"What" exactly are "you" trying to "say"?

The BBQ Pit
1

“What” exactly are “you” trying to “say”?

So I’ve “just” gotten another “piece” of chatty, “business” related e-mail (an e-mail equivilant of a “newsletter”), and “every” fourth or “fifth” word is in “quotation marks”. “The” quotes make “no” sense. It’s like they just “tossed” quotation “marks” in at random. This “is” a horrible “trend” which I feel “compelled” to “rant” about!

Apparently, there’s a “misconception” that “quoting” words somehow replaces italics, underlining or bolding, “by” adding “emphasis”. Sadly “this” isn’t “the” case, and “it” especially isn’t “the” case “when” random “words” are quoted.

To those who think “it” is “the” case, please allow me to clarify:
There are three primary reasons for putting words into quotes:

  1. The word or phrase is a direct quote.

“My GOD!” cried Joe “You mean that my wife of 50 years is really a MAN?!”

“I have no idea why I was found in the river wearing only boxer shorts and carrying 3 cans of Silly String[sub]tm[/sub]” said the Senator. “I suspect Communists!”

  1. They can be used to sarcastically set a word apart, distancing the speaker from the word or phrase in question. Fer instance:

Many creation “scientists” claim that the universe is less than 5000 years old. They also have “scientific” proof that the Earth’s core isn’t molten nickle-iron, but rather, chewy caramel and nougat.

“Doctor” Laura has a PhD in something like Physical Fitness.

  1. They can even be used to set unfamiliar words or jargon apart:
    " ‘Kiss’? What mean this word ‘kiss’? Me only simple jungle-princess."

The next step in adding a new hard drive is to “partition” the new drive.

The following phrases (re-written for privacy) do not warrant quotation marks:

We’re “very” happy to have EnGulfCo as one of “our” new partners!

It’s very important to “remember” to reboot your “system” every night for security purposes!

Steve has been at this company for “three years”!

A helpful tip. Try reading the sentence aloud, using a smirky Jeff Goldblum voice every time a word is in quotations. If it doesn’t sound right, don’t do it!

Another helpful tip: if you’re sending a plain text e-mail message, and want to emphasise a word using italics, putting an astricks around the word is a generally accepted convention. Underscores can be used to substitute for underlines.

In any case, the quotation mark can be your “friend” or your “enemy”. Use it wisely!

“Fenris”

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When is your birthday “Fenris,” I’ll send ya a pair of quotation marks for your front lawn.

3

I have “seen” that of which you rant. “It” is called the SARCASTICIZOR.

4

This is a “good” rant. :smiley:

5

What are these “quotation marks” you speak of? I don’t understand?

6

**
The setting apart of “very” could well be interpreted to mean “not at all.” Similarly the “our” seems to be a sarcastic recognition of the fact that you are not included as somebody who counts within the corporate structure.

When you say “our company,” do you really think it’s at all yours.

**

Clearly a veiled insult. By quoting “remember” they are actually suggesting that as a mere employee you are not capable of conducting such a cognitive process as remembering. They think that you’re going to have to tattoo it on your knuckles or put a big “post-it” note on your monitor in order to “remember.” Their saying that memory isn’t part of the make up of a wage slave. “System,” is merely a sarcastic poke at the antiquated hardware they provide you with. You can call that Abacus and string a “system” if you like.

**

If I was Steve I’d be pretty worried about this. The “three years” usage suggests that while technically Steve has achieved this milestone, the reality is that he’s been screwing around for two years and nine months of that time, and management knows it. “Three years” suggests there won’t be a fourth.

You gotta know how to read these things, Bud.

7

Lemme just say, there’s nothing more fun than putting air quotes around random words in your sentences, especially if you do something vocal to emphasize it. Drives people totally batty.

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Unless you really want to be nitpicky, and italicize words like /this/. You’re forgiven for the mention of underscores, though; I’ve used that so frequently that I often underline words in posts in that fashion rather than using our nice vB code.

9

For your amusment or mortification: “Gotta” Love “Those” Quotes.

10

Fenris, I think the appropriate response would have been:

“Fuck” you!

11

Great rant. Have you been channelling Chris Farley?

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No kidding. I have a friend who does this ALL THE TIME! The worst part is that I’m sure she has no idea what a moron she sounds like when it is read “correctly”. It does indeed drive me batty.

I have tried to advise her of certain e-mail etiquette (for example, to include some or all of the e-mail you are replying to in your reply. That way people know what you are replying to. I get e-mails from her that are replies to things from last week and I have no clue what she is talking about.) but when I give her this much needed advice, she says, “There are too may rules.”

Sigh.

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For those of us who actually know how to read and use punctuation, reading this kind of thing is remarkably strange and irritating, even inside my own head…

I’m with ya on this one, “Fenris” (yeah, right!)

stoid

14

My husband and I were ranting about this very issue just last night. We walked past our local post office and saw a sign in the truck lot that read, “Remember to ‘turn’ off the engine.” What the heck is that? You don’t really have to turn off the engine, just “turn” off the engine? “Well, I pretended to turn it off. Doesn’t that count?” I guess if you could find a way to make the engine stop without actually “turning” it off, you could do that.

That drives me crazy.

15

I wanna know what an asstrick is.

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[sub]It should be mentioned that I know that Fenris said “astrick”, but I read it as “asstrick”.[/sub]

17

Odd, I had this exact same conversation yesterday.

My favorite was at the place I used to work. It was an employee’s birthday, and they got her a cake, which read:

HAPPY
BIRTHDAY
“BETTY”

This made me laugh and laugh and say things like, “Happy birthday, Betty, if that’s your REAL name.” No one else got it. No one else saw this as odd.

A movie theater near here also has a sign outside it reading, in total:

“NO BICYCLES”

Yes, the quotes included.

18

I think Fenris meant “asterisk”, or the character “*”. Of course, that whole “spelling” thing is very overrated.

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Don’t you mean “overrated”? :stuck_out_tongue:

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Our dear Fenris has forgotten the most important usage of quotation marks and that is to turn any normal sentence into something dirty.

Have to go, I’m having “dinner” with the wife tonight.