Ugh. They’re with their dad. Honestly I suppose the problem will eventually solve itself as they age out. The oldest one is such a liar just like her dad - I’m stuck as the trustee for their educational trusts and I swear I don’t trust a single word she says about her enrollment. It’s been a huge enormous pain in the ass and does anybody ever say thank you? Argh.
The youngest one, the one with some developmental concerns, honestly I think he’s going to end up having the least problems of all of them. He’s like a racoon - shows up at other people’s houses for dinner! He’s very popular in Scouts and in school, he’s always out on a camping trip or something (and who can blame him?) Growing like a weed, too.
The middle one had a lot of trouble last school year with depression; ended up staying home from school and having work delivered by the district, which obviously IMHO was the worst place for him to be. He’s a sweet kid and I think he’s going to be okay once he gets the hell out of that house. Serious hygeine issues, though - not just the regular teenage boy stuff, either. I think it’s a defensive measure.
None of them have made any progress at all on learning to drive, even though my parents gave them an old car - I guess their dad likes them kept dependent.
The whole thing is just… it’s just so exhausting. I don’t see them very often. It’s just hard and I’m so tired and I constantly feel like shit about it but there’s really not much I can do about it. Especially with the baby now. I’m afraid to let him have any contact with my little guy - my husband doesn’t even like me going over there to pick them up when I’ve had to do that, just in case Something Happens. My parents sold their house and moved into a senior living facility, so they could have the kids as visitors but at this point couldn’t take them in permanently any more, which I know was a really hard decision for them to make. My poor mother - they’d keep them and he’d grab them back, and they’d keep them and he’d grab them back, and it was so hard on her. I guess everybody’s just become resigned to a horrible situation. I don’t know why that fucking shit won’t just up and die already. You’d think somewhere among his manufactured medical emergencies he would, right?
Things are going pretty well. I’m working a lot- have two jobs working with animals. Or three, depending on whether you consider house/dog-sitting an actual job or just… another thing I do. Just got a promotion at my day job, actually, so I’m getting used to the new position.
I’m still staying in the same place. It was supposed to be temporary (at least I thought so- she almost immediately started suggesting that I find a job “close to home” and so forth), but it’s turned out to be sort of mutually beneficial- I get low rent and she has someone to help with the animals and do work around the house. I have actually discussed that with her, too- I don’t want to be the clueless person who just won’t leave.
I am thinking of going back to school soon, but am kind of trying to coordinate all my next steps. And decide if I’m sure I know what I want to do. I’m thinking of nursing because there are jobs there and I’m sure I could do it. Also teaching myself to sew when I have time, which is rarely. I actually just picked up some patterns for Christmas gifts. We’ll see how that works out :o
So basically… things are pretty decent at the moment!
Wow, I just came back and read what I wrote about the kids and it doesn’t even sound like me - sounds like somebody bitter and mean. I guess the whole situation is just so relentlessly awful and so impossible to fix that it’s ground me down like that.
Yeah, it didn’t sound bitter and mean to me either, Zsofia. It sounded like an honest straightforward description of an extremely difficult situation. Hang in there.
I was so freaking happy to hear about Ogre - I remember feeling just awful for him back when he was having such a rough time with his plants. He’d just put soooo much work into it and tried absolutely everything and it just wasn’t fair!
I was wondering about Blinkie, too. Maybe if we all look in the mirror and say his name three times, he’ll appear.
Concur, Zsofia, that’s a helluva grind, so stop beating yourself about a semi-rant venting post. I am glad you gave us an update. Now, serenity prayer and all that …
I have always what happened in the case in the south where an 80+ woman shot cops breaking down her door executing a no-knock warrant. They shot and killed her but I never heard any followup and don’t remember which southern city it was so I didn’t have anything to Google. The thread was in the Pit. Unfortunately I am afraid they got off scot-free.
My cousin from Barcelona is one of those people who are traitors and liars at such deep levels that they are surprised when someone “beats them” while not breaking any rules. I think she’s the only one in the family who still hasn’t understood that getting an actual written contract to rent Grandma’s house (I’m officially using it as my Barcelona base) provides legal and economical benefits both for me and Grandma, compared with doing it under the table (for me it’s a deductible, for her the income level is low enough that it doesn’t need to be reported - barely, but tax can be a lot like horseshoes; there’s a bunch of securities put in place for a legal contract which wouldn’t be there without it). And this is the cousin who’s got a law degree and whose job includes, among other things, tax prep for her employer… When someone is like that and you’re not, you can’t fix them; when you also can’t avoid them… want some Tums?
There was a young girl in the northeast somewhere who started posting about a “ghost” who talked to her and was her companion all the time. I never posted in that thread (I remember quite a few people did, though) and then she just disappeared. I remember being really concerned about her. Does anyone else remember this? I guess this is appropriate for the time of year and all…
Every time I saw newcrasher post, I’d think of this topic he made and wonder if he really was anyone of note or if he was just pulling our legs.
I guess we’ll never learn the answer.
And as for dopers that just mysteriously vanished, I still wonder where lobstermobster and Scott Plaid ran off to. The first posted a ton, back in the day, then disappeared…although she came back years later to reply to a topic asking about her. Scott, on the other hand, was a regular poster (even once being Pitted for posting too much) and then one day he was just gone. Posting one day and never again afterwards.
