Tesla.
Elvis Presley would have been mine. Oh, yes, he would have been mine.
My wife freely admits that if Michael Collins, the Irish rebel leader and general, had been available I wouldn’t have stood a chance.
I hear Jesus was pretty hot…he occasionally used his powers on the ladies.
Marlon Brando and Richard Brautigan. Not necessarily at the same time.
I have always felt a distinctly pleasurable twinge in my lady bits when I contemplate David Foster Wallace
I am a huge DFW fanboy and can see the appeal from a guy’s POV. By the same token, I have read the biography written by D.T. Max and some of Mary Karr’s writing (DFW pursued her relentlessly, and got her, for a period of time). He sounded like a complex carnival ride - all immersive, dysfunctional, etc.
One of those Be Careful What You Wish For type of situations 
I’ve always kinda had a thing forIsaac Newton. Both as a young man and in middle age. Whatever the speculations about his sexuality–or lack thereof–I know I coulda made a man outta him.
Grand Duchess Tatiana Romanov. Second and smartest daughter of Nick and Alix.
Very true - I suspect the “don’t let the crazy stick his dick in you” corollary was applicable in his case. So it’s a good thing I was never in his class when he was an adjunct professor fooling around with his students. Depending on what he was like in person, I don’t know if I would have had the strength to resist.
Yep. A friend of mine was a junior prof in English while David was teaching at Pomona College. They didn’t talk much, but being in the general vicinity was intoxicating, apparently. The sharing of DFW’s syllabi was a big event, because of all of the notes and commentary included. Yet another data point that he came across as a force of nature.
Che Guevara.
Woof woof.
Miyamoto Musashi. But by boff I mean “duel with foam swords”. I want to see if he can use a toy sword as well as a real one. My name is boffking because I run a group where we fight with foam weapons.
William Tecumseh Sherman.
Brandon Lee forever and ever! If I had the chance before he died, I would have locked us in a room together for days and days… 
On a side note, I feel soooo bad for Eliza every time I think of what happened to him.
He looks like Kenneth Branagh in those pictures.
If we’re going with dead commies, I personally think Lenin was hella hot. Bald, sure, but that piercing gaze and slightly demonic beard…
Nathaniel Hawthorne