Some people recall Trump branded steaks, vodka and university. I don’t personally - I have seen Trump-branded hotels, bars and neckties.
Apparently, around 2006 Trump also released a cologne called The Fragrance. News to me - until today.
What I am asking you to do is guess what this smelled like. Hair dye and chutzpah? Hot wax and butter? Special sauce? Only you can answer this important question.
To clarify, we are talking about the hypothetical The Fragrance. Not any actual person living or dead. Does Trump use The Fragrance? Doubtful. He doesn’t drink The Vodka.
He probably smells just like what you would expect … the malodorous putrescence of a monkey that has spent its entire life covered in its own shit, with heady musty overtones suggestive of a major infestation of mange.
At least two weeks of Unwashed Sweaty Gooch.
I would imagine that he smells like cologne covering up soiled diapers.
More likely he smells like any other man of his years, there is a certain “old person smell” that he might be exhibiting now, along with traces of hamburger grease and ketchup.
What a horrible thought experiment.
It’s a pungent mix of French fry grease, Aquanet hairspray, and the dried tears of a loveless childhood.
(Whereas Bernie Sanders is a combo of black coffee, werther’s original candies, and aqua velva)
Lol! Werthers.
Sweaty ass and Old Spice.
A wet Dachshund fart, after Doxie ate a hearty breakfast of moldy cheese and overcooked cabbage.
Lectric-Shave, fried onions, and Certs.
Well, in Britain, “trump” is the act of expelling digestive gasses ostentatious from the posterior orifice. So, like that.
Old spice, flatulence and unwashed semen-stained shorts.
Broken promises and desperation?
Teen Spirit.
Ketchup?
A denial
A denial
A denial
A denial
(definitely not my libido)
I’ve been watching the Dahmer series on Neflix. You know when his next door neighbor lady can smell the odor coming from Jeff’s apartment through the vents? I imagine it’s something like that.
Either that or the cafeteria at work, when they have to clean the grease trap once a year and this god-awful smell permeates the halls for the day? I imagine that’s what the Whitehouse smelled like for four years.
Mendacity. “There ain’t nothin’ more powerful than the odor of mendacity…You can smell it. It smells like death.” -Big Daddy in Tennessee Williams Cat on a Hot Tin Roof "