I’ll start off:
Clean beds and no crazy people wandering the parking lot, that’s pretty much what I look for. Don’t care about parking (don’t own a car), pools (have no kids), or restaurants (since I’m always staying in big cities, I have far better choices than the hotel within walking distance.) So what do you look for? And what are your dealbreakers?
Actually, for me, the number one sense is smell. I hate a smoky, musty or moldy-smelling room, and will make a fuss if shown to one. Otherwise I’m pretty easygoing. A king bed is nice, but optional.
- Cheap
- Quiet
- Windows I can open.
- A bed, or at least some quilts or padding.
Location, a bed and running water for basic hotel rooms. There is also expected clientele. That sort of goes along with the star rating of the hotel but not always. I have had a fight happen right outside my door in the middle of the night in a very nice hotel in Chesapeake, Virginia and a couple that decided to argue outside my door for 30+ minutes at a Hilton in Colorado Springs when I had to do an important business presentation 4 hours later.
I have sleeping disorders, so, if you want to see a perfect stranger fly into a blind rage in nothing but boxers, yell a bunch of drunk, belligerent shit right outside my door for any length of time in the middle of the night. They all made the right choice and ran, and then shut the hell up because someone was going to get hurt and it wasn’t going to be me.
I guess that means I have to include quiet on that list but I have also gotten that at lots of Motel 6’s and the equivalent. The vast majority of expensive hotels are a waste of money. My strategy for true vacations is to buy a cheap hotel room close to the expensive ones and then hang out in the latter. It works everywhere from Waikiki Beach to the Las Vegas strip.
**What do you look for in a hotel room? **
Dead Hookers.
Clean Bed.
Shower and towels.
Don’t care about the rest. Really.
If I’m just staying 1 night while traveling then all I need is a clean bed and no rats, cockroaches, etc…
If I’m going to be there for a while, on top of clean, in a decent area, etc., I like there to be a refrigerator so I can cold soda/beer when I get back to my room. I like there to be a pool too, even though many times we don’t use it. I just like the option of having one there.
Extra towels…someone to talk to…hate to be somewhere,out of town, one alone.
Clean.
Good lock on door.
Working plumbing in the bathroom.
No bugs and if possible access direct to the outside on the first floor; I hate lugging crap through the lobby or upstairs.
Deal-breakers: give me a dirty and/or smelly room and you will never see my face again. I may even head for the desk and make a case out of it and move on down the road.
Clean bed and bathroom.
Quiet enough to let me sleep
No outside lights shining in my window.
Reasonable temperature control in the room.
Hot water to shower with in the morning.
I get hotel rooms to sleep in and get ready in the morning.
At least a queen-sized bed with a decent mattress.
Reasonable amount of floor space. (Does not apply in Japan.)
Counter space in the bathroom for my stuff.
A desk with enough plugs to work, and a reasonable wifi connection.
Someplace reasonable for breakfast (ie, for under $15) or within walking distance of someplace reasonable.
Clean… even if it has a dirt floor (like a few places I stayed in Sudan and Sri Lanka).
Forgive my editing, but that leads into my answer. If you want quiet, be around old people. If you want old people, go to an RV park. Even on business, I stay in my RV now. No one shares my walls, the oldsters around me go to bed early, and my meds, equipment, etc. aren’t bothered/pilfered by cleaning staff. In the unlikely event of noisy neighbors, moving is pushing a few buttons and turning a key with no packing necessary (everything’s already in the closets and fridge).
I realize it’s not for everyone, nor for every journey, but I’ve found it the perfect solution. I haven’t stayed at a hotel on business since 2013.
Free Wi-Fi. And a nice bathroom and general cleanliness and good service. But mostly Wi-Fi.
Spare electrical outlets. I need to be able to plug in my phone and my tablet.
Robes. (My wife’s demand)
King size bed
Availability of room service and a bar in the lobby
A fitness room with decent equipment
Same day Laundry/dry cleaning
If it’s a business trip, then I try to maximize my loyalty rewards (but not in an abusive way; I’m still frugal with company money). In the USA where we don’t have four star choices, then I look for something close to where I have to be, as I’ll always have a car and can drive into town. In Asia, I try to get near a city center or tourist area, because I typically won’t have a car, and want to be able to explore new things.
However, when booking for personal travel, it depends on where I’m going and why I’m there and whether or not I’m spending money or points. I like to keep my points for absurdly expensive places (Crown Plaza in Key West, for example), and use money in the USA where lodging is generally inexpensive (other than, say, Key West).
If I’m on a cycle tour, then I’m in beggars-can’t-be-choosers mode, as I don’t camp; I only credit card tour.
There’s only ever been one deal killer, and it was a motel in Mexico. In Mexico there are plenty of “moteles de paso,” which generally are hourly, sex-themed hotels, but they’re also pretty decent for road trips, and safe. Somewhere along the drive from Hermosillo to Guadalajara (I don’t remember exactly where), it was time to sleep, and the place was so ratty and seedy that even the clerk told me it was pretty much “de paso” and not suitable for sleeping. (Strictly speaking, “de paso” is very much a travellers’ lodge, but the modern connotation is always understood as a sex motel).
Prefer outside entrance so I don’t have to meander the halls. But those are going away due to security. So I’ll settle for a balcony that I can actually stand on.
Clean, comfortable bed
Functioning bathroom
Quiet
Not smelly
A nice view is a bonus.