Step 1, bring it home for “safe keeping”, unless I’m going to be immediately arrested or shot at for picking it up.
Step 2, call the police from a burner cell, or pay phone* ask them if anyone reported missing money, indicate clearly that you are hoping to return it to the owner ASAP, but that you are not turning anything over until the owner claims it.
Step 3 - return it, if someone can correctly identify the amount, spend it if nobody reports it missing.
*Your grandparents might know what these are.
I’d be looking for the camera crew filming the prank. I might pick up the bag, see what’s in it, and ‘accidentally’ spill the contents out onto the street. But most likely I’d just call the police and report it.
I cousin of mine took bag of cash that fell off an armored truck to the police. Turns out there was another bag that was missing or at least that’s what the police said while questioning him. They thought he turned in one to avoid suspicion about keeping the other one. I don’t remember if he was actually detained or arrested and let go, but he was at the police station all day answering questions.
I wouldn’t touch it. I don’t think I would be doing anyone any favors if I did. The driver is still getting fired whether the money turns up or not.
Call the police; since I know it came from an armored truck I can reasonably expect that they can identify who it came from and arrange for its return. Therefore I have a responsibility to do so.
What I meant to do, though, was explore the potential moral and ethical dilemma created by the tension between the desire to keep the money and the desire to behave in a moral and ethical manner - not to mention a legal manner.
I wouldn’t even touch the bag. I’d call the police, and maybe keep an eye on the bag if I’ve got nothing better to do, but I wouldn’t risk getting any more involved by touching the bag. I don’t have any responsibility to do more than that.
Turn it into the cops and hope for a reward; bitch like hell to the media if I didn’t get one. But first I’d send out pictures of rolls of bills next to my penis using the name ‘Carlos Danger Too’.