What do you just love about newbies?

Me? I just love when newbies resurrect old threads that haven’t been posted on since August 2000 or 1999. It shows they are back dating their minds. Ain’t it cute?

I love when, after reading those old posts, they ask, “Who was Wally?” They are trying to fit in.

I love it when they try to post their first thread and watch it plummet to the ground with zero responses. Is that cruel? Well excuse me if I’m cruel.

I love it when they try to use vB Code for the first time and they don’t preview the post, then end up with things like, *excuse me[/i[ *.

So, what do you love about newbies?

I love the smell of newbies in morning. Smells like…

I dunno, it coulda been funny…

Moderator’s Notes: I’m moving this to the Pit. I’ve searched in vain for even a hint of sarcasm or dry humor; I can’t find one, so I’m moving this thread to the Pit. Y’all can bitch about it over there. Conversely, the people who don’t agree with you can take their shots, too.

What do you just love about any given social group?

Invariably, someone finds a basis to form us/them distinctions within the club/ association/community.

Maharoth, what is the magic number of posts whereby one is no longer a newbie? 249? Are all the current venerable long-term posters (including one I’m quite close to) considered competent solely for the number of their posts, not for the content therein? Were their first 5, 10, 100 posts automatically null and void if they didn’t know the secret SDMB handshake? If you’re an old vet and you make some of the mistakes mentioned above, will you get a “Newbie” tag attached to your back?

(sigh), call me bait-taker. I’ve recently moved, wanted to get involved in some new local organizations, but IRL, lots of social groups have the same old-boy-IN, new-kid-OUT mentality. Maharoth, you’re a non-newbie! Huzzah, huzzah, kudos.

See? That’s exactly what I meant, Mahaloth.

Well said, Pegosaurus, alhtough I’d have been far more profane.

I just love it when someone insults an entire group for quirks only found in a few.

I love it when someone on message has to put others down simply because they’ve been around longer and posted more, regardless of the quality of all posts.

I absolutely love it when someone insults other people because of honest mistakes made, as if the speaker has never made a mistake at all.

Don’t get me wrong; newbies can be annoying. So can old-timers.

My apologies if you’re being sincere; however, it seems this is meant to be condescending.

I consider myself an “oldie”, but goodie. I have no problems at all with newbies. There are posters here with thousands of posts that I could give a crap about, and there are some with less then 10 that I get a great laugh from.

To gently pick apart your post, someone posting to an old thread (not intentionally) can be caused by using the “search” function, which people are constatly harping to do. So if someone does a search on “songs” and turns up my old thread from a year ago, so what? They contribute, and if others want to, cool. What’s the big deal?

The part about posts plummeting is just silly. I’ve had threads fall before- again, no big deal. It doesn’t mean you’re unpopular, it means no one felt like discussing your issue with you. ::shrug::

When you see all sorts of people with “genuine Wally sigs” and the boards are so damned slow that a search is impossible, there’s nothing wrong with asking “Who’s Wally?” How else is someone supposed to know?

And broken code? Come on. Hardly a “newbie” problem.

Oh, and since this is the pit? I think you’re fucking twit. Have a nice day.


I find that posters with 1539 posts are typically the only ones with anything valuable to say.

ZETTE – I think the true criteria for wisdom and wit is being in the class of 5 of '99. :smiley: Anyone who signed up after that is be definition a “newbie.”

MOUTHBREATHER – What a waste of the crucial post. :wink:

My response to the OP was “everybody’s gotta be pissed about something.”

Yes, mouthbreather, but only exactly 1539 posts. More or less and they just suck.

I have no complaints whatever about newbies.
Newbies are always the largest segment of the posters at any given time.
Newbies are the most fun people on the board. Their enthusiam is undimmed.
They seldom complain, and that’s nice.
A few extra typos and a few extra failures to cite threads- not enough to trouble me one bit.

Newbies, welcome!

I agree. Whenever I read your posts I think to myself: “Self, that Jodi is one witty, wise chick. Must be all the good people with something to contribute that never make mistakes registered in May of 1999. The rest of these people are just total idiots, and ugly as a hatful of assholes, to boot.”

Zette :slight_smile:

For the S&G police:


Glass houses, kiddo. AFAIC, anyone who cries about how awful “newbies” are is trying far too hard not to be seen as one.

Right! That’s what I’m sayi…

::looks over at post count::

aww, fuck. :wink:

[i[ My name is Turbo Dog ]/i] and I am a newbie. I had no idea how much of a fucking dipshit I am.

Who the hell is Wally, anyway?

Yeah, Newbies suck!
What are you trying to say about me?

The board today is absolutely crackers.
With nuclear posters to writing while they’re high.
There’s fools and idiots sitting on the “post reply” button.
It’s depressing, and it’s senseless, and that’s why…

I like newbies,
I like newbies,
They only come up to you knees,
Yet they’re always friendly and they’re ready to please.

I like newbies,
I like newbies,
There’s nine hundred million of them on the boards today,
You’d better learn to like them, that’s what I say.

I like newbies,
I like newbies,
some think they infest us all like fleas,
But no they’re cute, and they’re cuddly, and they’re ready to please.

I like newbie posts,
The OPers are really great hosts,
Think the many things they’ve done to impress,
There’s flirt threads, pit rants, and they show off their chests.

I like newbies,
I like newbies,
I like their misbracketed [b['s,
They’re fun, they’re fiesty, and they don’t know Wally

I like newbie thought,
The wisdom that JDT taught,(sorry)
If Darwin is anything to shout about,
The newbies will survive us all without any doubt.

So, I like newbies,
I like newbies,
They only come up to you knees,
Yet they’re wise, and they’re witty, and they’re ready to please

Wo, I chumba run,
Wo, I chumba run,
Wo, I chumba run,
Ne hamma, Ne hamma, Ne hamma chi chen.

I like newbies,
I like newbies,
Their posts are guaranteed to please,
no matter which board, through SDMB

I like newbies,
I like newbies…

Ender, that was the single coolest Monty Python reference EVER!

“I’m a newbie here and I’m OK;
I never search, I just post a-way …”

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with newbies. I like 'em, myself. They make things exciting.

The irritating newbies (definitely a small percentage) are the ones who clearly don’t read before they post are write things like

but AFAICS, they don’t last very long anyway.