It would be just my luck to meet one that combined the worst features of tentacle monsters and women!
(fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap)
"Kimberly! I told you, “You have 29 Tentacles, and I only have 2 arms. So YOU should do the laundry AND the dishes. Okay!?”
“I wish I never married you!!!” SHLAP SHLAP SHLAP!!
(fap fap fap fap fap fap)
“Why were you talking to that girl?”
“That was the cashier.”
“Liar!” SHLAP SHLAP SHLAP!!
“Let’s make love.”
“Sorry, it’s not that time of the month.”
or
“Come on let’s do it again.”
“That’s the third time in the last hour, I’m only human.”
“Aww come on…” (Pounces on me with tentacles flopping about wildly! They’re all warm and moist with noodly anticipation! She wraps dozens of wriggly, slimy appendages around my throbbing body. Bear_Nenno dies of a heart attack half an hour later)
(Oh God!!! I’m almost there! Fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap)
“Buy that for me, please?”
(Points at diamond neaklace)
“I can’t afford that!”
(Gives Bear_Nenno patented ultracute/ sexy look and explores my body with her delightful polypods!!)
“Please.”
(Bear_Nenno is arrested one month later for non payment of bills)
(fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap)
I’m not quite there. Please indulge me. I can’t get off unless everyone else pitches in. Tell me what you like about Super Sexy, Ultra Fake, Tentacle Monter Women!!!
Oh god! This thread will be great. Ever since my subscription to Tentacle Porn Weekly lapsed, I haven’t been able to read some good sexy fantasy stuff. I wish I could remember my password to Tentacle Porn Forums, so I could post this there. But oh well.
So, anyway. What would you love most about being married to a tentacle monster woman?
Sweetie, you really need to date more.
I think he needs to get out more.
Maybe from the basement.
Let me take care of this for you: “WHOOSH.” :smack:
But it’s not really my fault: aren’t parody threads supposed to link to the original? Can I be blamed for seeing this before the cat-woman thread? Hell no!
There, I feel better now.
(And I still say you should date more, just 'cause there’s no such thing as too much dating. :))
If tentacle monsters really existed school-girls everywhere would be living in constant fear.
Obligatory link to Ghastly’s webcomic(just the cast page, so safe for work). I must note that Ghastly is, in fact, retired Canadian army. All the walking around in the tundra eventually gets to us.
Also Obligatory link to Sexylosers (also safe for work, go to strip #16).
I have to admit that my knowledge of cephalopod erotica isn’t what it use to be, off the top of my head I can only think of a few hentais with female tentacle monsters. Alien from the darkness was the first one that sprang to mind, I’ll have to dig it out of my basement, it’s been AGES since I’ve seen it, but damn, it’s GOOD.
The other one I can think of is [iMahou Shoujo Ai*, also one of the better ones, especially if you enjoy contortionist themes. I don’t particularly care for it myself but the artwork is very good and Ai just has the cutest costume. I can’t find any safe for work links, you’ll just have to google it.
That should be enough to get everyone started… 
I’d prefer it if he stayed wherever he is. Far away from me.
The originator thread:
Coming up next…
What if small chimeric animals that can be pitted to fight each other really existed?
What if psychically-powered gaming cards really existed?
What if enormous rubbery city-stomping creatures really existed?
What if giant shapeshifting robots really existed?
What if smokin-hot 14-year-old schoolgirls with purple and teal hair who enjoyed letting themselves be gang-molested in subway cars w/o crying out for help really existed? 
No-one in Japan would ever get any work done?
I’ll get my coat…
I’m still sad that Clay quit doing SL.
I’m sick and tired of Tentacle Monsters being discriminated against. Just because one or two of us enjoy raping Japanese school girls doesn’t mean we’re all like that. I have had a romantic relationshnip with a Japanese schoolgirl for years now and we’re both quite happy.