This is hypothetical for me (I don’t have a daughter) and I am not sure if this is GD or IMHO, but here goes: How would you as a parent deal with the situation if you discovered that your son had raped your daughter? Please indicate the relative ages and sexes of your children, if any. I for one am completely stumped.
Thanks,
Rob
Why?
Direct rape? Throw the son in jail and get both children therapy, no matter their ages.
If you didn’t, you’d be directly responsible for any additional pain and suffering caused by the son. And you know there would be additional suffering if he was already doing stuff like this as a minor.
Both of them got liquored up and it was consensual (considered rape through statute instead of violence)?
Involve the police for the alcohol if you wish. Take the children to therapy to make sure they weren’t scarred for life.
Someone’s about to get a time-out!
My son is eight months old and my daughter just passed her ninth birthday, so I’d be really surprised.
But yeah, more seriously, son goes to the police, everybody goes to see a therapist (my wife and I included), and I seriously rethink my parenting approach.
I guess the question here is whether or not you involve the authorities, at least for reasonable responses. I don’t know, don’t have daughters, wish I did, but I wouldn’t want to ever face this situation. My concerns would be in not contacting the authorities if the son were old enough and this was non-consensual because he might do it to someone else. I’d sure as hell have them both in counseling immediately at a minimum, and physically separated at all times until I’d heard someone with superior knowledge telling me otherwise.
These days it would be tough to cover this up by changing schools or moving them out to other locations, those things would raise questions quickly, and I’m sure I wouldn’t sweep it under the rug anyway.
Also, I’d contact a lawyer immediately, although I’d check to make sure a lawyer wouldn’t be a mandatory reporter just to make sure I had time to sort things out.
If it’s a consensual act I’d be hesitant to go to the authorities or the son is very young I’d be hesitant to contact the authorities only because I wouldn’t trust them to act in the best interests of my children.
I sure hope this is purely hypothetical. And even if it is, what made you think of something like this?
Someone raped your only child. Why wouldn’t you have jim thrown into jail?
Questions like these give me another reason I am glad I’ve choose not to breed. Forcible rape I would hand him over to the authorities without breaking a sweat. (If I didn’t just hand him something laced with rat poison.) Something statutory where my hypothetical daugther consented: counseling for both and one of them would be sent to live in another household.
Something like this happened to a friend of mine in high school. His was response was to beat his brother into a coma and then they both spent time in jail while the rest of the family went to therapy. As a parent that isn’t the correct response so I would have to go with I have one child and the rapist goes to jail forever.
I agree with Farin, except I’d also shout the OP’s name upon discovering all of this.
Did you read the OP, let alone the title? This involves one of your children raping another one of your children, not a stranger raping your “only child”.
Confirmation that you are talking about a forced rape, and not just two siblings having sex?
I’m pretty sure there’s a subtext of “The son is no longer my child, therefore I only have one child” implied in that post.
I think you misunderstood, and that Alessan was implying that, under the circumstances, you would no longer consider the son a child of yours.
What Alessan has against Jim, though, I don’t know.
Some people seem to be saying that they only have 1 child left after this incident. I feel I’m still obligated to my son, not to the extent of letting him off the hook, but at least to do the best for him I could under the circumstances.
This. It seems like some of you are trying to avoid any and all responsibility for the attitudes and actions of a child you raised. “I don’t know why you’re even asking me any questions about how he was raised, Officer-it’s not like he’s my child.” A brother forcibly raping a sister doesn’t just happen out of the blue-something got twisted somewhere, and if your only response is pretend that the child doesn’t exist I think your next course of action should be to get yourself fixed.
You misunderstand - I wouldn’t deny my own responsibility for his upbringing and I certainly won’t deny he exists. What I would do revoke any *obligations *I had toward him. I’d do anything within my power to make sure that he was punished to the full extend of the law, strike him from my will and make sure he never made contact with anyone from my family again. Then I’d probably kill myself.
I took Alessan’s comment to mean “I would not treat the son any different than I would treat a stranger that did the same act to my child”.
and apparently, they have a disliking for people named Jim.
And how would that help your daughter? Her brother rapes her and her mother thinks only of herself and her pain. If you do such a selfish act, what message are you sending your daughter? That life isn’t worth living if you are related to someone who is raped?
Have you met Jim?