That’s certainly a fair question, scr4, and one that deserves an answer.
I was not commenting that the person’s actions were extreme, rather that they were uncivil. There is a difference between the two.
I certainly understand the other driver’s anger - I’ve been known to get a bit steamed when I see people doing stupid things in cars too. I’m not begrudging him the right to his emotions.
However, despite this being the pit, I have been extremely civil about the matter. I did not call the other driver names, hurl epithets at him, or even call him uncivilized. I simply lamented the lack of common courtesy, as illustrated by the example.
Just because one posts something in the Pit, that doesn’t mean that it’s an extreme reaction. I’ve posted items in the Pit and in each case (feel free to look up my Pit history) I’ve been civil and respectful throughout.
Not that things ever are or were perfect but I think that after folks were “robbed” in a contentious election, attacked on 9/11, have seen respect for their country squandered in an unpopular war, are suffering through the heat of summer, watch their neighbors lose their jobs and pensions and are paying through the nose for gas and, soon, heating oil… well… it just all kinda adds up and they’re not as charitable as we’d like to see.
Sorry Zev, I’m truly doubtful y’all were deserving of that measure of rudeness.
Another possibility is that the person believed your wife was intentionally being an asshole. I’ve found that even in these times, it take relatively “special” person to get really pissed off and rude at someone who is making unintentional mistakes (frustrated, yes, flipping the person off, no).
It is quite possible the guy thought your wife was being an asshole. I find a lot that on the highway, as I’m trying desperately to merge in, the idiots who keep a car length or two, only to speed up when they see my put my blinker on to change lanes, somehow think I’m the aggressor for daring to cut in front of them and not run my car into the retaining wall at the end of the merge lane. In my world, they are the aggressive assholes for speeding up and trying to keep me from merging; in their world, I’m the aggressive asshole for “cutting them off.”
I was standing in line at the bank the other day, and two ladies in front of me were chatting. They were so engrossed in their conversation, they didn’t notice that the line had moved up until I cleared my throat and mentioned it to them. They said they were sorry and moved up. No muss, no fuss.
Now imagine instead if I had yelled “HEY, WHAT THE HELL’S THE MATTER WITH YOU! CAN’T YOU SEE THE LINE’S MOVED UP, DUMBASS?!” Oh, and I’d probably honk one of those canned air horns, too, just to make my point.
Something about the anonymity of being in a car just peels away that veneer of civility.
Hey, being polite even works with cops (sometimes)
I was up in Wichita Ks a couple weeks ago, had to get the rent-a-car back in fifteen minutes, three gas stations in a row had long lines. Saw an empty pump on the wrong side of the street and cut in front of a couple of trucks who honked and yelled. I was thinking of making some kind of nasty reply when a cruiser pulled up beside me, the cop giving me a very displeased look and reaching for his ticket book. Big sheepish smile, spread hands in apology, got out of my car and walked over saying “Boy, that was really dumb, right? Don’t know what I was thinking of” and so on. Not only didn’t he give me a ticket, he ended up driving off with a “welcome to Wichita, drive nice now” and a smile.
I suppose they’re so used to getting rudeness from the people they have to interact with that any kind of civilized behaviour improves their mood. Worked for me anyway. Now if I can just keep that in mind when I have to cope with Mexico City traffic…
This is when it’s good to be driving a stick - I can make the engine rev really loudly without the car moving forward when an illegal pedestrian (usually a teenager - I wouldn’t scare Granny) is lollygagging in front of me.
In answer to the OP, common civility is not very common. I think we need it more than ever, as we live in increasingly crowded conditions, where everywhere you go you are being forced to interact with other human beings, but instead of becoming more common, it seem to be becoming less common as people move further out of our monkeysphere.
It is somewhat of a chore to remain civil when you have rude interaction after rude interaction, and it starts to feel like you are the only civil person left in civilization, but it’s a choice I make because it’s important to me to remain courteous (and a challenge, as well).