What if Harry Potter Movies were acted by Americans?

Since we are in the frenzy of Harry Potter…
For some reason, I can picture **Tony Soprano ** as Dumbledore. Instead of the wise and kindly grandfatherly type, the God Father.

A scene might go like this:

Harry: But, Professor Dumbledore, how can you trust Snape?!

Dumbledore: Harry, we got a way of doing things around here. We take care of our own and if they fcuk up, we take care of dem. Capish?

Harry: (Nodding) Capish.

Dumbledore: Good. Now, here is a pass allowing you to go to Hogsmeade and see the strippers at the Wicked Witch.

Harry: Thank you, Professor.

Dumbledore: And Harry?

Harry: Yes, Sir?

Dumbledore: Don’t shag the waitress. She’s mine.

Harry: Yes, Sir, or course, Sir. I’m very glad we got that straightened out, Sir.

Yeah, but then Voldemort would get whacked in Harry’s first year, and there’d be no more series.

Maybe Dumbledore would be distracted, say by Harry selling the services on his hit men on E-Bay and not have time to deal with Lord Vegemite. :slight_smile:

If Harry Potter had been made in the US it would have probably ended up as a cheesey made for TV movie shown on The Disney Channel. Harry Potter the most pickerd on person in school saves the school from the cliche, scenery chewing villain cheifly through pluck and determination. (Maybe one magic duel if the budget allows). Oh and there’s one cute girl who’s the only one who believes in him. He of course ignores her until the end of the movie in favor of popular school cheerleader Lotta Sexapeal.

An Americanized Harry Potter movie would probably have a whole lotta explosions and broom crashes.

Undoubtedly there would be a dog in there somewhere too. And for sure there would be a love interest way earlier. Hell, we are 6 books in and STILL there hasn’t been any reall scrumpin’ going on yet…and the main characters still haven’t really fallen together. Slackers!


Shouldn’t that be the other way around? First the broom crashes, then the broom explodes.

With a high-speed broom chase, involving lots of police brooms from the Ministry of Magic, before the broom crashes.

IIRC, Steven Spielberg was once in discussions to direct the first movie. He wanted to cast that 6th sense kid as Harry (doing a fake Brit accent) and add a new American character to Harry’s group of friends (I guess he didn’t think American kids would be interested in exclusively British characters- which explains why the combined books and movies have only grossed like 50 zillion dollars in the US). He also wanted to combine elements of the first three books all into one movie. In short, he didn’t get it at all. Thankfully Spielberg left the project (I’m guessing because they had to peel Jo Rowling off the ceiling after she heard his “ideas.”

Ooh, was the new kid actually a robotic alien that was a galeostongue with one set of grandparents that had survived the wizarding version of the Nazi concentration camps and the other set of grandparents that were former slaves but whose (basically adoptive) war-hero parents were on the run after a little red ball mistakenly said that they were Death Eaters and were searching for proof of their innocence somehow buried in archeological sites while fighting off frighteningly-intelligent dragons but they’re not really in any danger because all the wands have been replaced with walkie-talkies?

Yep…played by Tom Cruise.

Why are most of you assuming that american actors means swearing? Get real, British actors can swear far better than americans. You’re all talking nonsense I’m afraid to say.

For some reason, I can picture Gary Busey as Lucius Malfoy.

I’m sure Hermione would be played by Lindsey Lohan, in a scoop necked shirt.

Perhaps so, but we don’t realize it.
“You can sod off, Cully. Because why? Because I bloddy well say so is why!”

I don’t know if I said anything bad or not. :slight_smile:

Additionally, Michael Caine is the only British person we can understand on TV or in movies.
The others say “muggy happenstance golderoth”, and when we turn the volume up they say “MUGGY HAPPENSTANCE GOLDEROTH”.
So you have to bear with us.


You mean what would Harry Potter be like if it was made by Disney. :eek: :eek: :eek:

I find it hard to imagine a similar dialogue between the POTUS and a newly introduced staff member in an American movie.


Love that scene in that movie—and it could never happen here, more’s the pity.

Uh… explosions, broom crashes, and time reversals. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Discussions, nothing more. Other people were short-listed; Terry Gilliam, for instance.

No. Haley Osment says the proposal never even crossed his desk, and if it had, he would have turned it down.



No; you heard a lot of rumors.