No, pie.
Mmmmmmm, pie.
Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie.
When come back bring PIE!
Well EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME!
Hey! Dis don’t look like the Coachella Valley to me!
[sub]just to continue the Bugs Bunny hijack[/sub]
[Cop voice on radio]
Sarge, I’m going to need backup.
This is an ugly-looking crowd.*
Also, they all seem to be heterosexual drug-users.**
And more of them keep turning up…
[/Cop voice on radio]
- I’ve seen the dopefest postings (and they’re not a pretty sight
)
**anyone who doesn’t get this has no right to call themselves a Straight Doper :smack: )
P.S. Uncle Beer, could this turn into another Guy Stuff?! 
glee, I’m sitting here listening to my scanner - I’s gots the whole Cook County Sherrif’s Dept at my beck and call - will you marry me? And um, I suppose I better find out if you’re a guy? Aw hell, marry me anyway. Milo never writes, he never calls…
[waves hand]
These are not the droids you’re looking for.
[waves hand again]
You never saw that rhinocerous in the bathtub.
Kat! Stop monkeying around with that rhino and get back in here. The aardavrk’s got his snout caught in the keyhole again!
I seem to have misplaced my glasses.
Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. This is all well and fine, but goddammit, what’s with the rubber dog? Why’s he, ummm, you know. Somebody’s gotta explain that to me, 'cuz I just . . . Wow, man!
[full British accent ON]
Yes, madam, I am indeed a chap. Jolly pleased to meet you.
I must tell you that a woman with a scanner is an attractive proposition, especially if she also makes me a proposition. 
(glee pauses, knowing that it is poor grammar to end a sentence with a preposition. Is it bad form to end a sentence with a proposition? 
Realising in fact that his last 3 sentences have ended with one or the other, he decides this is just something his readers will have to put up with.)
Missy2U - may I call you 2U? - are you aware that the words ‘Cook County’ give a highly charged emotional reaction to fans of the greatest movie of all time: The Blues Brothers?
God bless Aretha Franklin!
So already, 2U, you have made a strong impression on me. There seems to be only one fly in the ointment…Milo :eek:
Is this gentleman already a suitor of yours?!
If so, only a cad and a bounder could continue their romantic pursuit of you - and I am neither. (“You say neither, but I say neither; you say either, but I say either”… glee’s words slowly trail off as the ineffectiveness of this song in spoken form occur to him)
[full British accent OFF]
Ummmm, that dogs not rubber, Unc.
Enough of this farting around with rubber dogs, UncleBeer!
I’m only going to ask this once: what have you and Zartan done with the third component of the Weather Dominator? Cobra Commander is getting impatient with you!
quietly gives UncleBeer a ‘magic’ brownie
It’s obvious you haven’t had enough of these: then everything will make sense!
[sub](And if you eat enough and pass out, we can loot your stuff… Errr… no wait, you didn’t hear that from me!)[/sub]
<< RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure. >>
::Rubs back of neck::
Ow! I forgot that getting blackjack involves a penalty kick. Ah well, it seems that the game is going nicely. Seems we’ve taken a decidedly Jumanji slant now. Whatever, at it’s core the game remains the same.
Are the dancing girls ready yet? Yeah? Then lets get the flamethrowers primed and ready to go.
The score is 12 to Q and Skeezix is up at bat.
::Hurls 6 croissants and the Ghost of Elvis:: Okay, you just need to come up with 2 limericks involving fast food before these reach you and you’ll make it onto first base. Watch out for the quicksand!
And UncleBeer, not only is that dog not made of rubber, it’s not even a dog. Sheesh, you’re supposed to be the umpire here. BTW, your slip is showing.
Somebody get me another monkey! This one just passed out…again.
There was a young man from Nantucket
Who carried his fries in a bucket.
He was once heard to sing
As he left Burger King
“If my horse had a stall I would muck it.”
[sub]Yes, he was a barmy little bastard. Generous with his fries, though.[/sub]
I had me a burger, one time
That I thought had been dipped in some slime.
There was so much red sauce
That the bun was a loss,
But the patty itself was sublime.
:: straps on flamethrower ::
Okay, bring on the dancing girls.
And before anyone decides to get tricky, I’ve got a ‘Get out of Graceland Free’ card here, and I’m not afraid to use it.
Oh, BTW, can I have another brownie? The giraffe ate mine, and now he keeps insisting that he’s the ambassador from France.
[sub]And the silly git’s not even covered in orange salad dressing.[/sub]
Hey, nice job there Skeez. Don’t forget to take the purple azaleas with you. This time around you only have to touch the prime numbered bases (out of 27 total) plus the super secret base, and you don’t have to sing since kangaroo season just started in Denmark. Here, have a brownie…and here’s a greenie and a bluey to tide you over after that.
All right! We’re in the seventh frame, two outs, 6th down and 3 yards to go, checkmate in 4 moves. I believe the rhino is up next. Somebody help him with his ballet slippers, he’ll need them when he gets to the figgy pudding stage.
::snaps rubber glove onto hand:: Don’t worry sir, this won’t hurt a bit, though I sure wish I could find my glasses. ::dips gloved hand into bucket o’ tabasco sauce::
Will you kids quit teasing UncleBeer?
Go taunt Arnold or something. 
My shoe! My shoe! The marplots have filled my shoe with macaroni. And sadly, sans cheese. That dog is definitely rubber. Look at him [sub]bounce,[/sub][sup]bounce,[/sup][sub]bounce.[/sub]
Stop it!