What I know about American homes from the movies

I do too and I haven’t seen the metal trays, either. Styrofoam seems to be ubiquitous, although my Thai place will package the rice in a carton.

Movie houses are very well soundproofed. One can never hear outdoor traffic, the neighbors lawn mower, a plane passing overhead. . . even when the windows are open.

There’s never a fly buzzing around the kitchen. Never a spider climbing up a wall.

There’s never any chipped or worn paint. Those wooden floors never squeak, unless it’s to give away someone sneaking someplace. The doors never stick in humid weather. The drawers slide out easily, and whatever is needed from a drawer its right there in the front.

I mean husband and wife in the same bed.

Every house with a “quirky” family has a mysterious poltergeist that makes raucous whooping, braying sounds the moment a family member or friend walks in the door: although the householders affect to be unaware of this presence, they will indulge it by pausing for a few seconds after they say anything to give it a chance to whoop afresh.

In Annie Hall there was not only a spider in the bathroom which freaks Annie out, there’s also a lobster behind the refrigerator!

In my entire life, I’ve never known anyone who insisted that shoes not be worn in their home. It would never occur to me to take my shoes off without being asked. In my own home I wear flip-flops, but that’s just because they’re more comfortable, so if I go out I change as soon as I get home.
As far as multiple phones, it didn’t used to be that way when phones were expensive and you had to get them directly from the phone company and pay extra for it. Nowadays, phones are VERY cheap, and you can have as many as you want. My husband and I live in a 3 bedroom apartment (one bedroom for sleeping, one is used as a computer room, and the 3rd is used for storage/hubby’s workshop), and we have several phones. We each have one in the computer room (we each have our own computer), we each have one in the bedroom, on both sides of the bed, there’s one in the kitchen, one in the bathroom and one in the living room. We have a couple of older phones that aren’t hooked up but that we could hook up at any time (one of them we keep specifically in case the electricity goes out). The 6 phones that are hooked up are all wireless. Plus, and I guess this counts, my husband has a cell phone for his work. Only 3-4 people have that number.

What’s weird is that we’re not phone people and rarely talk on the phone. It’s just that if the phone does ring, we hate having to run to answer it. We both grew up in multi-story homes that had exactly one phone, and hated having to tear through the house to get to the phone. Also, he travels a lot and I always want a phone nearby to make sure I catch his calls. That’s the main reason why there’s a phone in the bathroom. It isn’t that we want to talk while we’re on the pot (we don’t, because it’s weird), but because I want to hear the phone ring if I’m in the shower.

Let’s see, what else…
We always buy milk in gallon jugs (husband eats a lot of cereal).
We don’t own a car.
We have all wooden floors (had wall-to-wall in the living room of our previous apt.)
We only have one refrigerator, but we have a stand-alone upright freezer in the kitchen.
We have a large eat-in kitchen with a breakfast table.
We only have one bathroom, and it’s tiny.
We don’t have a TV set in the living room, we have an overhead projector and huge screen. It’s a movie theater more than a living room.
Every house I’ve ever lived in with siding has had horizontal slats. I can’t even imagine what vertical slats look like!

Let’s put this to rest: Pic. Another. And another.

[horrified] Gaah! But shoes have been outside, where they’ve trodden in mud, dogshit, dead beetles, and God knows what else. You have people clumping through the house treading all manner of filthy goobies on the floor? [/horrified]

Mirrored above-sink medicine cabinets are never owned by people with happy lives.

When interior decorators are good, they are very good. When they’re bad, they’re VERY bad.

Pretty much the only time you close the curtains or blinds is when you’re going on a bender.

Even on a recognizable console, if you can’t see the screen, people play video games that don’t, can’t, or haven’t existed for years.

If you’d seen my floor, you’d know why one puts shoes on before walking on it. :smiley:

Yeah, that’s true: you’ll see a kid with a Playstation, and the sound effects and music for the game are from Elevator Action.

Maybe they’re all nostalgia freaks who buy anthology discs?

Maybe not.

Well, you’re abviously not American then, likely you are an Al Quaeda sleeper agent. QED. Case closed.

You’re stranded in the jungle and you’re worried about what we will track in?
Are you planning on eating off your floor? Having sex on it? A floor is supposed to get dirty-that’s why it’s a floor. Now, if you don’t want me to track stuff onto the carpet, that’s another story.

No, it’s just easier to clean than a carpet. I’d prefer the floor to be dirty if I had to choose between the two, but neither is *meant *to be dirty, obviously.

All the phone number begin with 555, presumbly this is a fake code.

A couple of school ones:

All the classes in school have the old fashioned seating method, ie: all children sitting sigularly or in pairs, facing front. Whereas in documentaries I’ve seen most children sitting as they do in England - in groups around tables.

All schools are grand buildings, landscaped at the front. The schools I’ve known in the US are not like that, though I’m sure they exist.

All lessons last about 2 minutes in sitcoms: teacher comes in, settles the class, starts a lesson, a couple gags, bell goes for end of lesson, as the pupils leave (without being dismissed), the teacher calls out “don’t forget your assignments…”.

And lastly, one that may be true and was often seen on TV in the 70s: everyone carried their food shopping in 3 or 4 large brown paper bags. No handles on the bags to carry them, they had to hugged as the harrased tried to unlock their front door. As children we could never understand why there were no handles on the carriers.

And no one ever puts cream and sugar in their coffee, unless it’s to put an absurd amount of sugar in it, for comic effect.
Everyone drinks their coffee black.

Damn, I hit ‘submit’ too soon.

I’ve never seen a TV or movie kitchen with two fridges, but we have two. One in the kitchen and one in the basement. We have an upright freezer and an extra fridge in the utility room in the basement. We call it a ‘beer fridge,’ but it holds sodas, too.
We got it for free.

Gah! You beat me to it! Just once, I’d like an in-show videogame to sound undeniably like Halo or somesuch.

With the exception of the news with plot-pertinent stories, televisions invariably show old black-and-white movies. Nobody ever watches sitcoms or Law and Order etc. .

Any house with at least one child has too few bathrooms. Every morning, there’s a squabble over who gets to use the bathroom next, who’s taking too long in the bathroom, or who used all the hot water. Nobody ever tries to work out a set schedule.

The mother of the household always prepares a big breakfast for her husband and children. One is usually running late and only has time for a single bite of toast; the rest is left on the table. The mother lays the breakfast out on the table, even if her husband or child clearly won’t have time to eat it. 87% of television breakfasts go uneaten.

Pizza is never ordered from a well-known chain. It rarely looks appetizing, even when freshly-delivered.

Schools are huge complexes, each with a massive stadium, track, olympic-sized swimming pool, closed-circuit student-made morning news show, and a massive gymnasium to boot. No library.

That always jumps out at me for some reason - on sitcoms, they’ll order pizza and when the characters pick up the slices, instead of the slices flopping over (which they would do if they were hot and fresh), they’ll stiff and hard. It’s obvious the ‘stunt pizza’ is old and has been sitting around for hours while they’ve done multiple takes. I always feel a little sorry for the actors for having to eat nasty cold pizza like it’s tasty and good.

Nasty cold pizza? That’s pizza at it’s best! Preferably after it’s been sitting on the counter all night. Chase that with some fried chicken (also set out for the night) and you have the ideal Sunday morning food.