What do you think is an appropriate response to different bad services in a restaurant?

Cafe Society
1

I come from a place where bad service is the norm (well, unless you are an expat, or a traveling tourist), even at middle-range restaurant, so I am curious to find out what sort of reaction is considered ‘okay’ to the following outrages

  1. Waiter is rude, or lacking in manners, or generally display bad altitude (sighing, rolling eyeballs)

  2. Waiter mixed up the orders, but food comes on time…

  3. Your order has been forgotten and you have been left waiting for 15 to 30 minutes (and is expected to wait another 10 for the food to come)

  4. You found something mildly icky, like hair in your food; or that the food is unsatisfactory (too salty, the beef is not at the done-ness you want)

  5. You found something considerably icky in your food.

For the quality of the restaurant, let’s assume anything one or two steps above MacDonalds, that is, the place will expect tips or service charges. If those do happen, what is a reasonable reaction (In your opinion) and what do you expect the business to do?

Just for comparison, I have number 3 and 4 happened quite frequently and the usual norm is to keep quiet and make up your mind not to come back again. Quality of service is expected to be low so much that no one really makes a fuss. There was once I was kept waiting for a long time for my food (they obviously forgot, but when I raised the issue they told me “It’s coming”), and when I mentioned it when paying the bill, all I got was a “We’re so sorry. Here’s your change. Bye!”

2
  1. usually means lower tip.
  2. is completely inconsequential. If they’re just mixed up, all he has to do is go back and get the right one.
  3. Depends on if they let me know it’s been forgotten. That long a wait would almost be time to get up and leave, otherwise.
  4. It rarely bothers me, but my mom has them take the food back. Hair is worse than salty, though.
  5. Um, never happened to me at all. If I knew the place was normally good, I’d just send it back. If not, I’d probably send it back and leave.
3

Depends. I really can’t say, I am not in your country so I have no idea of the expectations.

In the US, tips are frequently shared between the staff, so if you short the waitress, the rest of the staff suffer.

Then again, yucky food is a kitchen problem, not a waitress problem.
The waitress should get the manager and settle the issue - remake the dish, take it back and make it less rare, or heat the food to hot, or whatever it takes to repair the dish. If there is a hair in the food, the dish should be replaced, or if the food quality sucks that badly, perhaps you should not eat there and go elsewhere.

If it is a matter that you can’t get good food in a restaurant, and you don’t want to stand up to the staff and make the management correct things, stop going to that place. If there is no place to your standards, stay home and make quality food. Not to be harsh, but I would rather cook for myself that suffer horrible foods and crappy service. Life is too short to suffer if the answer is simply make it yourself at home. Anybody can learn to cook if they really want to.

4
  1. No tip. If you can’t be at least somewhat pleasant, find a new job.
  2. Mistakes happen. I won’t hold them against a server if they graciously resolve the problem.
  3. No tip. If you’re leaving me stranded for 30 minutes, you are incompetent at your job. Find a new one.
  4. I don’t freak out over a hair in my food. If the food is not well prepared, but the service is good, I will tip ~15% and not come back.
  5. I will leave. Neither the server or the restaurant will see a nickel.

I’m a fair tipper. If a server treats me well, they get 20% If they treat me poorly, they get nothing. If the service or food (or both) is barely adequate, 15%

I don’t believe in small tips as punishment. The message sent will not be received. Your server will just think that you’re a cheap bastard. Zero tip leaves no room for misunderstanding. And I don’t want to discuss it with the manager, because I won’t be back.

I think I’ve zero tipped less than 5 times ever.

5

Moving thread from IMHO to Cafe Society.

6

1) Waiter is rude, or lacking in manners, or generally display bad altitude (sighing, rolling eyeballs)
Depends on the scale. If it’s “having a bad day” attitude, I let it pass. If it’s “I wouldn’t talk to my mother like that” rudeness, I let the manager know as I leave.

2) Waiter mixed up the orders, but food comes on time…
Not a big deal at all, for really any level of “mixed up” - from “forgot that Ann had the beef and I had the chicken” to “I asked for no mushrooms because I’m allergic, but got a whole plate of 'em”. That’s never really set me off before for some reason.

3) Your order has been forgotten and you have been left waiting for 15 to 30 minutes (and is expected to wait another 10 for the food to come)
That pisses me off. I’m usually pretty friendly with waitstaff, but my mood will be noticeably more upset. If the waiter doesn’t notice or offer a sincere apology or go above and beyond to fix it, the tip and the chances of me returning decrease.

4) You found something mildly icky, like hair in your food; or that the food is unsatisfactory (too salty, the beef is not at the done-ness you want)
I order beef rare, and will deal with medium rare (and I might tell the waiter “it’s medium rare instead of rare, but that’s fine, I’ll eat it”). If it comes back medium, I send it back. If it’s hair, I just pluck it out and go on - that doesn’t really bother me, unless it’s a LOT of hair… I’ve never had food too salty before, so I dunno about that.

5) You found something considerably icky in your food.
This has definitely not happened before. I’d want to talk to the manager, and I’d want him to comp the meal. I probably wouldn’t come back unless there was a gift certificate involved as well.

7

What part of the US are you from? This is incredibly rare at any place that isn’t a diner everywhere I’ve ever been.

8
  1. Definitely low tip.
  2. It depends. If the right food is given to the wrong people, no worries. If I get something different from what I ordered, but still good, I may be fine with it, but will point it out. If it is something I don’t like, I’ll send it back. Tip depends on the efficiency of making it right.
  3. Probably happens most often. Happened last week in an airport restaurant, of all places. Service was slow, but the waitress vanished when it was bill time. I finally flagged down the waiter who actually had delivered my food, and he said “who is your waitress?” Give me a break, it was a tiny restaurant, and he should have noticed. Small tip for that crowd.
  4. Send it back. If the waiter is your advocate he/she might actually get a bigger tip.
  5. Never happened, but if it did it would be manager time, since the manager needs to know if the kitchen is screwing up. Anything less that total outrage on the manager’s part and a real attempt to make it right means I walk and never return. I think most US restaurants of any decent quality know that if they do this sort of thing they close real soon.
9

1) Waiter is rude, or lacking in manners, or generally display bad altitude (sighing, rolling eyeballs) Smaller tip or talk with the manager, depending on the magnitude of rudeness.

2) Waiter mixed up the orders, but food comes on time…
Depends on mix-up, too. Hell, even if I get something I didn’t order, if it looks good, I’ll just eat it. May result in asking for correct food and reducing tip.

**3) Your order has been forgotten and you have been left waiting for 15 to 30 minutes (and is expected to wait another 10 for the food to come)**Tip is going down every minute we wait, and manager may need to be involved. The attitude of the server is important here.

**4) You found something mildly icky, like hair in your food; or that the food is unsatisfactory (too salty, the beef is not at the done-ness you want)**Probably talk to the server and try to fix it up.

**5) You found something considerably icky in your food.**The manager is getting called over. Icky things should not be served.

We’ve been in a strange position in Calgary for a couple of years, where almost all restaurants have been short-staffed. The levels of service have gone waaaay down here, and our response to it has been reducing our tips (with the note that waitstaff in Canada make at least minimum wage [~$8/hour] and are not completely dependent on tips to live).

10

I’ll either tip lower than usual or just stop patronizing that particular establishment, unless the quality of the food makes up for the lack of service. Personally, I’m one of those diners that doesn’t really care about the level of service, as long as the food is good and the service isn’t egregiously over-the-top bad. I’ve also lived in cultures where poor service is the norm, so you either adapt to it, find an establishment that has an acceptable level of service for you, or simply stop eating out. Or you can drive yourself crazy trying to get the level of service you’re accustomed to.

11

My stepson works at a The Keg and that’s their practice. Everyone, from the waiters, the cooks, and even the dishwasher proportionally shares in the tip fund. This is in Canada, though. I’m not even sure if there are Kegs in the States?

12

  1. Lower tip, how low depends how rude.

  2. Not a big deal, so long as the mix up is fixed.

  3. Depends. It they’re upfront and apologetic, okay. If they just act like nothing odd is going on, either lower tip, or if extremely long, just leave. I’ve never had to take the just leave option, though I would if food hadn’t come after say an hour (which seems to happen on those Gordon Ramsey shows all the time :p)

  4. Hair? See cat 5. Too salty (or spicy, or weird taste etc)? Maybe say something and not finish it, but no expectation of replacement. Over/under done beef? Send it back until they get it right. I’ve had them comp a steak after sending it back because it was over/under done, but I have no expectation of them doing that, just get it how I asked for.

  5. Send it back.
    And always try to be nice about these things. Not "OH YOU STUPID CUNT THERE’S A HAIR IN MY SOUP AND MY STEAK’S TOO DONE!.

13

If a waiter sighed or rolled his eyes at me (unless I really wanted food from that restaurant right then) I’d walk out. I might make a comment to the waiter “If you don’t want to serve us, they we’ll leave” I’d also mention to either the manager or the host/hostess of that person’s behavior that my party is leaving. I don’t care how much you hate the job or how crappy of a day you’re having there’s never any excuse whatsoever for taking it out on the customer or even doing or saying something that might let the customer know how you feel…period.
…and it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done it.

14

1) Waiter is rude, or lacking in manners, or generally display bad altitude (sighing, rolling eyeballs)

No tip for you. Fake a smile if you have to; you can be surly all you want after I’m gone.

2) Waiter mixed up the orders, but food comes on time…

No big deal.

3) Your order has been forgotten and you have been left waiting for 15 to 30 minutes (and is expected to wait another 10 for the food to come)

Depends on how rushed I am. If I’ve got the time, I’ll wait. I’ll tip lower though. If I’m pressed though, I’ll just pay for my drink and walk out.

4) You found something mildly icky, like hair in your food; or that the food is unsatisfactory (too salty, the beef is not at the done-ness you want)

A single hair is no big deal, I’ll just pick it out and eat around it. I don’t expect haute cuisine in the restaurants I can afford to eat at, so I don’t really care if a medium steak is medium rare, or well done.

5) You found something considerably icky in your food.

I’m not paying for it. And if it’s a restaurant I’ve never been before, I’m not coming back. It won’t stop me from ever coming back to a restaurant that I’ve been at several times before, but I’m still not paying for that meal.

15

My Mom, who waitressed for 30 years, tips big when she gets good service. (30-40%). When it’s bad, she lets them know in no uncertain terms. But her policy is to then leave a penny tip. She explains it as, if you leave no tip, they can always rationalize that you weren’t going to leave a tip no matter what. The penny tip means, “I ALWAYS leave a tip, but this is the smallest one I can leave.” Maybe not every service person will figure that out, but that’s what she does. I know I’m not answering the OP, for which I apologize. But wanted to add to the discussion about tipping.

16

I’ve heard from server friends of mine that a penny means that the customer appreciated the service, but can’t afford a proper tip. I’ve been told that this is mostly done by senior citizens. Very probably a regional thing. Or maybe my server friends are delusional and suck at their jobs. :slight_smile:

17

Mostly similar answers to others:

1) Waiter is rude, or lacking in manners, or generally display bad altitude (sighing, rolling eyeballs)
The tip is lowered accordingly, and depending on the level of rudeness, a word with the manager on my way out might be appropriate.

2) Waiter mixed up the orders, but food comes on time…
For a small mix-up (right entrees but placed in front of wrong people, say), there’s no problem, it’s an easy fix. Bigger issues, like getting the wrong food entirely, or getting a heap of vile raw onions on my salad after I ask for “no onions,” will depend on how quickly and graciously they make it right. Mistakes happen, and if you fix it, you’re OK.

3) Your order has been forgotten and you have been left waiting for 15 to 30 minutes (and is expected to wait another 10 for the food to come)
A lot depends on my mood at the time, but more so on the attitude of the staff concerning the delay. The nicer they are about it, the more apt I am to forgive them. Would be nice if they’d comp me a drink or something.
But if I’m completely ignored and just left sitting there, I have been known to get up and leave. (This is a big reason I never go to Denny’s anymore!)

4) You found something mildly icky, like hair in your food; or that the food is unsatisfactory (too salty, the beef is not at the done-ness you want)
A single hair? No biggie, I remove it and forget about it. Unsatisfactory food? If I think it can be remedied quickly and easily, I might very politely request it, and again, their attitude and promptness at fixing it will dictate my reaction. If the food just isn’t very good I won’t hold it against the server, but I’ll be unlikely to go back to that restaurant again.

5) You found something considerably icky in your food.
Like bugs or a mouse or something? I’m definitely making a fuss to the manager and not paying for the meal, and probably would never return. But this has never happened to me.

18

I’ve only had to do this once, but I left a two-penny tip for exceptionally poor service. I would think a penny might be interpreted as just a stray coin that had fallen on the table. Two pennies together seemed pretty clear to me.

19

1) Waiter is rude, or lacking in manners, or generally display bad altitude (sighing, rolling eyeballs)
Low/no tip, and talk to the manager depending on what they actually do

2) Waiter mixed up the orders, but food comes on time…
Not a big deal as long as they make it right

3) Your order has been forgotten and you have been left waiting for 15 to 30 minutes (and is expected to wait another 10 for the food to come)
Annoying, might be reflected in a tip depending on how the waiter handles it - if they’re apologetic and try to make it right, it’s OK

4) You found something mildly icky, like hair in your food; or that the food is unsatisfactory (too salty, the beef is not at the done-ness you want)
A hair, I’d probably pick out and assume it was mine, unless I found a bunch, then I’d send it back. I’ll also send back something that’s not done how I ordered it. I supposed I’d send back something that was truly just bad, but that hasn’t happened to me. If I got what I ordered, and it’s just not to my taste (say I was trying something new), I wouldn’t complain about it though. Also, it wouldn’t affect tipping since this probably isn’t the server’s fault.

5) You found something considerably icky in your food.
Assuming this means something that could hurt me or make me sick, definitely send it back and talk to a manager.

20

On the flipside of being forthright about such things, I was out at a business lunch at a very high-end hotel restaurant a few months ago. Not one, but two people accepted meals that they didn’t order. The plates were switched up, and neither had the stones or wherewithal to object.

How the fuck can you not realize that you’re eating something you didn’t order? Were they both just exceedingly polite? I don’t really know. Maybe they forgot what they ordered?

Perhaps unfairly, I think less of both of them for it.