What happens to incredibly picky eaters in adulthood?

In My Humble Opinion
241

Hmm. As to picky eaters not being travellers, I have been to 43 of the 50 states, Europe 4 times, UK 3 times, Canada probably about 3 times as well. Oh, and the Caribbean as well.

I see this POV as strictly trying to prove that picky eaters are somehow lesser or “too big for their britches” or some such. Nonsense. Eating is only one way to explore a different culture. When I travel, I have one evening that I splurge on a really nice meal–and no pomme frites. Other than that-I cannot take the food home except in poundage. I prefer to look at the art, talk to the people, learn the history and observe the different societal customs.

Christ, what a Phillistine am I.
:rolleyes:

[QUOTE=Sleel]
I personally don’t really care if someone is a picky eater as long as it doesn’t affect me much. I’m willing to accommodate someone occasionally, but if our plans are always dictated by their tastes, then I’m probably not going to want to be around them much. If it’s possible to find other things to do together then it might be okay, but otherwise it’s pretty likely that I just won’t bother socializing with them. It’s the same with any other relationship. If the compromising only goes one way, the social debt becomes unwieldy, and the only thing you can do is to sever the relationship.
[/QUOTE]

Seems to me that the comprise is only going one way. If you insist on Mexican or sushi and don’t allow anyone a call or say–how is that any different?
I have two points in this thread: 1. picky eaters are not lesser people who deserve contemptous labels and rude treatment by others and 2. being finicky doesn’t limit life or its variety–the focus is just not on food.

It ain’t rocket science.

242

[QUOTE=Sleel]
This is part of why I can’t imagine picky eaters being travelers.
[/QUOTE]
I do lose weight on vacation (if there’s ever a time I want people kibble or a food pill, it’s when I’m travelling).

It’s a combination of having too much to do and not wanting to be bothered with the trouble of finding food I like. I tend to plan my days as “Today, I need to get to A, B, C, D, and E. And if I have time F.” None of those places involve food, and usually sometime around early afternoon, I’ll notice that I’m kind of hungry. But given the choice between seeing something I know I want to see and getting food - the site seeing always wins. Always. Eventually, after everything has closed (or I’ve seen all I want to see), I’ll find something that will give me enough calories to do the same the next day. But eating is not really part of my vacation.

243

Amen to that araminth. I am happy with a croque monsieur in Paris, as I wander the streets. I can always get a pain au chocolat and water and keep moving as well.

Yes, I do try to eat well in Paris–but the above foods alone beat the mall foodcourt hands down. I had pig’s feet last time I was in Paris (about 3 weeks ago)–meh. But I can say I had them! (not worth the money or effort, IMO).

244

If one person doesn’t get as much pleasure out of food as another, then it is a shame for that person.
It is a common experience for those with a broad interest in food, and often an experience they have themselves gone through, that many people who claim to be picky eaters are in fact just lazy eaters. Many times we meet people who eat a very limited number of foods, but when exposed to different foods they actually like them and enjoy them. It is easy to get a jaded pallette.
It is therefor tempting for someone who loves food to be always pushing others onto trying more different and varied foods, in the hopes that they can enjoy those foods as much as you do yourself.

Really it is just like music, if I hear a new band has some similarities to another, that I think is good. I would suggest that band to anyone I knew allready liked the other. Nothing is wrong if they don’t like the new experience, but even an experience that isn’t deliteful is worth trying, thus is the very nature of experience itself.

Someone who only likes a few foods, is just the same as someone who only likes a single genre of music. In both cases I am happy if that is enough for them to enjoy, but non the less I am sorry they can’t enjoy a broader range of such things.

245

::: Sigh:::
In order of posts
Amarinth No, the problem is that he was a picky eater who would not compromise, it had to be his way. If he had not been a picky eater one of the first five restaurants would have been fine by him and everyone would have been happy. If he wasn’t a whiner, he still would have insisted on the food court. Out of courtesy we would have agreed. It is not about him being a whiner, my comment about him being a whiner was in response to why didn’t we override him.
A) We were trying to be nice,
B) We wanted to go where everyone could find something to eat (I don’t like the food at a mall, but I can eat it)
C) We had not seen him in maybe 6 months, and except for the food bit is a great guy, tells great stories. Can be fun to be around.
C) We didn’t want to listen to him whine. The whining is the smallest part of it really. A and B and C were far more important

WOOKPINUB WTF? Perhaps you should read more carefully.

Tell me again how I was being an enabler, because one time we accommodated his wishes for where to go eat.
OK everybody it is official if you go out to dinner with WOOKINPANUP you choose the restaurant. WOOKPINUB gets no say as you do not want to be an enabler. Right got it. :smiley:

Yellowval I said nothing on that night. I am here almost 10 years later and you are telling me I have a stuck whiner valve. :rolleyes: :dubious:

Perhaps I did not make myself fully clear in my post. Sleel did a beautiful job in post #232, allow me to quote the relevant part.

[QUOTE=Sleel]
To I personally don’t really care if someone is a picky eater as long as it doesn’t affect me much. I’m willing to accommodate someone occasionally, but if our plans are always dictated by their tastes, then I’m probably not going to want to be around them much. If it’s possible to find other things to do together then it might be okay, but otherwise it’s pretty likely that I just won’t bother socializing with them. It’s the same with any other relationship. If the compromising only goes one way, the social debt becomes unwieldy, and the only thing you can do is to sever the relationship.

That’s kind of the problem, that it’s sometimes quite difficult to find a place to accommodate everyone. It often ends up being the picky eater who controls everyone else’s choices, because in being sociable they don’t want to exclude that person.
[/QUOTE]

246

I’ve been trying to figure out what has bugged me about this thread. Usually, I leave threads when I leave the computer–but this one has stayed with me.

For me, I think it’s that even with the variety of foods that I consume willingly, I feel inadequate at times when up against the finger pointers who feel compelled to make an issue out of a personal matter.

All it takes is one person saying in tones of shocked disbelief, “you don’t like capers? How could anyone not like capers?”. And then the look–every finicky person here knows that look: semi-pitying, semi-superior. Ugh.

And then the label comes out–“picky eater”. It is such a negative label. I think I’d rather be called a bitch–at least a bitch is considered an adult, and a credible “opponent”. To say “picky eater” cuts the person off at the knees, infantilizes them and marginalizes them, IMO.

And the goalposts keep changing–that drives me nuts. I’m a picky eater to one, not because I eat rumaki, but because I won’t drink sake. But to someone else, rumaki isn’t even part of their vocabulary, but the fact that Mexican food is essentially vomit to me makes me unreasonably finicky.

Why should my tastes concur with anyone else’s at all? Surely they are my business, and if you can’t handle the fact that I won’t eat raw mushrooms, then I think that is your problem.

So, the label sticks in my craw and the whole baggage that comes with it. Foodies and “concerned family members who worry about possible starvation” :rolleyes: --please stop using that term. It does no good and just makes people defensive. Speaking for myself, I cannot be all things to all people, and I think that’s a fool’s errand anyway.
Abide with those who don’t share your food tastes. They may have incredible insights into other aspects of life that dont’ involve digestion.

Just sayin’.

247

[QUOTE=Athena]
And therein lies the issue between those who love food and those who see it only as sustenance.
[/QUOTE]

When my somewhat chubby boss asked her stick thin husband how he could simply eat a portion of food and be happy without going for more or trying all the desserts, his reply to her was:

“Because YOU live to eat, I eat to live”

248

[QUOTE=pizzabrat]
Sugar, yes, but gourmets are fine with fat. It carries flavor and is filling. Do you know any gastronomes who turn their noses up at tempura, or dipping bread in olive oil?
[/QUOTE]

I dislike the whole bread in olive oil thing [or even heavily buttered bread] and I will do tempura but in all honesty I prefer sashimi. mrAru and I will split a veggi tempura and get soup and salad and sashimi, with a little more sashimi and a couple pieces of sushi on the side.

We likes our bait fresh=)

249

[QUOTE=elmwood]
A few questions for the foodies:

  1. If you’re invited to go out with a group of friends, and they decide to go to Applebee’s® or T.G.I. Friday’s®, would you refuse? (“My friends aren’t the kind of people who go to Applebee’s” isn’t a valid answer here.)

  2. If you’re invited to a dinner at someone’s house, and the selection of food heavily leans towards bland, “lowbrow” comfort food, would you go? (“My friends aren’t the kind of people who serve comfort food” isn’t a valid answer here. Let’s assume they’re older relatives or recent transplants from Minnesota, for the sake of argument.) If there were items that you viewed as too downscale or plain, would you avoid or refuse to eat it?

  3. What are the upper limits of your food tolerance? Is there anything you wouldn’t eat? Would you happily gobble up food that normally breaks western society’s food taboos, like dog or cat? Brains? Eyeballs? Insects? Could you get through the eating-something-gross part of Fear Factor? Straight hot sauce in the 1,000,000+ Scoville unit range? Everybody has their limits, I would think.
    [/QUOTE]

I will go to Fridays or applebees, though i have to admit i prefer chilis. Normally corporate cuisine can be to kitschy to appeal, but chilis has some decent stuff.

I have no problem with comfort food - I make an absolutely smashing mac and cheese, basic american style potato salad and a very nice meatloaf, all from my mothers recipes. I can cook with a bechamel sauce, but have been known to make tuna noodle casserole with ‘lutheran binder’ [campbells cream of critter soup, though i found that using the cream of celery appeals more than the cream of chicken in the casserole]

Dog with garlic is actually good, though the serving I had the meat was a bit stringy, but that may have been a function of the age of the dog to start with. Monkey was interesting, and monkey brain tastes just like pig brains. I am not fond of brains though.I dont do the capsaicin torture eating, I dont like burning my mouth. Competetive mouth scalding is for assholes who are too scared to drop trou and directly compare cock size. I have eaten some very hot foods where they blended 5 or 6 types of peppers together to get a specific flavor, and the scoville heat was not the main consideration of ingredient choice. I couldnt get within 3 feet of a slice of durian without wanting to hurk up dinner.

250

[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
And then the label comes out–“picky eater”. It is such a negative label. I think I’d rather be called a bitch–at least a bitch is considered an adult, and a credible “opponent”. To say “picky eater” cuts the person off at the knees, infantilizes them and marginalizes them, IMO.
[/QUOTE]

I agree. Instead of being called a “picky eater”, I prefer to be known for my “discriminating tastes”.

251

This is a funny issue, the main point seems to be where the onus on being polite lies. To me it is totaly up to the guest to be polite. The host put themselves out my inviting the guest and preparing the food. The guest…showed up.

One party has already worked and put themselves in a position of responsibility (the responsibilty to ensure their guest enjoys themselves). When the food is served the responsibility moves to the guest. They are responsible for ensuring that the host feels appreciated.

Sure, turn down the beans while accepting the broccoli (boiled/steamed veggies!) BUT don’t turn down the main course or anything else the host has spent time and energy preparing unless you don’t care about their feelings.

eleanorigby

I seriously DON’T believe your tastes should concur with anyone elses. With good friends we can all say “Mate I really don’t like whatever” if they are good friends of COURSE you should tell them that. The same goes for family (except possibly for the very old members of the family who are still convinced you love something you always hated). My post was more about being invited to dinner somewhere new (why wouldn’t your friends know your tastes?).

If I am invited for the FIRST time to someones house I don’t give a shit if they serve rare goats balls on a bed of rancid seaweed…I WILL eat enough of the meal to make them feel like I appreciated their hospitality. I may be “full” fairly early into the meal BUT I will have given my host the feeling of appreciation.
Guinastasia

I suspect you and I suspect the same thing about SOME allergies. There is a difference between an allergy and an unpleasant taste or something that “bothers your stomach”. If your mother is visiting friends or relations I’m sure they all know about what bothers her, if she is going to a resturant then she can choose something that doesn’t bother her. If she is going to someones house for the first time, I suggest she sucks it up and grins through the bother.

It IS very rude to decline food a host prepared for you (outside of close friends and relatives). The onus is on the host to make the guest feel comfortable, the onus is on the guest to make the host feel like they have been successful.

252

[QUOTE=Phase42]
I agree. Instead of being called a “picky eater”, I prefer to be known for my “discriminating tastes”.
[/QUOTE]
I am so with you here.

It’s a bummer to not like seafood. I’ve tried it, and continue to try it. My Wife loves it.

The funniest thing I see is when someone asks me to taste a piece of fish proclaiming “It doesn’t taste like fish at all” discriminating palete indeed. Why does ‘good’ fish not taste like fish to these folks? Why does ‘good’ fish not taste fishy?

WTF? It’s fish. What’s it supposed to taste like? Tastes like fish to me.

253

[QUOTE=calm kiwi]
Guinastasia

I suspect you and I suspect the same thing about SOME allergies. There is a difference between an allergy and an unpleasant taste or something that “bothers your stomach”. If your mother is visiting friends or relations I’m sure they all know about what bothers her, if she is going to a resturant then she can choose something that doesn’t bother her. If she is going to someones house for the first time, I suggest she sucks it up and grins through the bother.

It IS very rude to decline food a host prepared for you (outside of close friends and relatives). The onus is on the host to make the guest feel comfortable, the onus is on the guest to make the host feel like they have been successful.
[/QUOTE]

Actually, under the guidlines you’re using, lots of people with an allergy should go ahead and eat what’s served too. A great deal of people do not get a life threatening reaction from eating stuff that they’re allergic to.

Aside: the first thing I thought of when people were saying they’d eat anything, was the poster who made menstrual blood cookies.

Yea, that’s right up there with: “I put ___ in the dish, and I know you don’t like that ingredient, but try it anyway. You won’t even be able to tast the ___!”

254

[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
Seems to me that the comprise is only going one way. If you insist on Mexican or sushi and don’t allow anyone a call or say–how is that any different?
[/QUOTE]

No, the compromise is not one way on my part. You must have skipped where I said that I am willing to compromise occasionally, but that if I always have to accommodate their wishes to the exclusion of my own, then I’m not going to be very willing to maintain the relationship.

Relationships are built on reciprocity. If one person always has the veto power, it’s not a reciprocal relationship. Picky eaters often end up wielding the veto power. I’m not willing to be socially ruled by someone, so I’m more than likely to just walk away from the relationship unless there’s some compelling reason I should allow myself to be controlled by them.

Unlike a lot of other people that the picky eaters are complaining about in this thread, I don’t force anybody to do anything. If someone is happy eating potatoes with nothing on them and well-done steak, that’s fine for them. I’m just not going to be going to dinner with that person unless I feel like eating that kind of food. And if we have no other interests to bring us together, I don’t have any reason to keep hanging around.

255

[QUOTE=enipla]
I am so with you here.

It’s a bummer to not like seafood. I’ve tried it, and continue to try it. My Wife loves it.
[/quote]

heh I like some of the “common” fish like cod (beer battered), tuna (in a sandwich or casserole) and salmon (smoked), but that’s about it. I don’t like river fish at all - trout, steelhead, etc. My dad is fatally allergic to all shellfish (except oysters, for some reason) and so I didn’t grow up eating that. As a result, I never developed a taste for it. I’m told I make a fantastic clam chowder, but I just have to take people’s word for it because I won’t eat it. I hate it when I have to make a shrimp salad when I’m cooking, because even fresh, it smells to me like something’s gone bad. I tried shrimp once or twice when I was younger (when my dad wasn’t around) and thought it tasted vaguely like dirt, and I found the texture repulsive.

One place I cooked had oyster nachos on the menu, and I just about vomited from the smell every time I had to make it.

My dad is an avid hunter, and he always thought it was funny when people claimed they didn’t like venison because it tasted to “gamey”. One lady asked him how to get rid of that gamey taste, and he said the best technique is to go to the store and buy beef. I don’t like venison either. Every hunter I’ve ever talked to about it says the same thing: “You gotta know how to cook it right!” Well, I guess I haven’t met anybody yet who knows how to do that, because it tastes like crap to me no matter who cooks it.

256

[QUOTE=Omega Glory]
Actually, under the guidlines you’re using, lots of people with an allergy should go ahead and eat what’s served too. A great deal of people do not get a life threatening reaction from eating stuff that they’re allergic to.
[/QUOTE]

You are correct. A GREAT DEAL of people do not get a life threatening reaction from eating stuff that they are allergic to! They possibly get an upset tummy. They perhaps get the trots. The point is they MAY get mild/medium discomfort. It ain’t fucking killing them! How allergic can they be? NOT VERY!

[QUOTE=Omega Glory]

Aside: the first thing I thought of when people were saying they’d eat anything, was the poster who made menstrual blood cookies
[/QUOTE]
.

I can’t speak for menstural blood cookies. I was thinking more about those people who are allergic to fish…execpt for canned salmon, canned tuna or McFillet. Or those people who merrily eat chocolate when they have a peanut allergy (EVERY chocolate packet here say “may contain traces of nut”).

257

[QUOTE=Sleel]

Unlike a lot of other people that the picky eaters are complaining about in this thread, I don’t force anybody to do anything. If someone is happy eating potatoes with nothing on them and well-done steak, that’s fine for them. I’m just not going to be going to dinner with that person unless I feel like eating that kind of food. And if we have no other interests to bring us together, I don’t have any reason to keep hanging around.
[/QUOTE]

I dont’ get this at all–so, the ONLY items on the menu are well done steak and potatos with nothing on them? Why does it matter so much what is on someone else’s plate? You can’t order your steak rare and put some sour cream or bleu cheese on that spud?

I hear about the compromise, but it seems to me that it is the less discriminating eaters who want to control the agenda here.

(and thank you, phase42 for that lovely descriptive phrase–shoe’s on the other foot, now)

258

[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
I dont’ get this at all–so, the ONLY items on the menu are well done steak and potatos with nothing on them? Why does it matter so much what is on someone else’s plate? You can’t order your steak rare and put some sour cream or bleu cheese on that spud?

I hear about the compromise, but it seems to me that it is the less discriminating eaters who want to control the agenda here.
[/QUOTE]

You seem to want to willfully misconstrue everything everyone says to you. Who has control issues here?

It was an example. If I don’t feel like eating steak and potatoes, I’m not going to knuckle under every time to someone who only only wants to eat at places that can provide such food when eating out.

Read carefully now: I DON’T CARE what someone eats, as long as I don’t have to eat it too. The only crap any picky eater will ever get from me is if they try to control what I eat or if they make me socially uncomfortable. Those are the very situations you were complaining about earlier.

The earlier example of a woman who felt the need to dictate to the cook every element of her meal would have gotten a comment from me not because of her picky eating, but because of her rudeness. Actually, in that situation, I can see myself explaining why I thought that was rude, getting up, and leaving instead of commenting. Life is too short to associate with people who are so incompatible with me. Similarly, I wouldn’t eat another meal with someone who yelled at waiter (barring extreme and deliberate provocation on the part of the waiter) or got belligerently drunk in public. If you want to violate the social norms so that you can get food to your taste, you can do so without my company.

If I invited someone to my house for dinner, and they didn’t eat any of the meal provided and didn’t inform me of any dietary restrictions beforehand, or if I was unwilling or unable to cook to their taste, I probably would not extend another invitation. I would not make any snarky comments, or try to get them to eat something, I would just not have dinner with them again. There’s no force involved, no unsolicited advice, no nasty comments, nothing like that. I will simply not associate with them. They’d be happier going to someone else’s place for dinner anyway, and I’d be happier without having a guest who won’t appreciate what I made.

259

Skipped everything after about halfway through page two (won’t be able to finish reading all of this until probably this weekend), but quick background:

I had a tapeworm in my stomach when I was a wee lad. Took doctors a while to figure out why everything I ate was coming out of both ends so often, but by the time one finally did, it was too late. A four year old can’t grasp the concept of a parasite causing sickness, and I pretty much associated vomiting with many of the foods I ate. Now, even though I know better, I simply can’t eat things outside of my limited diet (even if, like steak, they smell great).

There are foods that I enjoy eating, some that I really enjoy, but none can come close to how much I love watching football. A million burgers stacked on top of a million pizza stacked on top of a blow job couldn’t compare to watching LSU win a national championship in ‘03. The thing that will amaze some of you in this thread is that gasp I have friends (including males) who don’t care for sports. Not only that, but I’ve never questioned or bothered them for it, nor claimed that they “throw a wrench into the social machine”. Amazingly, these friends and my fellow sports lovers have managed to coincide at gatherings that revolved around a sporting event. We talk of things that have nothing to do with athletics, and, when the matchups get intense enough to draw the sporties’ attention away from speaking with the non-sporties, they manage to get by for the time being until the game is over or there is a commercial, even when there is but one non-sportie in a room full of my kind.

The fact that no one else can possibly taste what foods I’m putting in my own mouth just makes it baffling to me that people make such a big deal of it. Many of my friends know my eating habits. When they head out to a resturaunt, they invite me. If I pass, they aren’t offended. If I accept, I booze it up at the table and the social aspect remains identical to what it would be had I eaten. Considering that food is a bigger part of culture here than it is anywhere else in the U.S, I think that says a lot about those of you who break a monocle over someone’s diet.