I’ve always been of the opinion that homophobes don’t believe gay people or gay lives as described in the OP exist. It’s too normal. They think the homosexual “lifestyle” is all about random sex with multiple partners, without any thought of love or marriage or life together, because that’s “heteronormative.” That’s what repulsed them (never mind that straight people SOMETIMES sleep around).
Many years ago, I had a gay male acquaintance who would always bring up that he was gay in job interviews - and no, he wasn’t interviewing for jobs where that kind of thing might be important to know. He couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t getting hired, either.
I dunno. Most of the gays in my social circle are beat-down middle class stiffs with lives indistinguishable from my own. The handful I know who want to play at being the obnoxious flaming queen who must be the center of attention aren’t materially different from the straights I know who are all about look at me.
FWIW, what you do with your genials is of not even passing interest to me.
Now we just have to figure out which one.
Reach around handjob? Docking? Scissoring?
They are bigots. The same type that don’t like Jews who have never done anything to them or anyone else as a group of people. Judaism isn’t a mission religion, don’t go door to door trying to convert people, but because they don’t follow the popular religion that focuses on a fantasy father figure in the sky who they should fear, they are hated for no reason. Homosexuality is in the minority, and always will be so they attack it. They attack it because they aren’t like them, so there must be something wrong with it.
The very important thing to remember is, in the US, the bigots are in the tiny minority. When you drive down the street and you see a jesus fish on someone’s car, think of the tens of thousands of cars you pass that don’t have that nonsense on their car. You see some idiot holding a sign they are against homosexuality, think of the many others that aren’t holding up such a sign. When the KKK has a rally, about 7 of them show up against the thousands that shout them down.
When the Irish first came to the US in large groups, they were mocked and gossip among the idiots they weren’t as intelligent as everyone else. This was repeated for everyone else that came over. The military use to have segregated troops because they didn’t think whites should serve with blacks along with twisted logic to justify it as well.
My advice to you, is to not watch and read the BS about Kim Davis or any of that other stuff. Talk the dogs for a walk, enjoy life and leave the haters to stew in their own juices of misery.
All I know is that my research into this question so far has been a hoot. Maybe this is the kind of project that is more about the journey than the destination.
Cute song:
(I know others mentioned the anal sex = icky thing; yours was just the quote I grabbed.)
My experience of 25 years of having sex with men is that they’re not at all averse to anal sex with women. For most of them, it’s like unlocking an achievement, something to brag about to their friends. :dubious:
I know, I know, it’s not a logic thing. None of the reasons people have any hang ups, fascination or phobias around homosexuality are logical. It’s just…odd.
Darsh, I was trying to figure out how to respond to Hari Seldon’s ignorance, but you did a way better job, and in less words, than I would have. Good job!
This. For years my father and I spoke about Fred Phelps and his actions, speculating that Fred had “urges” himself. He proved HE wasn’t gay by having a big family, thirteen children, andc then using those kids for the picketing. Even now when Fred is gone, and I drive by the family compound, I wonder why they keep it all up.
Stimulating a partner’s prostate with a penis.
Now, after a million inquiries, you have a valid, albeit admittedly u useful, answer.
Man having sex with a trans woman…
Ditto, and I know a lot of gays, both men and women. Sometimes it’s years before I know for sure. (I am married and not looking, so I have no immediate need for that information.) Usually, I find out when someone introduces me to their partner. Sometimes it comes up when they ask me if I am gay. Because they are looking.
Once, a co-worker took me out to lunch a couple of weeks after I was hired, and explicitly came out to me as gay. I thought that was pretty weird. That’s the closest I’ve ever seen to what that lesson described.
As for why homophobia?
I think that any sex that doesn’t attract you is icky. Ask any six year old, and they will confirm this. In general, stuff that violates the boundary between self and other is icky, unless it’s actively attractive. So eating stuff that you don’t think is food, excreting, bleeding, putting things up your nose, hypodermic needles… All those boundary violations are innately icky to some degree. Unless they make us hungry or horny.
So most straight people find gay sex icky. And some straight people can’t think about gay people without thinking of gay sex. At least, that’s my theory. And most of the people in this category can get over this by meeting some gay people and interacting with them in ordinary, non-sexual ways.
But I think the really virulent anti-gay folks are often the people who have unwanted gay desires. Too them, gay people are actually threatening. Because they might be tempted.
And some of the intermediate homophobes are men who view women almost exclusively as sexual objects. They are terrified that there are men out there who look at then the way they look at women.
Those are the three categories that I think explain most homophobia.
It’s the idea of a dick in their butt.
I’ve already mention that I have never introduce my self and announce that I was gay in normal situations. However, I lost one friend when he found out, so I just decided to let it be know as early as possible, so as not to invest any time/effort in becoming friends with them.
When I was 17 (1978), I was asked by an interviewer for a stock clerk job, if I had a girlfriend or if I played sports. I answered no, and he didn’t ask any follow up questions. I didn’t get the job.
When I was a kid (mid-sixties) my dad worked in publishing in New York City. There was a gay couple who worked with him. We had them over every Thanksgiving for years. I knew them as a couple before I knew what sex was. I still find gay sex personally unappealing, but I was around gays before the “ick factor” was operational. I believe (hope) that will become the norm - that same-sex couples are so much an accepted part of the landscape that the mechanics of their sex lives becomes immaterial.
oops
Anyhow, I think he was trying to avoid investing socially with a person who would be upset to learn he was gay. And we are now close. But it was a weird and awkward lunch, nonetheless.
This dates back to religion and possibly sovereign power. Women are truly those that hate gays. They feel the future holds a gay invasion and probably “forsee” the world failing because of it. Really though gays have walked the earth as long as straights have and just because they now wish to be comfortable in public and not secretive straight people fear that children will no longer have priority. Religion, history, culture, and many other factors tie together why homosexuality is unacceptable or fearful. Its actually interesting, my point of view. I could outline this and explicitly justify each point, but unless you truly want my perspective (can email here) I wish not to excessively reply to this blog post.
Never come across this before. Have you actually knowingly met any gay people? I wonder if your impression hasn’t been formed from watching corny movies and sitcoms where the gayness is laid on with a shovel.