Funny this should come up now. I’m also habitually 15 or 20 minutes early. I can still remember a couple of friends arguing about whether I was late or not because I showed up only 3 minutes early when I was meeting them. On the other hand, the two other IT guys in my company, my best friend, and the man I love dearly are all habitually late. I also had a bit of a blow up with two other friends last Saturday when they called me at 10:30 to tell me they hadn’t left yet and it would be about another hour and a half to get to my place because they hadn’t left yet. We were supposed to meet at 10:00.
My coworkers’ being late doesn’t really bother me. We’re all on salary, I’ve got a pretty good idea of when they’ll show up, and we rarely have anything that time-sensitive. If we do, someone is there and any of us will work late or work through lunch if we need to.
On the other hand, I haven’t been happy when a coworker’s lateness has resulted in extra work for me. To give you an example, a few years ago, a coworker was supposed to cover the reception desk starting at 8 because our regular receptionist was on an assignment. We had someone booked to come in for an interview at 8:30. When my coworker failed to show up on time, our HR person and I agreed I’d stop what I was doing and move to the front desk at 8:15 to cover. Unfortunately, the person arrived for her interview at 8:10, leaving me scrambling a bit. I didn’t like the impression it gave of our company. My coworker came in about an hour later. Her car didn’t start that morning and it didn’t occur to her to call in and tell anyone. In her defense, she was very young in mindset, even though she was in her 20s.
Last Saturday’s situation forced me to look at things. You see, I became angry, nearly started a thread asking if I was being unreasonable, and called my best friend to vent. (My best friend is usually 20 minutes late; she agreed that 2 hours is unreasonable.) I was raised on the same principle my grandfather raised my mother: “If you’re not 15 minutes early, you’re late.” I was also raised to certain standards of lady-like behaviour. By those standards, if you’re expecting guests, everything must be ready for them 10 or 15 minutes before they arrive and you cannot do anything which cannot be easily and immediately interupted on their arrival. This pretty much limits me to reading or simple knitting (although I admit I do play a certain video game as a time killer). If you’re going somewhere, which we were, you must be at a point when all you need to do when they arrive is put on your coat and shoes and grab your purse. As a result, I find waiting for people incredibly boring! I was also told that if I wasn’t where I needed to be on time when I was meeting my family that I would be left. I believed that threat. As a result, when dealing with friends who are chronically late, I get into a “How come I have to wait for everyone but no one has to wait for me?” mentality, even though I know the latter’s not the case. Now that I’ve sorted it out, I am working on it, but I’m still happier being early than late. I don’t think that will change, but I hope I’ll become easier on myself while I’m waiting for friends.
I’m a morning person, as anyone who notices my post times can tell you. I have worked 2nd and 3rd shift type hours; I even used to regularly do a bit of work which lasted from 10:30 pm to 1 or 2 am, when I was working in Hawaii, and there were a few mornings when, after doing that, I’d have to be back at work at 5:30 or 6 am, and be alert, bright, and cheerful to boot since I was welcoming tourists to Hawaii at night and seeing them onto their transportation to the airport at the end of their stay in the morning. It wasn’t easy or pleasant, but it was part of the job and I did it, being on-site and ready to go at least 10 minutes early. Punctuality was a key part of the job and it would have mattered even if I hadn’t been incredibly neurotic in those days (“The bus is here, the tourists are here, but where’s the tour escort?!”) I know it was tough. So was walking backwards, counting tourists, and keeping up a running travelogue in Japanese all at the same time. It came with the job.
Look, to those of you who are chronically late for social functions, please understand that when you are late, especially if we’re meeting somewhere other than at my place, you’ve left me with nothing to do but sit or stand around, maybe read a book, and generally get bored and impatient. I try to be patient; I’m not very good at it. Meanwhile, I’m assuming you’re doing something more interesting, even if it’s only fighting traffic, which is less boring that waiting, even if it is more frustrating. I try to be easy going, but it isn’t always easy, especially if it’s cold, there’s nowhere to sit, and I forgot to bring a book with me. I’m also reluctant to leave the area in case during the 5 minutes I’m gone, you turn up, decide I’m not there, and leave without me. Lest someone accuse me of being unrealistic, this actually happened to me with my family the Thanksgiving before last! Please, show a little mercy to the chronically early and impatient?
CJ
She’s finally gotten to the point of accepting that we leave early to the airport (and there have been a few occaisions that we needed the time).