What I Learned On My Summer Vacation

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Here’s a few Great Truths I’ve learned from my last few trips…feel free to add your own

  1. Driving on the left side of the road in England isn’t really all that hard, unless you are really tired and looking for a parking place.

  2. It’s a good thing that English rental car companies require you to buy the insurance.

  3. English people are nice to you even when you cause them to be in an accident.

  4. When you wreck the English rental company’s brand new Mercedes A-Class car, they aren’t inclined to find you another automatic.

  5. If you have gone so far that you need to pee in the woods, you have gone too far.

  6. Don’t buy a book telling you how to dig a trench in which to do your business; this will imply that you are willing to dig a trench in which to do your business.

  7. No matter how close you get to the top of the mountain, you are always 15 minutes away from the top.

  8. Rocks are slippery when wet.

  9. Slugs like to congregate inside an upturned canoe overnight.

  10. If you say you don’t want to go under the bridge you are definitely going under the bridge. Assume the fetal position so you won’t hit your head.

  11. Taking a bicycle through the lobby of a fancy hotel in Lake Tahoe looks strange.

  12. Driving in Boston is scary.

  13. If you spend 15 minutes driving around and around a hotel in Boston, when you finally find a way to get to the front door you won’t care if it is the wrong door. In fact, you won’t care if you block a city bus while figuring it out.

  14. If you are on vacation and are participating an activity where at the end you are relieved to see you car, this is not a vacation.

2

Just reading your OP, I have to assume that if you were driving on the wrong side of the road in England and ended up in Boston, you had a hell of a vacation! :stuck_out_tongue:

3

  1. Never get motel advice from a gay, single man who loves to party if you are a straight, single woman traveling with two small children. Odds are very good that you will get no sleep at all.

  2. The drive home is always faster than the drive there.

  3. When your car overheats after 15 minutes of driving while pulling a trailer, the problem is not necessarily just the trailer. Do not believe any mechanic who says it is.

  4. A good test of a relationship is how you both react on a three-state trip with a radiator that overheats every 100 miles.

  5. Just because a man is trained as an Army Battalion Motor Officer does not mean he knows anything about thermostats. That is what fathers are for.

  6. Classical music is the only way to survive a trip with children of any age. Music doth have powers to soothe the little savages.

4

ooh, ooh, remembered another one!

  1. When you finally give up looking for a “better price” and pull over to buy gas, the very next gas station at the very next exit will be 25 cents cheaper.
5

Ooh, I’ve got a few:

  1. Sheep are only cute if there are fewer than 1,000 of them and they are not surrounding you on all sides.

  2. Conversations with the Town Drunk are always interesting, but if he kisses you it’s time to move on.

  3. Try not to sleep in places where you will be awakened by half a dozen small Irish children kicking you in the head, but if you MUST do so, go easy on the Guinness the night before.

  4. Avoid buses full of survivalists. They don’t smell so good.

  5. Sometimes you will need to see the foreign language menu to figure out the English menu.

  6. “Spicy sauce” is Czech for ketchup.

  7. “Chef’s special” is Welsh for chicken curry with maraschino cherries. This is actually better than it sounds.

  8. “Pompiers” is definitely NOT French for “outside line.”

There are probably some others, but those are the ones that come to mind.