When I was younger, I used to occasionally pick up my sister’s old copy of Cosmo to see if there were more pictures of the cover girl on the inside. Instead, there were incredibly long articles about how to drive your man wild with desire. I can tell you in just a few words:[ul]How to drive a man wild with desire: Get into bed with him.
Advanced technique: Undress first.
Very advanced technique: Leave the lights on.[/ul]Women’s advice to women about men seems to be about as useful as men’s advice to men about women (at best, useless). What I propose is that both men and women ask questions in this thread about the opposite sex. The only rule is that the question should be answered by a member of that opposite sex.
I apologize to the homosexual contingent for this blatantly heterosexual focus. Please bear in mind that there appears to be a lot less confusion amongst the homosexual community regarding how to attract, please, and communicate with one’s partner than there is among the heterosexual crowd.
LOL @ Dolores… Good question. As a man… I can honestly say that I don’t know. I just like to be a leader and supporter when I can. It makes me feel good. My SO let’s me get away with feeling like the boss, even tho’ she knows she’s whipped me like a little bitch. It makes me happy. Just the protector mentality that the Y-chrome brings I guess.
I want to know why a man hasn’t answered this one? Are you struggling to come up with an answer? Do you know, deep down inside, that you don’t control jack shit… we just let you think you do? C’mon guys… we’re waiting.
Oh yeah… My question. How come if I celebrate my manhood by thinking that I have something special to offer this world because I am a man, I’m a chauvinist. However, if a woman does it, she’s liberated and independent and standing up for herself?
I guess that sounds a little jaded. I meant no offense by that comment. Just something that bothers me.
I suppose sociall y the majority of us where brought up under the beilef that the opposite sex see a dominant man as being powerful, and hence more likely to provide quality sperm.
hell, that just my WAG.
Ladies, why the hell don’t you just tell us what you would like outstraight, instead of hinting at it, or being moody until we have to ask.
and then respond, “You should know what the problem is”
Do men converse with other men about their girlfriends / relationships? If so, what kinds of things do they say?
Why do many guys feel obligated to make a big production out of proposing (and to have picked out the ring already)? And why do they always pick a diamond? Wouldn’t it be better to make sure your girlfriend likes diamonds before you do anything rash?
If a woman you were dating offered fairly early in the relationship (say third date) to split the check or pay for both of you, how would you take it? Would you be relieved or insulted? Would you think she was trying to call it quits?
Are female drinking buddies also considered potential dating material, or are the categories totally separate in your minds?
I’ll give you my thoughts on this… but I don’t know if any other women agree with this or not. I think that a “real” man doesn’t have to act like an arrogant, my shit don’t stink, fool in order for women to see him as something special. He doesn’t have to have the tough kick ass now and take names later attitude to prove to a woman that he is strong and independant and that he isn’t going to take shit from anyone. Men seem to think that they have to always protect “their woman” like we’re not strong enough to stand up for ourselves. And, FWIW, usually a woman is considered a bitch if she is assertive in any way and/or stands up for herself and takes no shit. We’re expected to always play the “damsel in distress” whenever a man is around. Just my $.02.
Every chance we get, and we discuss everything from what you smell like to more “carnal” knowledge.
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We’re dedicating our life to you, and I gave my x-wife a Saphire with two diamonds next to it. Saphire’s are her favorite. See… We listen.
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I wouldn’t personally think anything of it. My SO pays for almost half of everything, and I’ve never thought twice about it.
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My x-wife was a former drinking buddy. That may or may not have been a problem. However, anything with breasts, a hole, and a heartbeat is potentially date-able for the hetero male populous. I don’t mean to be crass, but it’s true.
Okay, Simetra, I’ll answer. Your experience in this regard is dictated by the specific females who have given you this reaction. Some women have issues of their own, ranging from raging insecurity to huge ball-busting ego (I’ve known them both and everyone in between), that make it impossible for them to be rational about such things. Healthy women, who enjoy the healthy maleness of their counterparts, are invigorated and pleased when you have something special to offer as a man. Even when women have mystified talks between themselves about curiously male behavior, it is with an absolute tone of real affection and love, assuming that the relationship is a loving and respectful one. Strong women love men and their healthy masculinity, even with the quirks that may make them sometimes baffling or frustrating. Not to imply that males can’t be truly maddening (and of course females can too), but hell, truth is that most of your little “things” just endear you to us all the more, even as we roll our eyes. The tradeoff is more than worth the price.
Of course, if “something special” means thinking that you’re innately superior, or if “celebrating your manhood” means dominating your partner or groping girls because you think it’s your entitlement, then you have no claim.
But the rest of what you said, Cygnus, is very warming to hear. My SO loves me for me. And says, that because I’m a man, she get’s to feel more like a woman. I feel the same way vice-versa.
Girls and boys are socialized separately (watch the dynamics of an elementary school playground sometime), and learn to communicate in different ways. Girls learn to phrase requests as hints or suggestions – demanding something flatly will result in immediate and complete social ostracism. By the time we become adults, we have been socialized to think a suggestion IS a straightforward request, and are greatly surprised when men have trouble interpreting it that way.
In other words: What women consider direct, men consider obscure. What men consider direct, women consider rude.
Note that similar miscommunications occur when people from different countries try to communicate with one another. Think of women as Japanese and men as German, and you’ll get the general idea.
Oh, and to Rachelle. That’s not what I meant. But I see your point and I don’t think I’ve ever tried to be macho to get a girl. My SO fell in love with me for just being the guy that I am.
I have a question for the teeming men out there. Living in the South as I do, it seems that the idea of a man helping his SO with the housework is a big NO NO. My husband catches hell all the time because he helps me with the housework, without any nagging or asking for help from me. His attitude is that we both mess up the house, we should both clean it.
I would like to know just how men feel on this issue now that we’re in the, well, 00’s. Do most feel that women should do the housework, or do they try to help out?
Why does it seem most men have a problem with their penis size? Every single guy I’ve ever been with has complained of being too small. Why don’t you guys realize that not every woman wants a pecker the size of a baseball bat?
I also live in the South, and I think there is an older set of rules at work here. My husband and I pretty much do equal housework. Brad would, however, be eternally embarassed if his family found out he did the vaccuming (sp?) I also have a question to ask. My husband DOES NOT want me to do yard work in the front yard. He had his dad come over to mow the front lawn when he was in the hospital because he was too embarrased for the neighbors to see me out there mowing. This is especially true now that I am pregnant. Is this normal?
