And although there are a few things that aren’t perfect I’m not going to get too nitpicky.
But my edit would have two relatively minor changes:
a) delete a few seconds of dialogue between Anakin and the emporer as Anakin pledges allegiance to him. The main criticism I have is that he crossed the last line a bit too easily (and yes I know what he would have been thinking re padme and Mace but it was just a tad too simple). Especially since he’d been almost likable in a few scenes up till now (will wonders never cease?).
What I would have liked is to see him just keep the “Just show me how to save Padme” lines and leave out the direct pledge there and then. Show his determination to save her and how that selfishness combined with raw emotions of what follows makes him more vulnerable to the Dark Side and drives him over the line finally of course.
Have him not quite see himself as an apprentice at first but just someone doing something to achieve an end. Having Yoda later refer to him in absence as an apprentice would have been even better then as it would have highlighted that, to an outsider, an apprentice is what he truly was.
Then when Anakin awakes and finds he’s lost his loved one he has nothing to live for in his mind and the journey is complete as the snare finally closes.
Which brings me to the second change…
b) What the hell is with the corny NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ??? Just have him yell/scream in anguish. Preferably like an animal.
Minor changes but it would have improved it IMHO.
Either show more of the Wookie battle or get rid of it. Just when it looks like it’s gearing up to be the second coming of Saving Private Ryan, it’s gone. For a long time. And when we come back to it, it’s all but over.
Snip Yoda’s line about “good relations with the Wookies, I have.” It’s unintentionally humorous and unneccesary.
I would have cut the “Tarzan” yell. I get that it was a nod to the one in RotJ and it’s supposed to be cute and funny. It isn’t, at least it’s not clever enough to compensate for pulling the viewer out of the action momentarily.
And I agree that an anguished roar would have been better than “nooooooo!”
The biggest specific complaint I have is with the Palpatine vs. Mace-and-3-other-jedi scene. After the preview, which shows an AWESOME shot of Palpatine suddenly lunging out of his chair, I was super-psyched for this scene, but it ended up just not working at all. We know that Jedi have incredible skills and reflexes, and Palpatine seems to kill three of them in a rather slow and bored fashion just by stabbing them casually, with no fireworks or anything. A big letdown. The rest of Palpatine vs. Mace is OK, although not as good as Yoda vs. anyone or Annakin vs. Obi Wan.
Also, what the heck does Qui-Gon have to do with anything? We know that he died without doing the vanish that Obi Wan and Yoda did. But Vader also died that way, and he came back in glowy form. So, that whole deal is still somewhat confusing.
Also, given how much everyone hates Midichlorians, you’d think they’d have to have some big payoff, and they end up being totally irrelevant.
Finally, how did Obi Wan go from looking at security footage of Annakin slaughtering Jedi to looking at security footage of Sidious calling Annakin his apprentic? Did Sidious come to the Jedi temple after the slaughter just so he could be caught on camera?
Perhaps Anakin’s spirit communes with Obi-Wan’s and/or Qui-Gon’s? After all, Qui-Gon figured out how to do it after he died.
Well, there is speculation by some fans that perhaps Palpatine’s manipulation of midichlorians (which he learned from his ‘master’ who he killed in his sleep) created Anakin in Shmi’s womb. Though no exact proof for that.
It could have been a hologram of Palpy checking in to see if everything was done.
Downgrade Grievous, he’s a distraction. Make him Dooku’s #1 bodyguard.
Make Dooku last a bit longer. Poor Christopher Lee. That’s two trilogies that he’s been wasted in the third part of.
Make Anakin’s fall more gradual. In one scene he’s rescuing his friend from being summarily executed by a hypocritical Jedi, in the next he’s massaccring children. This will probably mean making his first Dark Side action in AOTC not genocide.
Make Anakin less of an idiot. He is betraying the Republic, since Sidious is the leader of the separtists. Either drop that motivation or hide that fact from Anakin, somehow.
Use the Wookiees or don’t have them.
Drop the “oh, and by the way, this is how you do the blue ghost thing”. It’s tacked-on, pointless since Qui Gonn didn’t show up, and utterly unnecessary.
Those could all be possible explinations, but Lucas went with the Qui-Gon learned it after his death explination. And in that case, he had to continue with it.
I came in strictly to mention “Noooooooooo!!” only to find out it was in the first post. So…
1- Rewrite ALL of Padme’s scenes with Anakin. The dialogue sounded like a hack Harlequin writer during a weekend drunk on Listerine cocktails.
2- Rewrite Padme’s death scene- I think she should have died from injuries rather than losing her will, for the site of her babies would have jumpstarted that you would think (plus, we have the ability to tell if a mother is pregnant with twins but civilizations that can travel at warp speed can’t?)
3- There should have been boos and hisses as well as the applause when Palpatine announced he was now the emperor- I can’t believe that all the representatives would be thrilled with that news
4- Delete the Wookies altogether- they added nothing other than a Chewbacca cameo
5- Give some back-story on Grievous- ObiWan was clearly shocked when he saw Grievous had a heart and lungs, and why would a robot cough? There’s got to be an interesting story there (and I thought there was going to be some cyborg-Vader connection)
6- Since midichlorians are in the storyline and can’t be “undone”, make a comment about Luke and Leia’s midichlorian counts (Luke’s should be higher); I can only assume that they were added in the first place to explain Luke’s role as the last hope
7- Either totally omit the comments about Qui Jon’s ability to “break on through [from] the other side” or show him (though not as an afterthought- have him come to Obi Wan in a “trust your feelings” moment in the saber battle perhaps
8- Explain more why Beru & Owen are the obvious choice to raise Luke; they have no blood connection to him whatever and are totally defenseless to the force or to stormtroopers
9- Less comedy (such as the “Oh nooooooo…” Mr. Bill droid or R2’s “uh-oh”
Well having Yoda with the Wookies was important, because the Wookies didn’t get Order 66 and were thus Yoda didn’t have to deal with that many clones to get away.
They are the only family he’s got though (and Leia for that matter).
:shrug: I actually liked it… make it seem more like the original trilogy which had plenty of comic relief.
I agree on the backstore on Grievous… though I’m not sure where I would have fit it in. He was definetly some sort of robot/human combination and I think the cough was there to cement it, if the eyes didn’t.
Also Padme should have died of injuries… but I guess it fits in with the whole ‘love story’ theme (necessary for Anakin’s fall).
I so hope he was on Alderaan when it blew up. (Jimmy Smits probably has the least selling action figure in the franchise as there’s really nothing you can do with it- he drives and holds a baby.)
I think she did die from injuries, basically: Vader force-choked her. I’m sure she was bummed out about it and not fighting terribly hard to live, but the Emperor’s explanation (‘in your anger you killed her’) seems a lot more plausible than the clueless robo-doc’s.
I’m not sure how I would rework the plot, but the “We’re keeping our marriage secret! …Except that we live together in this prominent penthouse, and have big fights in the open air that’s practically a city street.”
I was just imagining this conversation between two senators:
“Did you see Amidala’s knocked up?”
“Yeah! Say, I wonder who the father is!”
“Well, there’s that Jedi Knight who hangs around her all the time…and makes out with her in all those open pillared hallways…and goes home with her at night…and leaves from the same house as she does in the morning…”
“Man, who could the father be?”
That, and I would have Obi-Wan especially realize earlier that Anakin was the father of Senator Amidala’s Mystery Baby. Because Obi-Wan isn’t an idiot.
This is followed by an awkward silence and every Jedi suddenly looking at his watch.
Mace Windu: Ooh look, just remembered… I gotta meet… with a… Nabooan about a Washack…
Yoda: Getting on I must be… idea who the father is I haven’t… alibi I have…dates are wrong
