Multiple simultaneous orgasms.
This is the best serious answer. So, if we manage to deflect the asteroid that’s on a collision course with Earth, that might do it.
Several years ago, some of the scientists at NASA gave a news conference, discussing the possibility that there had once been life on Mars. To me, even the possibility was a huge event. Like many other people I was glued to the TV.
My cousin complained that NASA was pre-empting her soap operas.
Even if there were actual Martians landing on the White House roof, some people would be missing their soap operas.
When I am installed as Supreme Emperor of the Earth there will be great and jubilant celebrations all over the world. I will command it to be so. They will last until I grow weary of the bother. Then it’s back to work for you peons.
What about the Singularity, with the end result being an altruistic artificial intelligence that immediately begins work on making the world a better place (desalination plants, air pollution scrubbers, desert reclaimation, clean energy, etc.)?
I for one welcome our benevolent Georgian overlord.
Ooo! I’ve got it - a direct subway line from NYC to LaGuardia and JFK Airports.
…Naw, the cabbies wouldn’t like it.
How about a Replacements reunion?
Yes…benevolent…that’s it.
When I am S.E.E., there will be an evil smiley.
An inexpensive, safe and small-scale cold fusion-based generator.
Optimally, it would be fuelled by a natural, organic digestive process based on ingesting boy bands, country pop stars, vapid non-news hosts hosting news programs, and the tears of my enemies.
I am thinking maybe a vaccine or a cure for cancer or the discovery of friendly extraterrestial life.