What do you think: Full/white/formal church wedding for couple living together 15 years?

Like basically everyone, I think the happy couple should do whatever they want wedding wise, but pay for it themselves.

My own wedding situation was weird. I was 23 (and only child), the groom was 25, and my parents, especially my mother, were determined to give us a huge, perfect, traditional wedding - which neither I nor the groom wanted. But because we were dutiful children, we let them commandeer the whole thing. I had a fancy white dress, lots of bridesmaids, etc. etc. We hated it but did it out of respect.

Then until the day she died, my mother held a grudge because I didn’t say “thank you” for all the money and effort my parents spent on the wedding. Yeesh. Traditions are okay, but blind adherence to them can produce some mighty dumb results.

Zactly.