What Good Is My Fucking License?

The BBQ Pit
81

I would like to point out to all the people huffing and puffing over not having a passport accepted in the U.S. as ID to buy alcohol that most cashiers and bartenders wouldn’t be able to tell a genuine passport from a fake, especially since anyone with a copy of Print Artist, a printer, and about an hour of their time could easily construct one themselves, maybe not of a quality that would convince the guy at the border post, but certainly good enough to flash at a bar.

And cashiers have generally had no training in what constitutes a genuine passport, whereas we’ve all been lectured about what a valid driver’s license looks like.

If someone handed me a little booklet that said, “PASSPORT” on the front, with maybe some official-looking stamps and a photo inside, I wouldn’t have the faintest idea how to tell if it was genuine.

But driver’s licenses, even from different states, are something you get familiar with–the look, the feel, the heft in your hand, the shiny holographic seals.

I wouldn’t accept a little booklet that said “Passport” on it for tobacco sales. I’d ask to see credit cards or something.

82

[QUOTE=PunditLisa]
Exactly. Unless you’re traveling in a foreign country, you have no need to carry around your passport.
[/QUOTE]

Even then, it’s often not a good idea, and in many cases completely unnecessary.

Edit: except for furriners in America planning on drinking alcohol :stuck_out_tongue:

83

[QUOTE=Musicat]
Not so fast. One local grocery chain has decided to card EVERYONE. That way, they can never lose, so they think. It’s pretty silly to see little old white-haired ladies being asked for a valid driver’s license before they can buy that pint bottle of gin.
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That happens most places here as well. On the cusp of my fourth decade of life I’d like to think I’m still fairly well preserved, I’m not quite deluded enough to believe that they actually think I might be 20 years old or younger. Once you see them also carding a doddering old man who fishes out his driver’s license with tremulous, liver-spotted hands, that illusory sense of flattery you felt dissipates rather quickly.

84

[QUOTE=GorillaMan]
Even then, it’s often not a good idea, and in many cases completely unnecessary.

[/QUOTE]

There’s a LONG-running debate on this in Thailand. Seems there’s a law that requires Thai nationals to carry their nationality card on them at all times but no corresponding law explicitly saying foreigners have to. But your average Thai cop, not exactly being Dick Tracy, does not realize this and will often try to pop a farang (Westerner) for not having his or her passport. And no Thai cop is even going to admit to the possibility of a foreigner knowing the law better than he does. So since so many cops insist there IS such a law (which there’s not), a lot off farangs argue that there must be. Easy to lose a passport in the bars, though, so I usually carry a photocopy of the info page. I’ve heard that will satisfy most cops, but there are still some hard-asses. Still, I’ve never ever had a cop here actually ask me for ID while minding my own business.

85

[QUOTE=PunditLisa]
(b) Gaining admission to a premises that has been issued a liquor permit authorizing the sale of beer or intoxicating liquor for consumption on the premises where sold, and where admission is restricted to persons twenty-one years of age or older.
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In what way, shape or form does this speak to the acceptability of a passport? :dubious:

86

[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett]
I’ve had trouble buying beer in Worcester, MA with a VA license (I’m now 33 and lived in Worcester for most my first 31 years!).
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I think that might be a Worcester thing. I had trouble buying beer in Worcester, with my MA license, with my Worcester address. Maybe if I had managed to develop a Worcester accent at some point in my 16 years there, they may have given me an easier time. They had no doubt my license was valid. They had no doubt it was actually me. But their arugment was that I didn’t look over 21 :rolleyes: (I don’t understand this, if the license is valid and it is me, then how can I not be over 21?)

I also had trouble buying cigarettes in Worcester with the same license - when I was 24. This time they didn’t believe it was really my license. I’m kinda distinctive looking - what with the red hair and blue eyes. It’s not as if I have typical looks.

When I moved to the Western part of the state, I never had any trouble with my license - even when it SAID Worcester. I don’t have any trouble with it here in NY either.

87

I’ve never had any trouble getting into bars with my passport in the US, but that may be because I’ve only stayed in major cities. I am very grateful for this, since until quite recently I wasn’t eligible for a state ID.

So how are us furriners supposed to drink in these places that only accept state ID? :dubious:

88

[QUOTE=PunditLisa]
Exactly. Unless you’re traveling in a foreign country, you have no need to carry around your passport. Please don’t tell me you routinely carry around your SS card, too…
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Oh, okay, thanks–I thought that’s what you meant.

And you’re right–legally speaking, there’s no need for me to carry my passport unless I’m in a foreign country (though, clearly, you’re never been to my beloved South Carolina-- :smiley: )–or *any * ID at all for that matter. Like I said, though, I do so partly because it’s just a particular quirk of mine.

I must say that I find it highly unlikely that both my driver’s license and my passport would be lost/stolen simulaneously, since (a) they’re always located in separate places on my person, so (b) if some scum decides to pickpocket my wallet, they’ll get the license, but not the passport, and (c) if that were to happen, it might be helpful for me to have some way of providing proof of my identity when I file a police report (perhaps not likely, but I don’t like drama, so I like to be as prepared as I can be), and (d) I never know when I might need to provide proof of ID (suppose I’m travelling out of state?), so, again, better safe than sorry.

Also, Og forbid that I should become incapacitated or some horrible fate should befall me, but I’d think that having both ID’s on my body–assuming that at least one ID could be found on me–would make it easier for the authorities to track down and inform my poor mother of my unfortunate accident or, more unfortunately, my untimely demise. Mama can go for a month or so without hearing from me–she’s very “un-needy” that way, as I am, thank goodness–but she would begin to worry at some point.

Funny that you mentioned the social security card. I just checked my wallet, and lo and behold, there it was. I had it there from a couple of years ago when I needed to provide it to my current (but then new) employer, and I must’ve forgotten to remove it. I have now removed it and put it in the place where I keep my birth certificate.

ETA: Just in case it comes up–no, I don’t dig the idea of mandating that folks routinely carry any kind of ID.

89

[QUOTE=PunditLisa]
Exactly. Unless you’re traveling in a foreign country, you have no need to carry around your passport. Please don’t tell me you routinely carry around your SS card, too…
[/QUOTE]

I do.

Well I did.

Until last month, when my wallet was stolen. Goodbye DL. Goodbye passport. Goodbye SS card. Goodbye student ID…

90

When I was a freshman in college in Texas, I worked as a cashier at a drugstore that sold beer.

One night, a girl clearly not 21 tried to buy beer. When I asked for her ID, she gave me a fake ID from “Nebraska”. Not an adulterated Nebraska ID, mind you. An official looking card that didn’t even resemble a Nebraska ID.

Her bad fortune to run across the sole Revco cashier in all of Fort Worth originally from Omaha.

Another time when I was a student in New Orleans, I duly presented my ID to the door gal at a bar. Now, keep in mind that at this time, a Nebraska ID had the word “Nebraska” in a pale yellow watermark behind the text of your address.

The door gal was confused by this ID.

“Where is this from?”

Okay, you clearly don’t know your state abbreviations since “NE” is clearly part of the address. You don’t know where the hell Omaha is, either. And can’t read the - frankly pretty prominent - watermark saying “Nebraska” that takes up a third of my license. (Or maybe you’ve never heard of Nebraska and don’t realize it’s a state of the US. Don’t laugh. It’s happened.)

“Oh,” I says. “That’s a general US driver’s license. Good in all fifty states.”

“Wow,” she says. “That’s a good idea.”

And opens the rope and lets me in the bar.

91

Who sold you a license to fuck? You’ been robbed, man. You don’ need no fucking license, just the permission of your partner.

92

Must have got it from that chap in the cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.

93

[QUOTE=Bobotheoptimist]
Must have got it from that chap in the cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.
[/QUOTE]
No, the Ministry of Fuckinge.

94

[QUOTE=Siam Sam]
I agree it’s moronic, but it’s true that most Americans seem to have no experience with them. I knew a guy back in Texas who used it as an ID for writing a check in a convenience store one time after his license had expired. They accepted it, but their jaws dropped, and they called all the other staff to take a look at it, because no one had ever seen one before. For all THEY knew – just a bunch of hick rednecks – he could have fashioned this thing himself.
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This is a sad statement on our country (I won’t say a word about it being Texas, I promise), but their ignorance does not negate the fact that the passport is government issued ID. Maybe they need to get a bit more. Now that passports will soon be needed to go to Mexico, I’m sure Texans will get up to speed. :slight_smile:

ETA: and perhaps Decatur, IL will be too, someday!

95

[QUOTE=Uncommon Sense]
You need to way chill.
If the state, county, city, whatever says you need to show a STATE ID to prove age then that’s what you need to show. Providing eight-hundred other forms of legal ID is meaningless to the authorities who enforce the drinking laws. Therefore, meaningless to the bar owners and workers.
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Is there such a Law? Cite?

96

[QUOTE=Una Persson]
Heh. You could use it as an opportunity to regale them with tales of your travels.

“My burly and hirsute friend, I see you are admiring my stamp from Mexico. Ah yes, I remember that trip well. Most of all, I remember a woman - or goddess. Does not every woman contain a goddess, if a man be so bold as to draw her out? On the volcanic beach one moonlit night, I saw a vision rise from the waves, and come to lay with me, wordlessly, on the sand. And although I knew not of her name, and she not of mine, we made passionate love under the full moon, our cries of passion mingling with the sound of the waves and gunfire from the Zapatista rebels in the jungles nearby. In the morning I woke, alone, but knowing the true peace and happiness of having an empty soul filled. You know of what I speak, do you not, my friend? Ah, indeed, you too are a man of the world, my brother in arms. Here, I kiss you as only a European can without being thought of as - how do you say? Ah!, yes, ‘gay’. Now, I shall enter your establishment, and should you wish to take a break, I will buy a pina colada for you, and tell you of another time, another country, and another woman…for there have been so many…”
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This would be wonderful to try! :cool:

97

[QUOTE=Rasa]
When I lived briefly in CA, I didn’t yet have a CA license. I was refused service more than once because the liquor store owner or bartender had <i>never heard of the state of Rhode Island</i>. I had a gas station owner threaten to call the cops on me when I tried to buy smokes because I not only had a “fake license from a fake state”, but my car’s license plates must also have been fake because they were also from this mythical land I called “Rhode Island”.
.
[/QUOTE]

Yes, and everyone should know it’s* Delaware *that’s the “fake state”. :smiley:

98

[QUOTE=DrDeth]
Yes, and everyone should know it’s* Delaware *that’s the “fake state”. :smiley:
[/QUOTE]

Another poster recently reported that they wouldn’t accept her New Mexico driver’s license because it was from another country. :slight_smile:

99

[QUOTE=DrDeth]
Yes, and everyone should know it’s* Delaware *that’s the “fake state”. :smiley:
[/QUOTE]

Amusingly enough, it was in San Jose that the gas station accused me of making Rhode Island up. One of the other times was in Gilroy, which was a bit more excuseable. :wink:

100

[QUOTE=Rasa]
When I lived briefly in CA, I didn’t yet have a CA license. I was refused service more than once because the liquor store owner or bartender had <i>never heard of the state of Rhode Island</i>. I had a gas station owner threaten to call the cops on me when I tried to buy smokes because I not only had a “fake license from a fake state”, but my car’s license plates must also have been fake because they were also from this mythical land I called “Rhode Island”.

I wish I was kidding. In both cases with being refused alcohol I asked them to look RI up in that book of licenses they keep behind the counter, I just got derisive snorts.
[/QUOTE]

I had something similar happen to me. I was also in California wanting to buy beer at a convenience market. I was 36, but not that surprised she asked for my ID. When I gave her my Kentukcy driver’s license, she asked what is was. I explained that I lived in Kentucky, and that was what all the driver’s licenses looked like.

She had to call the manager over. They huddled together and discussed it, then she came back and said I didn’t look like someone who lived in Kentucky, so it must be fake, so they wouldn’t sell me the beer. (I done figur’d they ne’er sawed no folk from Cantuck wit’ shoes on 'for.)

The next place I went ( I was in California visiting my mother, and was really looking forward to that beer) they also card me, and refuse to sell it to me. This time they said it was quite obvious I wasn’t anywhere near 21 (which I guess I wasn’t, being 36 and all). They knew this from my choice of beer. No one 36 years old would ever purchase Mickey’s Big Mouth, they informed me. ( In my defense, I hadn’t seen Mickey’s Big Mouth since I was in college, so chose it for sentimental reasons) So they also felt my ID must be fake.

At 43, I still often get carded. I think they expect me to actually be over 21, but not quite as old as I am. This has caused some problems, some people just don’t think the ID can be right and won’t sell to me. When one guy accused me of having a fake ID, I asked if it wasn’t a bit of overkill for me to claim to be 43, if I was actually under 21. If I was going to fake it, wouldn’t I be better of having the age be 23? He thought about it for a while, and decided that it probably was real.

And it isn’t uncommon anymore if the person asking me for my ID is a woman about my age, to ask me what brand of facial products I use or vitamins I take. So I guess it is a compliment, but I do find it annoying at times.