Atticus Finch is probably the best example of which I can think. Even if he is a fictional character, it’d be hard to go wrong using him as one’s template.
You may have something there! Atticus Finch (as played by Gregory Peck) is exactly who comes to mind when I think of the ideal man.
- JB
I just can’t resist adding to this:
Scylla mentioned something to the effect of because men are physically stronger they are a threat to women, but the reverse is really true. Actually statistics indicate that women do make up a significant proportion of intimate homicides (25-50% depended upon year, US Dept Justice, 2000). And there is some recent evidence (Steinmetz, I think, I oughta go look it up) to suggest they account for as much physical damage in males as males do in females. AND there is ALSO evidence (Straus and Gelles, 1986) that women are doing this when they get angry, not because of self-defense. Why, may you ask? Because women are more likely to use weapons of various sorts or to throw things (broken glass against the head often gets in the eye) and men seldom report domestic violence when it happens to them. Now this research is still very controversial of course, but I thought I would throw it out there for fun.
Outies.
No periods.
heh. Last time a woman railed off a long list of why it was sooo easy to be a guy to me, I responded with, “Okay, here’s the deal: no more periods, no more worrying about your weight, no more makeup, no more pantyhose, none of it. But you go bald at 30. Deal?”
She didn’t take the offer. I haven’t met a woman yet who would.
What does it mean to be a man? I dunno, but I just watched Fight Club, and I have a few ideas…
I always think it’s stupid to talk about acting like a man. It’s a meaningless statement. I’m a man, and I’m acting like myself. Therefore, I’m acting like a man, even if I’m the feyest creature this side of Amherst Street.
Johnny Angel
Your point is?
One cannot define anything as complex as ‘what does it mean to be A Man’ without being reductive and making generalizing assumptions. I find that the definitions I supplied are generally applicable while not all encompassing (as nothing can ever be).
What does it take to be a man?
What does it take to see
It’s all heart and soul
A gentle hand?
So easy to want and so hard to give
How can you be a man
'Till you see beyond the life you live?
Oh, what does it take to be a man?
We can be blind, but a man tries to see
It takes tenderness
For a man to be what he can be
And what does it mean
If you’re weak or you’re strong?
A gentle feeling
Can make it right or make it wrong
What does it take to be a man?
The will to give and not receive
The strength to say what you believe
The heart to feel what others feel inside
To see what they can see
…
A man is something that’s real
It’s not what you are
It’s what you can feel
It can’t be too late
To look through the hate and see
I know that’s what a man can be
-Boston, “To Be a Man”, Third Stage
-VM
CheapBastid wrote:
There are different degrees of reduction, and reduction is really only fallacious to the extent that relevant cases are not accounted for. Even an unadventurous generalization like, “Men have a Y chromosome, and women don’t” runs into counter-examples. But to take pie-in-the-sky metaphysical notions like “creative/destructive energy” and “Judgemental/Editorial energy” and try to squeeze them into a pair of pants and a skirt, you’re doing a hell of a lot more than making generalizations.
Johnny Angel wrote:
Once again, to define using generalizations one must necessarily generalize. While I can appreciate your need to account for all cases that you feel are relevant (of which I have yet to see), it is not relevant to my specific generalization or the act of generalizing.
I simply find that (in general) in my experience (generally) my definition applies.
=)
JuneBeetle wrote:
I would agree with this more than any other response. Fair enough men don’t have periods etc, however this is not a virtue of man but a burden of women. Would I be reasonable in saying that generally speaking, women care much more about how they are perceived?
Why is it that the majority of the replies given so far seem to define men somehow in terms relational to women, or to some facet of gender relationships? Doesn’t anyone think it’s possible to define a man (or for that matter, a woman) without making any reference to the opposite sex? When defined like this, it really makes men seem one-sided, and I find that a little disturbing (I certainly don’t think of myself as one-sided).
My own definition: a Man has strength, not physical, but rather moral and intellectual. By intellectual strength I don’t mean intelligence as much as strength of conviction, willpower, a willingness to support a cause and put forth all his resources to aid that cause. Moral strength is the ability to recognize right from wrong, and do what is right, even if it is more difficult.
(Please note that I’m in no way saying that women can’t have the above attributes. Rather, what I said above is what makes up a Man.)
One other thing:
Actually, last time I checked the only men who live up to “Ken-doll” standards are eunuchs. 
[serious reply warning]
A real man would not concern himself with silly-ass questions such as whether he is or is not a “real man”. He would just be. Would just be self. Him self, insofar as he is male. Whatever difference that makes, it would have made by that time. End of story.
[/serious reply warning]
CheapBastid wrote:
You’re not just generalizing, you’re abstracting the generalities clear into outer space. You’re not only commiting hasty generalization, you’re committing hasty metaphysics. There is no “masculine energy” or “feminime energy” – not so’s you can claim to have observed it. You have bifurcated and sublimated clean out of God’s blue sky in one breath before you’ve even been cleared for take off. Let’s keep this discussion on Earth, because that’s where all the men and women in question live.
Who is Atticus Finch?
Johnny Angel:
Do you have anything of value to contribute to the OP, or are you instead determined to dissect my use of language.
I’m not proposing that there is a magical flow of masculine/feminine energy inside folks, I was simply using language to describe activity and thought process as I’ve observed it.
I did not mean to offended your delicate feminine sensibility.
=)
Not your language, your metaphysics.
So, why say energy when masculinity and femininity already cover what you’re talking about?
Does this line work with the chicks?
As for the OP, I don’t think there are any differences anymore. Society doesn’t require them (at least, not the society I move in.)
I have more of a traditionally masculine personality than my husband does, and he’s more feminine. I play soccer, he cringes when I watch it on TV. I own the power tools, he owns the stuffed animals (in a manner of speaking). I make quick decisions and stick to them. He is paralyzed by indecision. I’m concerned for our safety, he walks around downtown LA with his wallet hanging out of his back pocket. He lives a life of the mind, and I’m into physical labour. I get along better with men than women, and he gets along better with women than men. We both cook and clean.
Does it matter? Not in the least. We balance each other out nicely, in my opinion. I’ve noticed this pattern amongst many of my male friends and their SO’s. Maybe it’s all the estrogen that’s been dumped into the water supply since the mid-60’s.
He is the father of Jeb and Scout. He is courageous. He is an expert criminal lawyer. He fights racism. He is a crack shot. Plus some other stuff I’ve forgotten, like being a generally sweet father who really cares about his young’ns.
The most vivid scene for me is when he is explaining to Scout (his young daughter … maybe 8 or 10 years old?) why folks are calling him a “nigger-lover”. He compares it to calling somebody a “snot-nose”: it’s a word people use to hurt others when they are too ignorant and hateful to say anything else. In doing so, he both shows her the guts of racism, and takes the venom out of the racial stings the family is subject. What a great father. Plus I like Gregory Peck.
Are you saying you have received awards for your testy’s?
Ba Dum Dum!