What does a new mom really need?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Now seeing as there are a number of us pregnant dopers out there, several of which are going to be first time parents I felt the need to ask.

What do we really need?

I’ve seen lists galor that tell you you need this and this and this. Now as a going to be single parent I need to know what I will really need for my new arrival. Not just lists that companies put out urging me to buy their products and that I need this specific brand. I’m just looking for a basic list of the stuff I might need, as one doper put it in the care package thread ‘In the middle of the night when I never thought I’d need that’.

Tell me those little things and also a good idea as where I can get it for a decent price. What sort of stuff I can get away with buying second hand in good condition, and what sort of stuff that really should be new. Even stuff that I could probably make would be helpful! I’m fairly decent with my sewing machine and if I can actually make some of it it will be nice. Both knowing that I spent fewer dollars as well as having pride in the fact that my caterpillar is wearing/using something that I actually did.

So doper parents? Tell us first timers the sort of stuff we’re going to need!

2

Slaves … lots of slaves, and massive quantities of chocolate.

3

Well yeah I kinda figured that Zenster but slaves are a little hard to come by around here. Chocolate isn’t though, but I haven’t really wanted chocolate lately… mainly salty stuff. I rediscovered a love for sour cream and onion potato chips!

4

  1. Diapers. Especially the newborn size ones that have the umbilical cutout. We used cloth, but even so we used the newborn disposables until the umbilical stump fell off, because we couldn’t figure out how to fold the cloth diapers in such a way as to not irritate the stump. (For cloth diapers, I vastly prefer the Imse Vimse diaper covers, by the way. They’re a little more pricey than some others, but they’re well worth it. Just do a Google search on “Imse Vimse” and you’ll find a bunch of sites that sell them.)

  2. One of those bulb suction thingies. You won’t need it at first, but when the baby gets his/her first cold, you are definitely going to want it, and you are not going to want to have to run to Rite-Aid at 2 AM to get it.

  3. Some basic baby instructional manual is useful for those times when you’re like, “Wait, what am I supposed to do when it’s bathtime, again?” We liked Dr. Sears’ “The Baby Book”.

  4. Sling or other baby carrying device. Besides the fact that I don’t think it’s natural to carry a baby around in an infant carseat carrier all day, those things get damn heavy. Whatsit Jr. basically lived in his baby sling for the first few months. It was tres useful. Some people also like the Snuglis or Baby Bjorns or what have you. The brand of sling we used was the Maya Wrap (www.mayawrap.com) but there are lots of different kinds available. You can also find patterns if you want to make your own.

I think everything else is basically negotiable. We had a baby swing, and it was nice, but we could have lived without it. Ditto the bouncy seat. We didn’t have a changing table or a bassinet or a stroller, and I didn’t miss any of those things.

Oh, and one last thing, as far as things that really need to be new, the only thing I can think of is the car seat. If you get one second hand, you can’t be sure if it was in an accident or not, and if it was in an accident, you shouldn’t use it. Also, newer car seats are usually safer, as companies incorporate newer and more up to date safety features in them. (Check Consumer Reports before picking one out.)

5

PS: Best wishes with the little bundle of joy.

6

A carseat. This is one item that must be bought new. Even in a minor collision, carseats can suffer damage which may not be obvious, but which can mean they will fail next time around. If you buy used from someone who swears it’s “never been in an accident”, you’re trusting that person with your baby’s life. I shudder at some of the carseats for sale on eBay…

You’ll also need clothes. Assuming you have your own washer and dryer, a bare minimum is six baby undershirts (I like the “onesie” style best) and six stretchy pajamas. If you have to go to the laundromat or have to wait for clothes to line-dry, you’ll need more. If you can buy the clothes used, or borrow/get hand-me-downs from friends and relatives, go for it! Unless you’ve got reason to believe your baby will be small, there’s no point in messing around with the newborn sizes. Most babies grow out of them overnight at about two weeks old.

And diapers. You need diapers. I liked the “Bumpy” covers by Imse Vimse, too, but I wouldn’t recommend the Imse Vimse diapers; totnak could pee right through 'em. If you want to go with cloth, good pre-folds like diaper services use work very well and don’t cost a fortune. And whether you go with cloth or disposables, don’t buy a lot until you know what fits your baby. Some styles and brands fit skinny babies better, and others fit chubby babies.

Other than that, a quilt or soft blanket so baby can play on the floor; someplace for baby to sleep and extra changes of sheets; some way to help you carry baby from here to there; and whatever you need to feed baby. That’s what you really need. Everything else you can fake.

If you’re planning to nurse, keep a bottle of water and maybe some light snacks by your bed; you will get thirsty during those late-night feedings and you may get hungry especially at first. Figure out where your favorite place to sit is and make a “nest” for yourself there - water bottle, snacks, firm pillows, breast pads, a good “light” book or magazine, and maybe the remote for the stereo and/or the TV. You’re going to be spending a lot of time there in the first months, so make it a place you like to be!

7

You will need about two million Onesies. You may think I am joking, but you will find that this is a serious issue!:slight_smile:
Onesies can often be found in thrift shops and at yard sales. Buy lots of them! IMHO, booties are better than socks in the winter, cuz they don’t get lost as easily. I found some for my munchkin (who is now 3) at WalMart. They have gently elasticized ankles, so they don’t fall off, and they are reversible, so if one side gets filthy, and there’s no time to wash, turn them the other way! I would disagree with MsWhatsit about the stroller. I think a sling or a baby carrier until the baby is walking age is fine, if you don’t have huge kids! My youngest one was almost 12 pounds at birth, and by the time she was walking, she weighed about 30 pounds. A stroller was a necessity. You may be able to find one second-hand. Also, when they’re a little older (able to sit up on their own), and umbrella stroller is nice, because it’s so lightweight and easy to fold up. You can probably find one used for about $5.00, but even new, in bargain stores, you can find one for under $20.00 You will need a crib, but bassinets, cradles, etc. are niceties that you can do without. Cribs don’t have to be new, but shouldn’t be more than about 10 years old, as safety standards have changed. A lot of moms I know bought diapers throughout the last trimester of their pregnancies, whenever they found good sales or had good coupons. The White Cloud disposables at WalMart are a lot more reasonably priced than “National Brands”, and work just as well, IMHO. Lots of folks will probably give you receiving blankets, which, IMO, are next to useless. Go to your local thrift stores and look for a couple of nice, soft cotton throws (the kind folks put on their sofas). These are big enough to actually be useful, and very soft, but warm. Have several, as at least one will be in the laundry at any given time.

Car seats should definitely be bought brand new! Shop around, you should be able to find a convertible (one that can be used newborn to 40 pounds) for under $50.00

One piece of unsolicited advice: try not to panic too much; babies are not nearly as fragile as they look, and will survive all kinds of dumb parenting mistakes.:slight_smile:

8

You can pick up for a fraction of the cost at resale shops onsies and newborn clothing - 4 yaers of age. Newborn-1 year clothing usually is in pristine condition. I cannot recommend this method any higher. It has literally enabled me to stay at home with my kids because of the money saved on clothing, toys and books.

I personally could have done without the 900 outfits that every magazine and parenting book says you need to survive. By the second child you realize what you need and don’t need. At home our kids run amok for the first years in sweats. We would put on better things for runs to the store and nicer outfits for family gatherings. but sweats are cheap and if they get ruined by juice stains you don’t feel so bad.

You won’t need shoes until they walk, and even then you won’t need them unless it is outside. Barefeet are best. Besides, its a pain to put shoes on those fat little feet. Those cutesy hats are also something children hate wearing. Sunglasses for baby are also never on for more than ten seconds.

Socks will be the bane of your existance until they move out. They don’t want to wear them when they are infants and you can’t find matching ones when they are older.

If you live in a colder area, the car seat covers are a godsend so that you do not have to put your baby in a coat/snowsuit then in the carseat. It keeps them toasty warm.

My kids lived in their swing and bouncy seats. Our playpen was only used outside. The jumping springer seats that attach to doorways was vastly amusing to us. YMMV

You will eventually need sippy cups. Try to buy the ones that do not need the rubber stoppy thingie to keep the fluids from leaking out. Those things are a pain and the maker ( playskool, I think) is phasing them out. Get the ones that have no contraption like that. By one year you baby can probably handle a sippy cup for day drinking and a bottle at bedtime.

Mylicon Drops is a godsend.

Usually the hospitals have freebie gift bags to hand out to new moms. It is usually something like a Peter Rabbit design insulated bag loaded with samples of formula and coupons for formula. It is entirely an advertising gimmick, which is completely ok, and sometimes there are the nasal aspirators in there and baby nail clippers. ASK THE NURSING STAFF more than likely they will give you some.

Ask a few moms out there what medication they give for their babies for colds. Buy a few things so as when a cold hits your little one, you have something on hand to try rather than running to the doctor or store at some ungodly hour to get soemthing.

One cold releif remedy that we use, the Pediatrican poo pooed it, but it worked very successfully) are those vapor patches. They are a pain to get off of their skin (the reason the doctor poo poohed it) but we just kept on putting the patches on the last one, and eventually after a bath or two it would come off.)

You don’t need to buy the expensive Lamaze teethy rings that interconnect for said child to chew on and connect their toys too. You can buy shower rings at the store and hang them off the crib, stroller, high chair, playpen for them to fool around with. That way when they get lost, it’s a dollar or so, not seven or eight.

Depending on how large your eating area, you may be able to forego a high chair. There are sassy seats that clip on the edge of a table that are great from 4m - toddler. The younger the age you can prop them up with a towel.

That is a bout all I can think of right now. I have to take Master Ujest to a birthday party in a half hour and I still haven’t showered or wrapped the present.
Do you know what you are having or do you want to be surprised? When is your due date? How you feeling?

9

Baby shampoo.

Diapers - also wipes (or rags that you can wash - its doable), Desitin (insert your brand here - it may take a couple of tries, babies seem to react differently to different brands.

Baby Blankets (but not too many)

clothes - although probably less than you think. Babies grow very fast. Anyone on a budget should hit up another new parent with a baby three months older. If you live in a cold climate, the baby bags (without legs) are fantastic for newborns. You’ll want three. One on baby, one in wash, one ready for when baby spits up on the one he is in.

Carseat

Someplace to set baby. The carseat part of the “baby bucket” type carseat works - but the baby bucket car seat gets grown out of fast so if you are on a budget, just get one car seat that lasts until 40 lbs. A swing can be wonderful (borrow one, they only last about six months), and if you can’t find a swing or aren’t using a carseat, one of those baby bouncy chair things. Once baby gets a little older (3-8 months) and exerscaucer is great - borrow one or find one at a garage sale.

Stroller - and umbrella won’t work for the first few months. We weren’t a big stroller family and you could possibly do without.

Bag for stuff - it doesn’t have to be a diaper bag. I just used “the worlds biggest purse” most of the time.

Baby tylonol (I’m misspelling that) drops, baby cold medicine drops. Don’t use these until you talk to your peditrician the first time. Also, thermometer (those ear ones are cool, but don’t work on babies, you need an old fashioned one), nail clippers, suction thingy. The stuff they sell in the “baby first kit”

Bottles, nipples and formula if you are going to bottle feed. A boppy, nipple cream if you are going to breastfeed (and a pump and bottles and nipples if you are going to breastfeed and not going to be around for every feeding). If you are going to breastfeed, a good book on breastfeeding. If it comes naturally to you, you won’t need it. But (trust me on this) it doesn’t always happen easily and you’ll want your copy of “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding” handy if it doesn’t.

Your mother, mother in law, husband, a good friend. As many of these as possible.

Things I didn’t use:

A baby bath. Sponge bath in the sink or on a towel in the tub worked better. We had one. Didn’t use it.

Sling. I loved this idea and purchased or borrowed many. But I never felt comfortable with it - I needed my hands on baby.

Baby toys.

Crib stuff. You need a crib sheet. You do not want crib blankets, bumpers pillows, etc. Increases the risk of sids. My son almost never used his crib anyway.

Something to keep in mind - unless you are very rural, everything you NEED can be gotten at Target or Walmart in about two minutes. And a hundred years ago, most babies were raised off of only breast and diapers.

10

With my first baby, I had all sorts of goodies…onesies, bottles and bottle paraphanalia galore, blankies of every type, booties, books, musical thingies, you name it.
By Baby #4, I think I had it refined to: a bunch of stretchy sleepers, a couple bags of diapers (I used disposables), and some bottles. That was about it. Of course, my last one was my first girl, so there were some girly things that had to be purchased just for kicks.
You’ve gotten some great ideas. I’d add: a VCR, some popcorn or whatever you like to snack on, and a good supply of movies that you love. My favorite memories of the just-home-from-hospital stage are of kicking back with my baby on my lap, bottles and snacks close at hand, and watching The Breakfast Club over and over.
Most important thing: Get enough sleep, or at least as much as you possibly can. Fatigue will lead to depression and slower healing, and you won’t enjoy your time with baby like you deserve to.
Enjoy, and good luck. I’ll be thinking of you.
Best,
karol

11

I’ll repeat what I said in the care package thread:

Cheap dishtowels. (Someone else mentioned cloth diapers from Wal-Mart. They’re white and can be found in the baby section and you’ll know it’s them when you look at them and go “anyone who would use these as diapers wants to have ruined furniture.” They’re really thin.)

You need these laying around the house for the times that the baby throws up. Keep one on your shoulder especially. You really can’t have too many of these. The cheaper the better, because there are times where the kid will produce something so foul that you’re afraid to put the poor dishtowel in the washing machine. No problem, just throw it away. :slight_smile:

I also want to second the poster who said she didn’t use a baby bath. The sink works much better.

If you buy a crib be aware you may not use it for a while. Lots of babies end up sleeping in a box or carseat bucket thingy for a while because they’re just too little for that big huge crib. Swings are great as “beds” too but a really tiny squirt might be afraid of the swing: we put mine in her swing at 3 weeks and she was scared, but at 6 weeks she found it to be neato.

12

I’m gonna disagree about the stroller thing. A stroller is a necessity. As the baby gets older, he’ll get heavier, and carrying that kind of load can cause physical problems for you. I’ve got problems with my neck and pinched nerves in my shoulders from carrying Aaron.

Also, not every baby fits comfortably in a sling. Aaron, being tall and skinny, outgrew the first sling at about four months and never fit in a backpack-type carrier at all. I now have one large stroller for heavy-duty use and two umbrella strollers that I keep in each car for daily use. They’re lifesavers for short errands like the post office or bank, and they can work as emergency seating in a pinch.

Robin

13

OMG Shirley… we live on vapo patches when the munchkin is stuffy! Much easier than trying to medicate her with decongestant when she’s just stuffy.

I also like the vapo bath (which you can get generic at CVS much cheaper than the name brand)

Consignment shops are wonderful when it comes to clothes/toys/equipment. I get so much there.

We didn’t use a lot of onesies until the munchkin outgrew her gowns. I much preferred the gown with the elastic bottom for when she was 0-6 months… we did a lot more changing at that point and she wasn’t so mobile that it was an issue… no snaps at 2 am was a plus for me!

Definitely spring for a decent car seat. I think pretty much everything else is fine used. I got my changing table for $10 at a yard sale. We still use it as it makes a great shelf for awkward toys.

For sippies when you get there I really like the sippies that are marketed as disposable but run fine through the dishwasher. You can get them at walmart for cheap. I wish I could find a link since I can’t remember the name of who makes them.

Get a suction bubble without a safety tip! The safety tips make the ends so big you can’t actually reach what you need to suction!

Even if you go the disposable diaper route get some cloth diapers… they are great all purpose baby bodily fluid cleaner uppers!

Gas relief drops! Walmart and CVS make generic versions … called simethocone drops.

White cloud are the ones we use too Norinew :slight_smile: I found huggies shedded stuff onto her bum and pampers made her always smell like pee! (we got a wide variety of diapers at my shower)

Our sink did not work well for bathtime as it is a double sink so each side is pretty small. I really like the inflatable tubs that go in your bathtub and are about $15 at walmart. The munchkin used hers until she was a little over a year old.

We never really used our high chair… Munchkin girl hated baby food and insisted on what we ate. I tended to feed her while she sat in her exersaucer and then eventually moved her to a booster when she got too big for the saucer. She found the booster insulting and decided she’d rather kneel and eat. shrug

She also refused to wear hats or sunglasses. Socks and shoes were the first things she learned to take off. My MIL still tries to keep her dressed and socked. turn your back and she’s nakie again! I only stress clothes when we’re going bye bye. And like Shirley said they don’t need shoes until they are walking outside. Kids actually learn to walk better barefoot. I’ve only had to explain that 400 times to the well meaning grandparents.

You also need someone to tell you they’ve been wherever you are. They’ve been hysterical over nothing at 2:00 am or they’ve sat with a sick baby while the poor thing vomited all over them and thought ‘I’m just not cut out for this’ or they’ve called every person they know just to share some amazing thing that baby did.

Anything that doesn’t make sense in my post… not uncommon at all :slight_smile: Feel free to email me!

14

Sleep, mostly.

Baby WILL need baby shampoo and body wash, or a very mild soap. Someone said that she didn’t feel comfortable with a baby sling…I found that the sling supported most of Lisa’s weight, while I kept an arm around her for safety. A sling helped conserve my energy. As everyone else has said, onesies and stretch sleepers are good. Most of the time you’re not going to want to dress Baby up in something fancy.

I used a diaper service for the first year, and I heartily recommend it to any new parent. You might still want disposables for outings and such, but cloth diapers are much nicer on a baby’s skin, I think.

15

Ha! Sleep is good. No joke, take every opportunity for a nap or snooze that you can. Don’t bother about housework or whatever until you have that kid on a schedule. At first especially, when the baby sleeps, you sleep.

Everyone else has pretty much covered it, may I just ask, what are “onesies”? Are they those little undershirts with the bottoms?

16

yup onesies are the tshirts that snap at the crotch :slight_smile:

17

For the first couple weeks you can get away with a few (7 is a good number) sleepers, a couple onsies and diapers. Don’t get a HUGE amount of newborn ones. My sons were only able to wear them a week or so because they were so big. DO NOT buy a bunch of outfits at first. They outgrow them so fast you’ll have brand new never worn stuff that will make really good gifts for your friends baby shower. A digital camera IMHO is a MUST from the day of birth on. Oh and as has been said already… SLEEP as much as you can. You’ll NEED it!!

Mommy of 7 month old and 4 year old boys

18

I loved reading everyone’s suggestions - that sling you mentioned, MsWhatsit, looks really cool!

I’m pregnant too & thought I’d mention we’ve found a lot of great stuff at the resale shops and garage sales - including safety gates! Those are so expensive new, but people sell them used all the time.

19

Oh yes, regarding socks: When you get them, get ten pairs of identical socks. Don’t think, “Oh, I want two blue pair to match the blue outfits, and two red pair to match the red outfits…” Get ten identical pairs of socks. Then when you’re hunting desperately through the baby’s dresser in the morning trying to find a matching pair, it doesn’t matter. Any two socks you find will match. And I recommend buying ten pairs not because the baby actually needs that many socks, but because you will lose them faster than you ever thought possible, and buying ten gives you a nice safety margin before having to go out and buy more.

And I concur, they don’t really need shoes until they start to walk, and then only to protect their feet. During winter, when Whatsit Jr. needed something on his feet to protect them from cold, we got a nifty pair of shoes called “Robeez” (do a Google search), which are soft moccasin-like shoes. They have the dual benefit of not constricting the foot in any way, and also of being constructed in such a way that the baby has a very difficult time kicking or stripping them off. I found this very useful after two months of getting “The Look” from other shoppers at the grocery store when I had a barefoot baby in February, because Whatsit Jr. kept kicking his #*$()# shoes and socks off and I could never find them.

As far as growing out of a sling, with the particular type of sling we used, we just used different types of carries as Zeke grew older and bigger. (We switched from the kangaroo carry to the hip carry, for example.) He’s >99th percentile for height, so we too have a tall, skinny baby. Once he hit around 25-30 pounds or so, it started to become a strain on my shoulder, but before then, I found that the sling distributed his weight fairly well. If I weren’t pregnant, I’d still carry him around in it at the age of 19 months, as he fits into it just fine.

Although, I will agree that one of those cheapo umbrella strollers is nice to have around when your baby is a lot bigger, just as a different option to have. What I was referring to earlier when I said we didn’t have a stroller and didn’t miss it, was one of those big SUV-style infant strollers. In my opinion, those things are too expensive and too space-consuming to be worth having around, especially if you do have a sling or Snugli or something to use – newborns just aren’t that heavy.

20

If you’re going to use bottles at all, I would suggest not buying a bunch of them, especially of one brand, until you’ve had a chance to try one out on the baby.

I have a friend who loved the Avent bottles, but my boy just couldn’t get the hang of them. I had registered for the Avent, so now I have a whole cabinet full, practically unused. All we use now are the Gerber (I think the cheapest ones they sell) and they work great for him. Another of my friends could only get the Playtex Ventaires to work for her baby. If you have a friend with some extra bottles, ask to try some different brands out before you buy anything.

I second the suggestion of While Cloud diapers. Much cheaper than most brands and they work perfectly. Also, I haven’t tried them yet, but my friend with a 5 month old suggests CVS storebrand baby wipes. She says they’re cheap and very soft.

(By the way, I am so happy that so many people on the SDMB are having or have just had babies! I’m slowly adjusting with my six week old and have found all these baby suggestion threads to be extremely helpful)