Since I don’t give a whit what either parent thinks I’m lacking, I’ll go with my grandmother.
She believes I need to learn patience and empathy and not be so judgemental.
I agree wholeheartedly, and I’m working on two of them.
Mine think the same of me.
I know my mother thinks my biggest is probably that I’m “wasting away in a general degree” instead of going into education like she wanted.
My dad has never really said much other than that I don’t apply myself, but he is a quiet guy.
Brendon
That I don’t know how to apply myself. Getting a Ph.D. at age 26 held them over for about six months. Now they want to know why I don’t have a regular settled-down job, never mind that I’m making an extremely nice living on consultancies. It isn’t that I don’t want a regular settled-down job, it’s just that I’m in an extremely narrow academic field…
I think my mom thinks that I’m too independent. Three years ago I moved away to go to school, she supported me fully since there aren’t that many good options at home.
However, I know she misses me lots, the week I left my little brother told me that she had been crying after I was gone. When I call, she drops everything to talk to me, but she never calls me because she doesn’t want to intrude on my life. I think she’s a little hurt and thinks that I don’t need her anymore.
My parents both think I sacrifice my potential career too often for the needs of my significant other. I guess in their world making $50k a year and being lonely is better than making $14k a year and being happy. So sad they think that way.
For my mother, it’s my failure to have become brilliant at something - brain surgeon, classical musician, top athlete, any of those would have been fine by her. Apparently just being reasonably bright and able to earn a living isn’t enough.
For my father, it’s mostly my failure to explain my long-term single status by announcing I’m a lesbian, thus enabling him to talk about it to everyone and show them how right-on and liberal he is. I can’t get through to him that you can’t come out of the closet if you were never in it in the first place.
My dad was, on one hand, kind of happy that I was female since those are rare in his family. I still haven’t figured out whether my biggest failure was not being a clone of him (male, interested in soccer and accounting), though. Mom claims it was not being absolutely perfect, but Dad wasn’t happy when I did something perfectly either so I’m not sure perfection would have done me much good in that front. Lilbro is the one who came closest to being a clone and he always was able to get away with much more; given the fights Dad used to have with Middlebro, I don’t for a minute believe that this extra flexibility for Lilbro was “because my parents were tired”.
Mom used to believe that my biggest failure was being abnormal. She spent 30 years trying to normalize me and making my life terribly miserable. Once she became convinced that there is nothing wrong with being abnormal so long as you’re not going postal or some such, my current worst failure is living two countries away and being unable to stay in her company 16/7 for more than two weeks in a row.
My mother and her sister call their mother. In the last five years or so they’ve also taken to calling each other so their parents can’t play them against each other like they used to (hey, it only took them 60 years to figure out a solution!). My grandparents don’t even call in your birthday, but they expect the birthdayee to call them (new word!).
My father and his brothers called their mother. She didn’t call them.
First time I worked in the US, there were months I paid more for calling Spain and spending hours a-humming to my mother’s weather report than for rent. Nowadays, because her hours are more complicated and a PC-to-PC call on skype is free, she calls. But only after she’s realized that yes, every time we set up a time for me to call, she’d be out when I did. So now we just set a day, and if she’s home before 9pm she’s the one who calls.
Middlebro and SiL had a conflict for a while because she didn’t understand why would Bro call Mom once a week (two minutes call to confirm that they were going over for lunch), when they would see each other the next day. Bro finally got angry one day and spelled out “you call your mother every single day at least two times, including the one day we’ve seen her. You take care of your mother, I’ll take care of mine, ok?” Sil: :eek: “ah… :o oh!”
My parents are generally loving and supporting and I’m quite lucky to be their daughter.
However, my father is a retired tradesman and I’m currently going thru my own apprenticeship and he thinks I should be more capable about fixing stuff than I am, working on house things and automotive things and such.
Mom thinks I should be able to sew a simple hem and was aghast when she saw cake and brownie mixes in my cupboard, since I of course ought to be making them from scratch.
Dad thinks I’m a great cook and Mom thinks I’m a great all-around handy fixer type, go figure.
According to my mother: Impatience. When I want something, I want it right now.
My dad passed away before I’d grown up so he never got to see how much I’ve changed.
My mother probably thinks my biggest shortfall is that I’m inclined to rush into things if I think they look really exciting. Like Queen Tonya’s mother, mine was similarly aghast to find I’d bought ready-made pastry for something. She never stopped to consider that although I know fine well how to make pastry, that doesn’t mean I want to spend time doing it!
My mom doesn’t really think there’s any one specific thing wrong with me. She just thinks I’m a loser in general.
She thinks it’s pathetic that I don’t make much money, that I’m single and childless at 33, that I haven’t achieved very much, that I have a knack for making the stupidest decision possible in any situation…It’s not that she’s upset with me for anything in particular. It’s just that she doesn’t see anything in me to be proud of.
My mom thinks I am not living up to my potential and have made lots of bad relationship decisions. Can’t argue with that (although if I wanted to, the words “bad role model” might figure prominently).
My grandma (who IMO has honorary parent status) thinks I haven’t really tried hard enough to let Jesus into my heart.
I think my dad thinks I’m an underachiever. I think the same thing of my son.
My parents hate the fact that I didn’t dunk my kids under water to appease some imaginary dick who lives in the sky. Also that I don’t devote my every waking moment to said dick, babble incoherently to him at mealtime/bedtime/etc… or raise my kids to do these things.
My mom gets on me about not going to church.
My dad probably agrees with her nagging, but he doesn’t do it himself.
My mom thinks I’m too bossy. OK - I’ll admit I need to work on that. I came out of a marriage where nothing would happen unless I took charge so I kind of had to take on a boss role that I never really wanted. I’m trying to shake the habit now that that phase is over.
My dad thinks I hung the moon.
My mom thinks I should get a “real” job. Apparently, working for state government doesn’t qualify as real. Maybe she’ll understand when I retire with full benefits at age 47 (7 years, 9 months - not that I’m counting). She also hates that I’m a lousy housekeeper.
My dad mostly ignores me, but hates that I married gasp a non-handy man and we actually hire plumbers etc when things go wrong!
So, we live in a messy, ill-maintained hovel. Needless to say, my parents are not allowed in my house.
My dad thinks I’m way too much of a slob. Well, I am. My mom thinks that too, but she also thinks I spend too much money. Also true.
Dad’s okay with this librarian thing, but after years of thinking it was silly he had finally really gotten behind that history Ph.D. thing, and then I changed my mind. 
My Stepfather and my Mom probably think my biggest shortcoming is that I live a life of sin as a homosexual. Possibly they would word this as I don’t have enough god in my live.
My father… I’m not sure… possibly that I don’t make more money.