Been through this before on the Dope, and not really in the mood to make this thread another “The Auto Show,” but the quick answer is yes to both. Depends on the day and how my life is going.
My mother thinks I have “such strong opinions” (meaning that they are different from HER strong opinions, and I voice them instead of repressing them or playing passive-aggressive games to express myself).
My male DNA donor (whose opinion I value not a whit) thinks I’m a tree-hugging pinko because I eat organic/veggie foods and am not a raging bigot like him.
My dad crossed the bar in 1990, rest his soul, but I think he thought my biggest shortfall was that I was a girl. HE didn’t think being a girl was a liability, but he knew there were many others who did not share his view. He made sure I knew how to change a tire, change a fuse, balance my checkbook, etc.
For that matter, I guess Mom, rest her soul, thought that, too. She had every expectation that I would behave like a complete slut during my teenage years.
Actually my dad thinks this too. But then He calls me less often than I call him so I feel justified in not calling him often.
“Why should I call you [for no apparent reason. I’m not one to gossip about nothing] if you don’t call me?”
No, he doesn’t. It is weird. Actually, now that I think about it, my dad doesn’t complain to me about the not calling. My mom complains to me about me not calling my dad.
So really, I guess it’s two faults from mom and none from dad.
I think my father’s problem with me was that I started to wear glasses at age 6, and was musically inclined and not interested in boy stuff like fighting and sports and shooting defenseless animals. That’s when it went downhill.
I’m still trying to unravel what my mother thought was wrong with me.
Neither of them are here anymore. They didn’t live to see me excel at life despite their best efforts to prevent it from happening.
I admit that I worry a lot, to a degree. But I think most of my worrying is valid (surviving my last year in college, having money, getting a job, etc).
Neither of them has said anything explicitly, but I suspect that they would both rather I had a bit more self-confidence and a bit less of the anxiety.