What happens to incredibly picky eaters in adulthood?

In My Humble Opinion
61

Not that I notice.

I’m willing to try almost any food - it’s just that frequently, I don’t like it very mcuh. At restaurants, when I’m paying, I’m more likely to go with something I’m pretty sure I’ll like because spending money on something that I won’t like feels like throwing money away.

I think so. Often times I’ve heard people say “you can’t even taste the __________” yes, I can. It’s right there, fouling the food. And I’m very texture sensitive. I have a problem with sauces - wet, slimy, mushy food is not good.

Only bleu cheese - and that I’ll eat today.

Nope.

Nope.

I don’t care what you eat. I don’t complain about what people eat. I can usually find something on almost any menu. I’m more there to enjoy people’s company - I’m interested in their thoughts and ideas and lives, all of which seems to me to be far more important than liking the same food.

At someone’s house, I’ll take small portions, try everything, and mutter some words about “calorie restricted diet - but it’s so delicious, I wish I could have more.”

62

This is another case that is far more extreme than mine (yeah, I’m not the pickiest anymore!)and I can see where your frustration comes in.My big question is regarding the part about if he didn’t like something, he just wouldn’t eat it. What else should he do?

I don’t know that I’d classify his dislike of different foods as “behavior”.

I don’t see why it has to create conflict. If you have enough other positive things going in your relationship, you simply accept that dining together isn’t going to be one of the prominent ones. If you can eat almost anything and he can’t /won’t eat most things, then you settle for something that while it may not thrill you, won’t make you retch. Did he have any hobbies that you didn’t care to participate in? Did he hold it against you because you didn’t want to watch NASCAR or whatever with him? To me, it’s the same kind of thing. As far as not being able to cook for him being one less way to show you cared, that’s all about you. I had this same argument with an ex. What I could never make him understand is that I don’t equate food with gifts. At least not once the “giver” knows my lack of interest in all things culinary. You were bummed because you couldn’t lavish your wonderful cooking on him, but in realty he couldn’t have cared less about that particular “gift”.

This is truly a sweet thing to say :slight_smile: I don’t mean to discount your thoughtfulness, but again, while I may know that you(generic you) consider your food and the preparation thereof a gift to me (generic me), if you truly knew me you’d know that I wouldn’t enjoy it, and having to pretend to do so is not going to result in good times for either one of us.

I agree, though I don’t know who said people shouldn’t put an emotional attachment on food. I’ve only wanted to explain that some of usdon’t, and I question why everyone else can’t just let it go at that, without passing judgement.

Does this mean I’m obligated to accept every social invitation that is offered to me? And is there any way for me or someone like me to even win in this situation?
If I accept but don’t eat I’m an ass, and if I turn you down I’m an ass. People that know me aren’t going to be upset by my absence because they’re not going to invite me to something they know I’ll not enjoy.

63

It goes without saying? Well, if it goes it certainly goes without that definition you linked to,'cause I’m not reading anything about food there.

I was just thinking what a nice informative thread this has been. No converts to either side, obviously, but it was nice to actually have people try to explain their views on what in my opinion should be a non-issue.

64

There’s a lot of posts in here already, but I have been worried about my daughter for some time now and hope someone here has some advice beyond “oh, she’ll grow out of it. Don’t worry.”

My daughter is 8. She eats only a handful of foods:

Canned pasta (Zoodles and the like)
Cheese sandwiches on white bread (grilled or plain)
French fries
Mashed potatoes
Cottage cheese
Bananas
One or two kids sugary breakfast cereals
White toast w/butter
Soda crackers
Mild marbled cheddar
Yogurt (Strawberry, Peach, and Banana only)
Canned peaches
Strawberries
…and every once in a while we can get some lasagna into her. (Only because I don’t think she yet realizes that the “brown bits” are ground beef.)

Drinks are:

Chocolate milk
Apple juice
Some other fruit punch/juices, and
Water.

That is the extent of her repertoire. No meat, no vegetables, limited fruit.

She’s starting to tell us she won’t eat meat because of the animal connection. Great, an 8 year old who thinks she’s a vegetarian, except she doesn’t eat vegetables.

Of course everyone has told us she’ll grow out of it, don’t worry. Well I do worry. My wife is a picky eater too, but at least eats SOME vegetables and SOME meats. I will eat almost anything, and so will my 7 year old son.

We’ve tried forcing her to try stuff. After a major struggle she puts it in her mouth and then sits there as her eyes well up in tears, and her mouth fills up with saliva until she finally spits it out. Short of starving her for a month until she either dies or finally eats something like a hot dog, hamburger, ham, chicken, vegetables, etc. I don’t know what to do.

Maybe I should have started a new thread, but this seemed to follow suit.

Anyone had any similar experiences with kids and some magical solutions?

65

If I had friends who were super-picky eaters, I’d either:

  1. Try to find some activity to do together that doesn’t involve food. Sort of like I’d appreciate any sports fan or scrapbooker friends of mine finding an activity to do with me that didn’t involve sports or scrapbooking.

  2. If we were doing something that did involve food, I’d try to make sure they had something they could eat, be that vegetarian, kosher, or plain pasta with no sauce. I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it unless they did, or unless they expected me to figure out what they would and wouldn’t eat without their telling me. Just because I’ve never seen you eat anything other than a grilled cheese sandwich on white bread doesn’t mean I’ll know you want me to fix you one- for all I know, you eat other stuff when I’m not around.

66

Don’t do that. It will turn it into a power struggle, which will just make things worse.

Ask her why she doesn’t like the foods she doesn’t like. She might not be able to tell you, but then again she might. The problem might be taste, or it might be texture.

Either way, try cooking some of the things that she won’t eat in a different way. Get fresh instead of frozen or canned (and find a good cookbook to tell you the best ways to prepare them). Try using more, less, or different seasonings or sauces. Or try giving her cooked vegetables instead of raw, or vice versa. There are quite a few foods that I would never have touched at home, but now I willingly eat them because they’re not prepared the same way they were at home, which I didn’t like because of taste or texture issues.

67

Done it all to death. I think texture is a big part of it. Look at all the soft and sweet stuff in the list. She has it in her head that she doesn’t like anything except what she considers on the list. She won’t try anything new, or differently prepared. She sits and drools until we all give in and open a can of pasta or something.

Ooops, forgot Kraft Dinner on the list. One more item. Yay.

68

BTW, its not a lack of interest in food (as in speaking about it or cooking it) that I believe people find so off-putting and “monkey-brain wrong”, but actually a lack of interest in eating it. Eating “fancy” type food and cooking extravagantly are basically hobbies, which not everyone (or even most people) enjoy. Eating, period, is a basic drive for the human animal. To view it with apparent distaste is outside the norm, not only for our “culture” but for our species.

It’s the diference between “I don’t like golf” and “I don’t like sex” (although, you should read the asexuality thread that came up a few weeks back!).

Simply put your behavior violates a norm regarding human nature so ingrained that most people cannot begin to imagine feeling as you do.

I believe that for the vast majority of people, these feelings about food and Picky Eaters™ are both deeply held and primarily unconscious. They probably could not formulate any rational reason for their reaction to this trait as negative. They might get as a far as “it’s rude” or possibly “it’s strange” and then get stumped as to why. In fact, most of the people on this thread have had a hard time communicating their thoughts about this issue!

69

This is a fascinating thread. Food, eating, and the human relationship with food and with each other in regard to food is so complex.

From a purely biological standpoint, picky eaters/people uninterested in food are not further evolved, but more of a genetic dead-end. As hunter-gatherers, our ancestors would have eaten everything that didn’t eat them first. If our society were to break down, the survivors would be the ones who again eat everything they can get their hands on. I’m not making any moral judgement on picky eaters; just saying that in this regard, you aren’t as viable as a widely omnivorous human being. :smiley:

As for the sociological aspects of food and dining, well, you could (and I’m sure people have) write many theses on that subject. I know that in my background (Northern European) and probably most backgrounds, welcoming guests with food is absolutely something that must be done. My grandmother (and probably mother) would have been mortified to think that anyone left their table hungry.

As for the sense of smell and taste being elevated in picky eaters, I’m one of the least picky eaters I know, and I have a superb sense of smell and taste. Being able to smell and taste so well enhances my food experiences; I don’t just like foods, I LOOOOVE them. I try not to judge people who don’t care about food or don’t like many foods, but I will never understand how people can disregard something that I take so much exquisite pleasure in. Threads like this are great, because it gives me an opportunity to see that picky eaters aren’t just being difficult; hard as it is for me to imagine, they truly don’t care about something I care so much about.

70

For me, the food thing would be a deal breaker. I’m don’t expect my mate to share every interest of mine, but food is so far-reaching and such a love of mine that I would have a really hard time living with someone living by choice on a heavily restricted diet, or even a moderately restricted diet.

I just couldn’t imagine spending an afternoon cooking a really delightful meal, matching it with the perfect wine, and not having someone who would sit down and truly enjoy it with me. I would probably go bonkers and throw things at him if he refused to eat it because it had <some food he didn’t like> in it.

And no, before someone asks, I wouldn’t divorce Mr. Athena if he suddenly developed a medical condition that restricted him to white bread, frozen pizzas, and canned green beans for the rest of his life. He would still be a foodie at heart, and he would understand it, even if he couldn’t partake of it. It’s the whole idea of completely not appreciating something that I love so much that would be a deal-breaker for me.

(I’m not trying to make a point that this is right or logical or anything - people reject potential mates because of dumber things all the time (too short/tall, too fat/thin, smokes/doesn’t smoke, doesn’t make enough money, etc). Just pointing out that eating habits can be a deal breaker for some people.)

71

Leaffan, I know you’re only acting out of concern and possibly frustration, but please don’t try to force her to eat anything. My parents used to try the old "you’ll sit at this table until you eat what’s on your plate " tactic. Flash to the sun coming up over yon horizon as a young Wook stares disdainlfully at her congealed mac and cheese. Some people are just very sensitive about what they can / will eat. If your concern is mainly about her getting the proper nutrients(as well it should be),will she take vitamins, or maybe drink those vitamin enriched drinks? I’m not a parent so I don’t have all the scoop on that kind of stuff. If your concern is that she’s somehow handicapping herself because she doesn’t want to try stuff, all I can say is that I hope this is the worst thing you ever have to deal with in regard to her. I think it’s exactly as many have already told you; she’ll grow out of it. Or, she won’t. I just don’t think you have that much control over it.
Good luck and please try not to fret too much. Millions of kids since the dawn of time have been uber picky and it will work itself out one way or another.

72

Hmmm, but a non-picky eater would have been the first to try those tempting looking let lethal berries, right? I think picky eating is a logical adaptation and we have picky eating in this country because we can be chosy about what we eat. There’s a wealth of food so easily obtainable that a person can usually eat exactly what they want when they want. If a picky eater ever experienced real hunger, I think a lot of their objections would vanish.**

**I say this as a fairly picky eater myself who has gotten slightly less picky with age but I still ain’t gonna eat squash.

73

I have a picky eating co-worker whose daily menu is a plain bagel and coffe for breakfast, a pint of chocolate chip ice cream for lunch, and an all vegetable salad and wine for dinner. Nothing else ever. Yet she remains healthy.

She’ll gladly come to your house at mealtime, provided you provide for her.

I guess it’s okay to be a picky eater, provided you don’t go off on people who actually eat. I’m a strict vegetarian, but I’ll gladly go to your house and eat whatever I can. The worst experience was a dinner where the main entre was an entire roasted pig.

74

They probably had food taboos just like cultures today do. Some Alaskan Eskimos had fairly elaborate food taboos when they lived by hunting and gathering. Hunters and gatherers do have cultures, and cultures generally include at least some food taboos.

And those of you who can eat whatever you want and not gain any weight will be at a disadvantage, too- it would be advantageous to store as much energy in the form of fat from the food you eat as possible.

One theory about the original purpose of the Jewish kosher laws is that they were intended to keep Jews from sharing meals with non-Jews, which would provide a barrier to assimilation.

75

Picky eaters are like people in wheelchairs?

WTH?
Gee, thanks for you kind invite to the mutual admiration society you call a dinner party-I thought it was reason for all of us to get together and talk about Things. I have no interest in discussing the merits of using sweated basil vs fresh in the vodka sauce. I really don’t want to hear about the mouthfeel of the peppers in vinagrette or the fleshy tactility of the turbot–oh, it tastes like they added peppercorns AND lime…Oy. :rolleyes:
I do want a complimentary wine, but please don’t natter on and on about the vintage, the price, the very ground it came out of. Who cares?

Not me. I hafta agree with this:

Seems to me this issue is more about control than eating. Sorry, but you don’t get to control my eating or my pleasure/apathy of it. I would love to join you in a conversation that does not revolve around the pasta/espresso maker or the cost of saffron.

I can pretty much find something at any thing I go to (I’m not frequenting sushi bars anyway).

All this talk about picky eaters dissing the more sophisticated folk–balderdash. I was raised the you do eat what is put in front of you, but a good host never comments on what is not consumed. There are so many variable today–it’s not easy to put together a dinner party where at least one guest doesn’t ahve some type of dietary restriction, be it medical or wt loss oriented.

76

Well yes, because like people in wheelchairs, those of us who are picky eaters just enjoy life so much less. Almost makes me wonder why life is worth living. :rolleyes:

77

I certainly wouldn’t say anything about someone else eating something non-kosher. Or if they’re just eating something icky- I won’t tell them how much the texture of the cottage cheese they’re eating reminds me of vomit or anything like that.

On the other hand, I will consider it rude if they make a big deal out of what I’m not eating.

But you’d make at least some effort to find out what that person did and didn’t eat before going to all that effort, wouldn’t you?

78

There’s only one kind of Picky Eater I can’t stand- the kind my sister is. She will never try anything new, claims she likes Italian food, but really means she likes macaroni and sauce. I couldn’t care less what she eats- right up until the point where she complained that I didn’t make macaroni and sauce for Thanksgiving dinner. I try to avoid sitting near her at family weddings, etc, because she always has some kind of complaint about not getting " Italian food". Apparently, she believes that everyone must plan their menu with her pickiness in mind.

79

I don’t think it’s that picky eaters have an elevated sense of smell and/or taste in general, just an elevated sense of smell and/or taste for certain flavors or smells. That could throw off the balance of flavors that the rest of us get from whatever food, and make it taste unpleasant. For example, some people think cilantro tastes like soap. I don’t taste anything that I would describe as being like soap when I eat cilantro. They’re sensitive to whatever it is that tastes like soap in cilantro, I’m not. Or some people taste the bitterness in things like broccoli much more than others, so the unpleasant bitter taste overwhelms the other flavors of the broccoli. I don’t think celery really tastes like much of anything, but Mr. Neville can instantly tell if there’s celery in something (he doesn’t like celery).

80

Well I agree she sounds like a pain in the ass, but I think this may go beyond the picky eater part. One can be particular about their food and still act like a mature adult. Yes, its true. As far as never trying anything new; so what?