, not so darned sweet as a violin. I think I could probably kick some killer blues licks out of a viola. My last job before I meved to Vegas was in a music store warehouse (couldn’t have afforded Isadore w/out my employee discount) and I used to “play test” some of the instruments before I shipped them. Violas are cool.
My Les Paul is called just that.
My bright orange, 80’s Charvel with the “Don’t be a dick” sticker on the other hand is dubbed The Pointy Guitar of Doom.
Might as well mock it myself before other people do.
milo
We had a distortion pedal once we nicknamed the “Noisemagnet 2000.” Mid-80’s digital distortion. Distortion is the right word. Acres and acres of horrible ugly garbage. Occasionally a note would come through. And sometimes my little amp would get cordless phone conversations. Good times.
The only thing better was the ungrounded ampeg amp. If you left your strings uncut, the guitar head became an electric jellyfish, electrocuting whomever stood too close.
I called my clarinet Christine. (after the evil car in the King book)
My bassoon is named Adelaide. The tenor sax’s nickname is Gonk, but her real name is Nadine. My clarinet is named Oh Why Can’t You Play In Tune, or Pawn Shop for short.
As a non-musician, I really don’t get this. Can someone enlighten me!!?!?! 
I’ve got a Conkin Sidewinder 7-String Bass that I call “The Bitch.” I used to have a huge stack of amplifiers I played through (Biamped of course) that I called “The Monster.” And, most recently, I just got a Dean 7-String Guitar, that I heavily modified, that I call “Mini Bitch.”
Apparently she was a musician, seated in the orchestra pit, playing for a performance of The Nutcracker, fell asleep, dreamed that’s where she was, only to awake and find she WAS.
OK?
Did I put Conkin? Oh, dear… I meant Conklin. It really is a beautiful piece of wearable furniture.
>My Black Strat. It’s Mexican made. I ought to find a really kick-ass Mexican nobleman’s name to give to it.
Hey, I was going to suggest the name of the great Spanish duke, who at the time of the disastrous Lisbon earthquake, reported to the King. (All the other advisors were saying it was the wrath of God, and he needed to repent, and fast, and have everyone repent, and cease sinning, and walk to the Cathedral on their knees, and slay the Jews and unbelievers, etc etc). So the Duke said what they needed was to “Bury the dead and feed the living.”
Well, I checked Google, and it’s in the Encyclopedia Britannica, but it was a Portuguese Marquess of Pombal, which is a stretch for Mexico, but he was definitely kick-ass.
Clarinet: Iocunda, which means happy (feminine form) in Latin.
Guitar: Doom Spot. This actually has a story behind it. On the 6th string, there is a certain spot (3rd fret) that if played around somone will buzz horribly, yet when played by yourself is just fine.
My Fender Jazz Bass is named Tina.
My Takamine acoustic is called Rose. My violin is called “Fond Memory” now, as an ex stole it and pawned it a few years back. I used to call her Lacey, for the piece of lace tied around the peg.
Instruements are named
Black Hollowbody electric- Sam (has a Yosemite Sam sticker on the pick guard)
White Tele- the Wave (2) in memorium of the stolen and much lamented black Strat called The Wave
Acoustic- Huck
and the rest, like seven’s are called MIDI I/O 1, MIDI I/O 2, MIDI I/O 3, etc…
i currently have a cat named Cat.
I never considered myself enough of a musician to name any of my instruments. I never cared enough for a guitar to name it. Hell, it’s a guitar; it ain’t family.
The guitars in my life are/were
the Kent
the Epiphone
the electric
the black one (sometimes called “the guitar”)
the 12-string
the custom guitar or “the one I had made” as in:
Hand me that guitar.
which one?
The one I had made.
(sometimes called the “peace” guitar because of the inlay I cut for the headstock.)
The didgeridoo is called
the didgeridoo,
the didge, or
djoo-doo, which is what my 21 month old calls it. (He can play the thing as well as I.)
My P-bass is named Tito, after the Jackson’s bass player.
My old bass is called “My Old Bass.” My new bass is called “My New Bass.” My new amplifier is called “My Great New Amplifier.” My old amplifier was called “The Fart Machine.”
My Takamine acoustic guitar is Dave, because it’s my trusty old friend and to me that’s a trusty old friend name.
My black Ibanez electric is named Jeremy, in honor of my beautiful guitar teacher I once took lessons from. No, he did not know the guitar’s name, but I think of him every time I run my fingers up and down the neck. Lord I love that guitar.