What does a new mom really need?

In My Humble Opinion
21

I’ll agree with everything MsWhatsit said, though that’s probably because she and I have fairly identical philosophies on child-rearing. Go AP! (Sorry, didn’t mean to editorialize.)

I don’t know where the “Penumbra” is, but I think i most places, hats become pretty essential, especially if baby doesn’t have a lot of hair. In summer they protect from the sun (sunscreen is also a necessity) and in winter they help prevent heat loss. I think the trick is simply to find one that’s comfortable. BabyTeaElle is perfectly happy in her floppy bucket style sun hat, probably because it doesn’t have a silly tie under her chin and it’s not tight and constrictive around her little head.

Other than that, I think everyone else has it about covered.

22

Thanks everyone! This is really a great help. Some of the stuff I’m seeing here I’d never seen on any of the lists. I also did figure to hit the thrift stores (I know where a few are) as well as Walmart.

Considering it will be middle of winter when caterpillar arrives should I invest in a snow suit of some kind? Or do you think I could get away with just lots of warm wrappings? You see I don’t drive so if I go anywhere I have to walk or take the bus… I don’t want baby getting a chill or anything while doing so! I was thinking I could do so, simply because of the growing fast thing. I don’t want to buy something that they’ll outgrow within a month and it’s still cold out.

I don’t know what I’m having beyond that’s it’s a baby and appears healthy! :stuck_out_tongue: Up here getting tested for the sex of the baby is generally considered unnecessary so I have to pay out of pocket for that. An ultrasound to check is $30, and I’d rather put that towards onesies and such instead of figuring out whether caterpie is a boy or girl! Though according to this one chart I found caterpie is a girl. :smiley:

My due date is December 30 so I keep having people tell me I’m going to have a Christmas baby or even the New Years baby. And I’m feeling semi-decent. I was really sick at the beginning and so lost my job for missing too much work (ill with whatever was going around for about a month on top of morning sickness. Working in Tim Horton’s did not agree with that and since I was the sole front counter person I don’t think customers wanted their server to look like the risen dead and ready to be ill in their coffee.) Not so ill now, though still fairly tired a good portion of the time. Sleep patterns a wreck as I try to figure everything out (though amazingly not really stressed just think too much). shrugs Just trying to do my best.

I plan to go back to school in September 2004, by that time things will have settled down a bit (hopefully).

23

If you don’t have to worry about getting the baby into a carseat, I really liked the wintertime buntings. They’re basically a big bag with a zipper going up the front, and a hood where the baby’s head sticks out. They’re very toasty and warm. The only problem with them is that you can’t get the baby safely into a carseat while they’re wearing a bunting, because of the legs. But if you don’t have to worry about that, I’d get one!

24

Oh baby socks do not get lost as readily if laundered in a lingere bag. (obviously when baby removes said socks and sticks them in the couch or deposits them on a shelf at the grocery this won’t help but…)

blankets and some warm clothes should be fine for the 'pillar, babies can overheat if they are too bundled and I remember taking the munchkin out of her seat and finding her all sweaty and yucky if she had too many layers even in the winter!

Oh and I have some of those buntings with a slit for the car seat straps MsWhatsit!

Oh and I’ll second the advice on bottles… all babies prefer something different.

25

If you’re planning to breastfeed, attending a La Leche League Meeting or calling one of the leaders (see http://www.lalecheleague.org to find your local group) is free. They can send you information for you to look at now and can also help after the baby arrives. Also, you might be able to get sling assistance at a LLL meeting – many of the moms who attend use slings. They’re pretty easy to use, but if you run into snags, they may be able to help.

A lot of hospitals also run free or low-cost baby care classes. If you haven’t cared for a baby before, it might not hurt to attend – and you might meet some fellow moms-to-be there as well!

My two kids survived without a playpen, crib, changing table, or baby bathtub. It can be done!

Oh, one more quick tip – keep a stack of diapers and wipes in whatever room you and baby will spend most of the time in – living room, bedroom, whatever. This eliminates running to baby’s room every time you need to change a diaper. And while some people adore the Diaper Genie, I just used a regular, lidded can when we did disposables, and had no problems.

26

We dressed our daughter in nothing but gowns when she was tiny. They are easy for diaper changes, and have the little flaps that cover her hands up, so she’d quit scratching her face.
I second the diapers and wipes in any room you spend a lot of time in, or for upstairs/downstairs.
I love my sling. I made a nice, cute pouch type swing and Em’s about to outgrow it, so I’m going to make another soon. That is the only way I can carry her around for long periods of time and keep her happy. We have one of the strappy, padded baby bjorn type ones, and I hate it.
If you’re going to breastfeed, a comfy chair is great. I spent a lot of time in the first couple of weeks nursing Em at my computer chair, because the armrests are at a height that allowed me to rest my elbows on them while I held her up. Also, Boppy pillows are really convenient.

Things we don’t have or could have done without:
Crib. I know that a lot of people use them, but we haven’t used it enough to justify buying it and bedding.
Changing table- never bought one, never needed one. The floor is fine. (Although if you go this route, another handy thing to have are waterproof, absorbant changing pads to stick under baby while they have their diaper off.)
Baby bathtub- Too bulky, we got the $2 bath sponge instead and it works just fine.
Those stretchy lace headband things that people buy so that you’ll know the baby is a girl- Nothing important, this is a personal one. i feel sorry for those babies! =)

27

As soon as we found out my wife was pregnant, we started buying a package of diapers and a jar or two of baby food every time we bought groceries. Six or seven packages of each size of diaper took care of us and the results were pretty impressive. We had exactly enough “Newborn” size diapers. We’re looking to possibly have one extra package of size “1” diapers. We haven’t bought diapers since our son came - that money is being spent on other necessities, such as socks and onesies.

Things that have come in very handy for my wife with our boy:

Cloth diapers - he wears disposables, but cloth diapers are soft and make the best burp rags.

Boppy pillow - she loves the Boppy, and so does he.

Diaper bag - this is actually very important, especially if you carry a purse. You will want to find a nice, big diaper bag with extra pockets to transfer your purse “essentials” into, because you probably don’t want two bags slung over your shoulder at all times. The diaper bag will become your purse until you stop needing a diaper bag.

Changing pads - very important if you like your furniture/carpet.

Receiving blankets - you can’t have enough of these. Not only do they keep the kid warm, they also serve as emergency towels when spills and other…accidents…happen. Sometimes they’re the only thing you can reach that’ll do the job. You’ll need at least a dozen.

As for clothes, buy lots of stuff in 3-6 and 6-9 month sizes, and bear in mind that each manufacturer has a different idea of what those sizes are. My son is two months old and wears both sizes depending on what outfit it is.

28

I ended up giving away about 3 cases worth of jar baby food. The munchkin would not eat it. She wanted what we had or she wanted nothing. YMMV but don’t buy too much until you find out what the kid will eat :slight_smile:

Oh and the minute you discover the item that baby prefers as a lovey kind of friend… buy 3 and use them interchangeably. We have a small mountain of ‘squishies’ (her special blankets) and 2 bears so that we can wash things without major tragedies.

29

Without a doubt get her a cleaning service for a month or so. Once a week have someone in to make the house spic and span. It’ll improve morale enormously.

30

Don’t forget the Lava Lamp. (Everything else seems to be covered.) Just enough light to see by and not so much to wake you up in the middle of the night. Plus it’s really freaky to watch during the 2:00 feeding when you haven’t slept for a week anna half.

Car seat.

Two/ three dozen recieving blankets (the little cotton ones) They swaddle, they cover, they make great burp rags, you can clean up most “spills” with them. Just piles and piles of recieving blankets wherever you go. (Resale shops are the best place to get 'em. If you can find any.)

Newborn diapers.

Newborn t-shirts (about 6- 12) until the belly-button stump falls off.

Q-Tips and rubbing alcohol (to keep the belly-button stump clean) or alcohol wipes.

Vaseline.

Baby wash. (A baby bath-tub helps too. Or a thick sink mat- the foam kind.)

Onesies.

Bottles and formula if you bottle feed. Not if you don’t. (Duh.)

Soak buckets. (Two 5 gallon buckets. One for “whites”, one for “colors”. When does your kid urp all over everything? Right after you do a load of laundry.)

31

We didnt’ use changing table(s) either. On our main floor we used the dryer to change the kidlets on and upstairs it was in the crib or floor.

Instead of carrying a diaper bag loaded with tons of stuff, if it is possible, keep a couple spare sets of clothes, diapers and wipes in the car. Keeping the xtra weight off your shoulders will help with fatigue.

As for strollers. The baby is usually in a car seat carrier the first four months, then they start weighing too much to haul around like that. An umbrella stroller is great after 4 months. But there is zero storage. But a back pack can be used across the handles as storage.

I only used my stroller ($198, a gift that I didn’t register for and wanted to return but couldn’t because it was from the inlaws.) maybe four times before I sold it and bought an umbrella stroller for a dollar. Well worth the mula. YMMV

32

We get a lot of use out of our “travel system” - it’s nice being able to buckle him in inside rather than outside in the heat (or, more recently, the rain), then when we get to the car we just snap the seat into its base and get in and go. Once we get to where we’re going, if we need a stroller, we pull the seat out of its base and snap it into the stroller. No fuss, no muss, and Brendan seems to enjoy the ride most of the time. Once he gets too big for the seat part of it, well, there’s still a nice stroller we’ll be able to use with him for a while.

33

Definitely diapers–although I would caution against buying an excessive number of the newborn size. Only one of my children was ever able to wear that size, and only while she was still in the hospital. I gave away many newborn size diapers to an in-law who’d had a baby three days after I did! (On a side note, I thought I’d be smart the second time and stock up on size ones–and my son was too big to wear the damn things except while he was still in the hospital!)

Slings are great, especially for large babies, and/or if you’ve had a C-section.

DO NOT STINT on the the cost of the nasal suction bulb (AKA “snot-sucker” in our home)–pay what it costs to get a good one, because midnight sure isn’t the time for you to wish you had.

Stroller–not the umbrella type for newborns. When babies fall asleep in them their heads–and even upper bodies–can slump sideways or forward. I only made this mistake once! They are great for older babies, though.

Plenty of snacks and fluids for you, Mom. If you think you were a human vacuum while you were pregnant, just wait till you’re breastfeeding. Nothing edible was safe in my vicinity!

I second using recieving blankets as burp/vomit rags. Cloth diapers are great, too, but the blankets cover more ground. They also work well as diaper changing pads.

I loved the one piece pajamas–all my kids were winter babies and I’d put them in a onesie and the pj’s–arms, legs, and feet are covered all night long, even if they kick off the blanket.

Most definitely a good car seat. I don’t know if this works every time, but I once read that if you had an old carseat (from a still-existing company), you could call them and check to see if that model still met safety standards and that if it didn’t the company might send a new one for just the cost of shipping it to you. I told a friend about this when she was pregnant and had an old carseat someone had given her. You know what? It worked! They sent her a BRAND NEW (expensive-model) carseat and all she had to pay for was the shipping costs! So if your funds are really limited you might try it. The worst they can do is just say no!

Also, you might want to get dye-and-fragrance free detergent and fabric softener.

I also second the idea of a good VCR and favorite videos. I can tell you from experience, if you have to be up for long periods of time at night, you’ll be glad to have something to look at besides the crappy 2:00 am television lineup!

34

One more thing, hon. Get a good reliable thermometer. Babies are difficult to judge by the hand-on-the-forehead thing that our mommas used, and a newborn with a fever needs to be taken to the ER pronto.

And I’m with MrsWhatsit on the socks. My babies are 2 and 4 now, and I make a trip to Old Navy just about every month, where I buy 7 pairs of white, 2-4T sized socks for 10 bucks. You’d think that by now I’d have about a million socks lying around, but somehow I never have more than a few pairs. I blame it on the cats.

Go easy on the newborn sizes, unless you know for certain that your baby is going to be regular-sized. My second was so big that my Mom had to go buy him a medium-sized sleeper to wear home from the hospital!

35

I don’t know if you have a “philosophy” on pacifiers. Some people are categorically opposed to them. I used them as a necessity (Donette needed something to suck because he was sucking the skin off his hands, his sucking drive was so strong). Anyways, if you go with pacifiers, be sure to get the little clippy things to keep them attached to the clothes. It will save you from having to stop to rinse it everytime it falls on the floor.

You need a big boiling pot. If you breastfeed and pump, you gotta sterilize the pump parts. If you bottle feed, you gotta boil bottles and nipples.

You don’t need a snow-suit thingie. I just covered Donette’s (born in February) carrier with a blanket to keep the wind out.

Get simethicone, Baby Tylenol and Baby Motrin. Since your baby will be a winter baby, the best (albeit, unsolicited) advice I can give you is to protect him/her from RSV…a deadly virus that is passed from kid to kid. The older kids are, the less it affects them so you can’t tell if an older kid might be carrying it around. This means not letting your babe be exposed to other kids until after RSV season is over in March. Even if you have to be a big, 'ole, mean bitch, it is worth it. When babies get this bug, it can kill them and you are you baby’s first line of defense. Not kidding, Donette wasn’t outside my body for 5 minutes before the nurse started talking with us about it.

Best wishes!
mmm…

36

No matter what your philosophy on paicfiers is, if you think they’re OK only start off with one or two just in case the kid isn’t impressed with them. My son doesn’t care for them. At all. [shrug]

As for sterilizing the pump, we have a microwave sterilizer. Give the pump parts a good washing, put them in the sterilizer with 7 ounces of water, and a few minutes of microwaving later, you’ve got a sterile pump. No waiting for a pot to boil. Very convenient.

37

Something I’m seeing over and over again so I’ll summerize…

Each parent is different. While one parent may “never use the stroller” another “can’t live without it.” Make your own judgements on the value of anything (except the thermomether, Tylenol, booger sucker all which you WANT for health reasons, a carseat if you drive - you need it - and the diapers - its really messy to skip diapers completely) and recognize that you may need to choose. Would I rather have a high chair (good for six to twelve months), an Exerscaucer (good for a shorter period of time, but baby will likely spend more time with it) or someone to clean the house the first month? Most people can’t buy everything.

Each parent turns out to be different than they think they will be. I really really wanted to use a sling. I spent several hundred dollars and drove my friends nuts borrowing slings and carriers to find something I was comfortable with. Turns out, I’m not a sling mom. Before you make any major investments in “lifestyle” things - make sure you’ll be the type of parent who bothers to use it. A co-sleeper works great for a lot of people, but others invest in it and discover they can’t sleep with baby in the same room - too busy listening to her breathe. Better to find that out BEFORE you buy the co-sleeper.

Each baby turns out to have a mind of her own. Preferences for diapers, rash ointment, nipple styles, pacifiers, sitting or lying down, being rocked (or not), sitting in a swing (or not) seem to been inborn. More than one mom has had her heart set on breastfeeding to find an uncooperative baby. Don’t make any huge investments until you’ve met the baby and have some idea what she will take to and what she will reject. If you bottle feed, you’ll go through a zillion nipples - but don’t buy them all up front, just in case you need to return them all for different nipples. And if possible, try before you buy.

Recognize the value of garage sales and friends and relatives with babies six months to a year older. Are you buying a new crib from the emotional baggage attached? Can you borrow one? I have a basement full of this crap (my kids are 4 and 5) waiting for my sister to have a baby (she’s been trying, but hasn’t had much luck).

(BTW, anyone in the Twin Cities needing a crib, I have two. My sister has dibs on one, but the other is a nice oak finish Jenny Lind)

38

Instead of a crib (at least initally) you might want to get a bassinet the sits right beside your bed and has one side that folds down towards you. I found this to be wonderful, especially since I breastfed. I didn’t have to get up to get her in the middle of the night and if she needed help settling down for a nap or was agitated in the night, then it was very easy for me to comfort her while still getting some rest myself. Plus then you don’t need to rely on a monitor at night. (this is an example, they cn be found cheaper than this http://www.babyage.com/product_details.asp?productId=1571086 )

If you don’t breastfeed you might want to consider a bottle warmer/cooler combination. These are usually electric and will let you keep one or two bottles in your room so you don’t have to go anywhere to feed the baby. ( http://store.babycenter.com/product/feeding/bottle_feeding/warmers_and_sterilizers/3149 )

Wipe warmers are a neat idea, but they tend to dry the wipes out - which kinda defeats the purpose.

Make sure you have extra pillows around you at feeding time. It helps to rest your arm on them and to get the baby in the right position if you’re breastfeeding.

39

Lots of good suggestions here. I never used a changing table. They’re so big they just take up space and you can only use them for a short while anyway. I also didn’t use a playpen but I had a porta-crib for when we went out-of-town… easy to set up and tear down, very convenient if you plan on visiting relatives or taking vacations.

Must haves:
[ul]
[li]Crib[/li][li]Crib sheets (flannel are great), blankets, bumper pad, NO PILLOWS, a mobile isn’t really necessary but baby likes to look at it[/li][li]Carseat - brand new is better than used unless you know the people who used it and trust that it wasn’t in an accident. You can take it to your local fire department/EMT station and they can check a carseat for you to make sure it’s ok.[/li][li]Diapers[/li][li]Wipes[/li][li]receiving blankets to wrap the babe[/li][li]burb rags/cloth diapers[/li][li]Diaper bag for diapers, wipes, rags, blankets and a couple onsies.[/li][li]onsies or gowns and 2-3 nice outfits[/li][li]socks[/li][li]wash cloths/towels[/li][li]baby shampoo/baby wash [/li][li]desitin for diaper changes[/li][li]nose sucker (preferable the one with the plastic thingy on the end so you don’t have to worry about poking it too far up the baby’s nose!)[/li][li]if bottle feeding - buy 5-6 bottles with regular nipples and see if the baby likes them. When I stopped breastfeeding my son the only nipple he would use with a bottle was a Nuk nipple!![/li][li]if breastfeeding - have a comfortable chair picked out, preferably not too low to the ground (a rocking chair is fantastic), have a couple of pillows close by to help support the baby, keep burp rags handy, a soft light, snacks if you’d like to munch and a large mug for water. [/li][li]Baby bathtubs are great until they’re old enough to sit up and then you can use the sink until they outgrow that.[/li][li]when you start bathing them in the tub don’t bother with a bath seat. They’re a pain to get their legs in and out of. [/li][li]we started used a swing when the baby(s) were 2-3 months old and I also had one of those vibrating bouncy seats… my babies loved that thing[/li][/ul]

I had one of those big fold-up strollers that, when unfolded, you could just set the entire carseat into it. It was fantastic for walking around the mall or walking around the block. It was a little bulky in the trunk but it was a lifesaver… especially when I had a 2 year old and a newborn!!

Don’t waste your money buying tons and tons of nice clothes when they’re first born because they’re a pain to put on the baby, a pain to take off and they outgrow them very quickly.

Stick on window shades for the car are nice too… especially while the baby is rear-facing in the carseat. Really keeps the sun off their eyes.

Here’s a fantastic tip for when it’s time to get baby’s immunizations: Give the baby Infant Tylenol 30 minutes before the appointment. It will make the shots much less painful for them and they will fuss less and rest easier!

If/when baby gets a fever, use Infant Motrin. Motrin works better for fevers than Tylenol does but Tylenol is better for the pain of shots.

Also, if you have a little boy… have the clean diaper ready to put over them immediately after removing the dirty diaper. A little bit of air hits that thing and it goes off!! My son peed on my head and my shoulder, and over my shoulder before I figured out I needed to be quicker with the clean diaper. Definitely a boy thing because my daughter never did this to me.

40

Definitely make sure you’re realistically going to use the stuff before you get it… I too have a ton of ‘it seemed like it would be useful but wasn’t’ stories and an equal amount of ‘I swore I wouldn’t need it but found ot indispensable’ stories.

Bath seats are horrible… we went from the plastic tub to the inflatable one to the regular bathtub. We used the bath seat twice… right now my daughter is using it to carry her teddy bear around in.

I love my changing table. I wasn’t going to buy one it was a waste of money/space. Driving home one day I saw one at a yard sale for 10 bucks. My back has thanked me profuseley every day for the last 2 years. Changing her in the crib only worked when the crib was at the highest setting… changing her on my bed required bringing her and the supplies to my bed and got my mattress wet a few times (changing pads fit in washers… king size mattresses don’t) And now the shelves on her table hold all the odd size toys that don’t go in her box.

She loathed a pacifier… suck suck suck discovered no milk inside and spat it right out.

I wasn’t a snugli kind of mom… we have one and I tried to use it but it drove me batty.

Oh and I too have an extra crib… anyone need a crib in the MA/NH area?