So, TheMrs & I have a littlun set to start keeping us up nights on or around April 4.
I see some helpful pieces out there about the infant / toddler stuff that’s really just kind of a scam… and also some local parentals have shared some insights incl. don’t get wipe warmers, don’t get lots of toys for a newborn (a rattle or two should do)…
Anything else that you feel is unnecessary?
I like the wipes warmer! I’m not saying that I grab a wipe for myself before entering the bathroom, but I’m not saying I don’t…
For a newborn, even a rattle isn’t needed. They don’t really do much, including play with toys.
Get a few newborn outfits, but no more. Our first outgrew these in about ten days. You need a few because there will be several wardrobe changes a day, but the outfits will almost certainly be retired within a month or so.
Get a few pacifiers of different shapes. There will be a favorite, and then get more of this kind, which will get lost under the couch regularly.
So much depends on your kid and your lifestyle and your priorities. Someone will come in here and say don’t spend big bucks on a stroller–they never used theirs. We put 30 miles a week on ours for years. I will tell you don’t worry about a co-sleeper or bassenet, go straight to the crib, but someone else will say their co-sleeper saved their life.
Congrats! I hope all goes well with the birth and mom and baby are healthy.
Wipe warmers and a lot of toys are definitely wastes of money, IMO. Depending on your opinions, pacifiers are too. Neither of my kids used them, but they did cry a lot, which people find annoying and thus feel the need to “plug them up” 
There are any number of cutesy toys and snuggly things you can buy for babies, but our kids never really paid them any attention. They greatly prefer conversation, looking into your eyes, and shiny or noisy things; the things that adults find aesthetically pleasing seem to bore them.
Unfortunately, some of the bigger purchases depend on the personality of your little person. For my first kid, we used a baby swing until the motor broke. He was colicky and wouldn’t sleep unless he was moving, and it was a lifesaver. With my daughter, never needed it. However, with my daughter we used a bassinet, which we never did with my son. Never used a stroller, and we have a really swank one too.
For toys our kids greatly enjoyed playing with large fruits, bowls, brightly colored cloth, crap like that. Vary the colors and sounds and they’re cool. Save the money you’d spend on toys to buy a really good car seat.
Here are the key things we’ve used with both kids:
[ul]
[li]BOOKS. You can’t really get enough. You’ll get sick of reading them fast; stock up.[/li][li]Blankets, puke rags, diapers, washcloths, etc. Babies are leaky.[/li][li]Easy clothes. Try to avoid rows of buttons; you’ll thank me later :)[/li][/ul]
One last thing, which will inevitably be controversial: Baltic amber necklaces. I think it’s a bunch of woo. :dubious:
You probably don’t need more than one “type” of stroller, unless you’re a runner (plus, infants can’t sit in running strollers until they’re 6 months anyway). We were lucky enough to have lots of hand-me-downs, so we had a travel system stroller, an umbrella stroller, a running stroller and a sit and stand stroller. We used the travel system maybe 5 times total, umbrella stroller a couple of times, the running stroller very frequently and the sit and stand once. Thank god we didn’t have to pay for them.
Depending upon how light you like to travel or how prone your infant is to blowouts, a special diaper bag is probably unnecessary, especially if you carry a purse. Just keep a plastic bag in there full of: a. extra diapers, b. a baggie of wipes, c. a change of clothes for the baby and d. another plastic bag (to put poopy diapers and/or clothes in).
A pack & play, unless you don’t have a crib. We bought one and used it once. Terrible waste. What we DID use a lot was a bouncinette - honestly, both my kids’ biggest issue was snot. Babies seem to make an adult-like quantity of snot despite having baby noses. They slept much better in the bouncinette than they ever did a crib or pack & play or co-sleeper.
Infant toys. Jeez - just saw you said that. Like you said, having a few is good (maybe some cloth books, one of those floor mats for tummy time, etc.), but honestly, tiny babies don’t do much other than look at things. I used to hang a bright towel up and my daughter would just stare at it in utter fascination. Once they could walk, they were entertained for hours when I’d put two pots out on the porch (one full of water, one empty) with a ladle on the porch.
A baby food maker. They’re essentially tiny blenders - just use your regular blender or even a garlic press if you want to make baby food. If you want recipes, you can find them online, no book required.
A toddler bed. Both of our kids have been on a full-sized mattress since they were 12 months old. They both would thrash around so much they’d slam into the side of a crib; we were petrified they’d fall out of a toddler bed and it turns out we were right (it took about an hour for my son to wind up on the floor when we let him take a nap in one of my friend’s kid’s toddler beds). Plus, if you have a full-sized bed, you can collapse next to them if they wake up with a nightmare and need a parent nearby for a while, or during a storm when they just want someone to be close to.
Nm
I’d never even heard of a wipe warmer…
The main thing I was talked out of was my countries equivalent of a Diaper Genie. Yeah, as long as you tie the individual disposal bags closed and are out at the bin once a day, you don’t really need that gadget.
If you are paying for stuff, get the minimum and go from there as you find gaps.
But a lot will likely come off your registry, in which case it’s all kind of a shot in the dark which things you’ll never use and which will be a lifesaver. There is a good chance you’ll end up drowning in baby stuff.
I rarely used the wipes warmer, infant bathtub, portable bassinet, baby bathrobes, any of my newborn clothes or diapers, diaper genie, changing table and boppy.
I definitely used the carseat, a good stroller, cheap IKEA crib, swing, bouncy chair, all my pumping supplies, diaper bag and changing pads, books, bottle supplies, blankets, towels, and bath pitcher.
You can wait on toys, high chairs, and shoes. Don’t buy clothes if you know other people with kids. You will receive more than you could ever use.
See, **MandaJO **is right. Almost every person I know with kids (and I know a ton of them) has relied heavily on their pack 'n play. Most people I know used the changing table insert as a changing table in the living room until the kid got too old for it. Then once the baby became mobile, they used it for a safe spot to drop the kid when the parents went to the bathroom. And for naptime. My 3yo niece still takes her nap in one at the sitters. And since they are mobile everyone uses them for when they go on vacation.
So don’t dismiss pack 'n play! YOU might need one!
I run a really successful Facebook group that is local people buying & selling kid stuff. Almost everything sells when it’s posted, from wipe warmers to potty seats. Everybody needs something.
My advice is not to consider what you do or don’t need. Consider what you are willing to buy second-hand and buy it second-hand. Most things, IMHO, are perfectly fine second-hand. Even toddler underwear (because they grow out of it quickly). And a lot of people get stuff as gifts for their kids and are willing to sell it cheap. Or they bought it second-hand and are welling to sell it cheap. Or they just need some ROOM and they are willing to sell it cheap. Most of our stuff is sold for 50-80% off the retail price.
Get to know the second-hand kids stuff market in your area. That is what will save you the big bucks!! (Facebook groups like mine are all over the place. Start looking on Facebook for one near you!)
All I’ll add is that baby detergents are unneeded, unless your kid has an allergy to them. Any of the “Free and Clear” style laundry detergents work fine, and in our experience, Tide gets out more of the barf and poop than any other. And for dishes, the “Baby” detergents are even more ridiculous- they’re the same ingredients, but just scented differently.
Pack 'N Plays are great if you travel; they’re essentially a portable baby bed. We haven’t used ours as a play area much for either kid, but it’s great for traveling.
And here’s a hearty second to the idea of getting familiar with the resale market in your area. In NE Dallas (Lake Highlands), there are several quarterly consignment sales, several consignment/resale shops, and most fruitful of all, a moms group on Facebook where people sell stuff for a song all the time. Like huge Little Tikes toys for $20 and the like, or 20 onesies for $3 type cheap.
This was pretty much our experience plus I’ll be another vote in favor of the pack & play. We also had some expensive babycam set up that we almost never used because, especially for the first months, the baby was usually sleeping in the same room as us or one room over. Your experience may vary based on the size and layout of your house.
I’d never fit. 
We traveled mostly internationally when my son was young enough for a crib, so that makes me a little biased. When we went to India, cribs were exceedingly rare and the beds crazy firm, so most families (infants included) just sleep together. I got used to doing that and found the pack & play unnecessary in our other travels (which were mostly by plane) unless someone with a baby was visiting. But everyone’s mileage may vary.
I second the resale shops. And Goodwill - we give tons of baby stuff to good will and purchase a lot of our kids’ clothing there. Some people don’t really like secondhand clothing, but thinking about how hard my son and daughter are on their clothes, it doesn’t make sense to buy new until they’re old enough they’re not climbing trees outside and tearing up their clothes quite so much. Though I guess they won’t be doing that as babies.
Here you go: These Are The Items Parents Say You Do And Don’t Need For A Baby.
My work here is done.
~Wednesday, still trying to figure out what stuff my kids need/don’t need after 11 years of parenting.
No wipe warmers. Repeat. No wipe warmers. But you were already told that.
One other thing you probably don’t need:
Strangers’ advice on whether to breastfeed, sleep train or co-sleep. In fact, you might just read the facts, then avoid parenting books on childrearing, too, with the exception of good references for illnesses. Seriously, all the reading I’ve done over the years has done little for me other than to make me feel terribly guilty about most decisions I’ve made.
Agreed on no wipe warmers, or diaper genie. You don’t need a lot of specialized storage things – someone gave me a diaper caddy, like in case I found the packages of diapers to look unattractive. Someone gave me a “seat cover” – a cloth thing that you can bring to restaurants to put over their high chairs, in case you don’t feel they are sanitary. I could not imagine lugging this thing around.
I liked the pack-n-play, but I used it as a crib and a bassinet. I would definitely not bother with all three.
A lot depends on the size/layout of your house. We have a very small house, so we never used the sound monitor – I could actually hear from the next room. Likewise, I have heard that some people find it really helpful to have a changing area upstairs and downstairs … but we don’t have an upstairs. We used our infant plastic bathing tub quite a bit … mostly because our sink is very old and oddly shaped, so it wasn’t helpful for bathing the baby at all, but if we had a different kind of sink, we would have ditched the bathing tub.
Advice.
=d&r=
Changing table. Just get a few waterproof pads, keep diapers and wipes in a few different rooms if you have a 2 story or just large house, and change the baby on the floor/bed/etc. I used a changing pad - the contoured ones meant to go on changing tables - inside a drawer under the crib.
Newborn clothes, unless you have a preemie or very small baby. A few outfits are cute, but mostly go with 0-3 months to start. They grow so fast. Also, “nice” clothes, unless there is some sort of infant formal occasion. Onesies, stretchy pants, comfy stuff. These clothes will get changed all the time, and you want to be able to peel it off and toss it in the wash without worrying about it. No cashmere baby sweaters 
Basically the only things you NEED are a food source, a safe place to sleep, clothes, and a car seat if you drive. Obviously, things like a stroller, baby carrier, a couple toys, books are very, very nice to have. Things like a swing are useful but not necessity, depending on the baby (useless for some, almost a lifesaver for others). I couldn’t have nursed without a nursing pillow, but not everyone needs one, that depends on body type.
More blankets, fewer clothes.
Every family is different. Every baby is different. Nobody can tell you what you will think is a lifesaver, and what you’ll put in a garage sale unopened.
Having said that… here’s what we actually used.
Bedding: a crib with a mattress, a waterproof mattress cover, three fitted sheets, and sleep sacks for the baby. And one quilt to keep her warm in her bouncy seat. No bumpers, positioners, stuffed animals, etc.
A “travel system” with car seat base, stroller base, and bucket carrier that snapped into both.
Half a dozen outfits, assuming you do a load of “baby laundry” every 1-2 days.
Half a dozen burp cloths. She wasn’t much of a spitter.
Diapers, wipes, a small trash can with a foot-pedal lid, and lots of plastic grocery sacks. Diapers go out once a day, at bedtime.
Pacifiers–as noted, have several shapes on hand.
A large absorbent pad. I slept on it before she was born, in case my water broke in the night. After she was born, it was her base for Naked Baby Time, which inevitably became Peeing On Herself time.
Baby wash, baby washcloths, and a small baby bathtub. Newborns are too floppy and slippery to bath in the big tub. A couple of baby towels (they have a softer nap than adult towels).
A fan, to provide white noise in her room. Made us less likely to wake her up. Also: blackout curtains in her room. She didn’t nap at all until we got them.
And lastly, the thing about which I have the strongest opinions, due to my own gruesome experience: a package of half a dozen ready-feed bottles of formula, no matter HOW virtuous your wife feels about breastfeeding. La Leche League out to be sued out of existence; they are definitely lying to you. Have some formula ready so you don’t have to feel the way I felt, that morning at 3am, when I had nothing to give my hungry newborn.