Omni may not be a troll in general, but it looks like he’s just trolling to piss women off here. Ignore him and carry whatever you damn well please. In fact, I’m considering buying some toys and candy and make-up for my purse just out of spite.
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
Gr8, its the pit, deal with it, or stay home!
We are in sore need of a quality pit topic anyways.
Whoa, I always thought omni was an intelligent poster. What’s this shit about?
Omni, hon, did your woman make you hold her purse while Christmas shopping? Did the local paper come by and snap your photo and post it on the front page as a cute holiday pic? C’mon, sweetie, tell us all about it. You don’t seem your usual self.
Oh, and by the way, if my period doesn’t come within your alloted five days, will you wash my bloody undies for me? Thanks!
Leslie Irish Evans
http://leslie.scrappy.net
I’m an, ahem, academic, and like to tell myself that I don’t carry a purse, but I do always have a bag of some sort-- usually a small army-surplus medic type bag, which, yes, I admit is in fact a purse. Confessional.
It holds, usually,
a day-planner, which functions as a wallet and is too large for a pocket
toothbrush and paste because I have poor teeth and am trying to do damage control
a tampon or two, for the same reason some delusioned fuckwads carry condoms (“you never know…”) but I have higher chances on any given day
a pen (for, um, writing)
an inhaler
2 or 3 advil on some days
letters to be mailed, timetables, etc.
a bike lock (for my bike which I am riding)
I do not drive, so I can’t travel around with my “extra bedroom” glove-compartment all day, and I do not have a desk drawer at work and do not wear a coat all day. Some occupations and life styles (i.e. toothbrushing or hair-brushing as a regular hygenic practice) make a bag handy, for men or women. You should see the size of my husband’s “purse”. This isn’t a gender issue.
And you think this thread is going to fill that void?
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
Omniscient: ONE condom?
You clearly haven’t had much sex, have you? hell, I wouldn’t even bother having sex if there was only one condom in the house. I go through at least 3 a weekend.
And my bag (it’s no little “purse” it’s a messenger bag, thank you.) is not just for things I need to keep with me, like books, maps, wallet, pens, notebook, lunch, etc. But it’s primarily used for carrying things when I’m out with a guy who’s too lazy to carry his own crap.
Oh, and I suppose you’d prefer it if we women started carrying our menstrual pads and tampons on a chain around our necks?
Lord, are some guys dimwitted.
I don’t just carry this stuff in case someone else needs it (except the matches, and actually those are really in my purse because they were in the pocket of the coat my mom lent me. I do carry them for other people sometimes, though.) I carry most of that “bullshit” because I need it. It’s just a nice bonus to be able to lend people things that they need. And as for carrying my man’s crap, I don’t mind that at all. At least he appreciates my purse and the reasons that I carry it. You, however, are hereby banned from EVER asking a woman to carry something in her purse.
That reminds me. I also use my purse to carry things that I’ve bought. It’s handy when you buy something small to just shove it in your purse.
Lots of women don’t know when it’s coming. I never did until I went on the pill. And even now that I know, I’m not going to remember to put one in my purse. It’s easier for them to already be there. And I can’t put it in the car, since I don’t have one. When I’m walking around campus all day, it’s either at home, or in my purse.
Remind me never to kiss you right after a meal or a smoke.
It is when you’re a chocoholic who’s been baby-sitting an eight-year-old and a two-year-old.
Cessandra
It’s frightening how many crazies think that world is going to end in a few days. All of us smart people know that it’s not ending until next year.
I just want to say that I’m a reformed purse-a-holic. I now own this model: http://www.eddiebauer.com/shopeb/product.asp?prodid=14738
Belive it or not, I can fit:
money
my checkbook
a thin maxi and a tampon
all my bank cards
a few pictures
stamps
a comb (I have long hair)
a lip balm
medicine
Love is like popsicles…you get too much you get too high.
Not enough and you’re gonna die…
Click here for some GOOD news for a change Zettecity
I carry a purse so that I don’t have to sit with one butt cheek higher than the other… coz in my line of work… if you can’t be symmetrical, you at least have to be balanced.
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
Omni…I don’t know if you’re serious about this, or just trying to get a rise out of people. And honestly? I no longer give a shit. You tell me what the fuck I can get rid of in my purse. You live as a fucking woman for 2 months, then tell me I “know when I’ll get my period.” No I fucking don’t. My cycle isn’t regular, dumbass.
PLUS, I can’t leave shit in my car…I get to work late enough so I can’t keep the keys. The garage attendant keeps them, so I can’t get INTO my car until I leave for home at 7:00 at night. (And before I get a smartass remark…too late is 9:30 at my office.)
And finally…the weaker sex? NOT ON YOUR FUCKING LIFE. I’ve lived through shit that would have probably killed half to most of the men I know. Don’t fucking patronize me.
“Jesus Mary Joseph…you’re a biker chick!” - co-worker, upon hearing of my tattoo.
I like your purse, Zette. I’d carry something like that, but I need a pouch area to throw random junk in (like candy!) Also, couldn’t carry my journal. It’s bigger than that whole bag.
Cessandra
It’s frightening how many crazies think that world is going to end in a few days. All of us smart people know that it’s not ending until next year.
A friend of mine who read this thread pointed out the time Omni posted (Omniscient posted 12-22-1999 05:53 AM) and suggested that he was posting after a night of boozing it up. Probably got bitch-slapped with a purse that belonged to a woman who was tired of having her cleavage drooled on.
Omni, you keep a condom in your wallet? That’s a tad moronic, even for a frat boy. The heat that radiates from your sexually deprived chimp-like frame would have a detrimental effect on the latex; especially considering how long that condom has remained unused in your wallet.
I just pray that if that sad lonely condom ever does get used that the spermicide is still active. I’d hate to know that two million years of hominid evolution was destroyed by passing on your deficient genetic material.
The flame has ended. Go in peace.
Troglodyte.
If I wanted smoke blown up my ass, I’d be at home with a pack of cigarettes and a short length of hose.
What do I carry in my purse?
-2 credit cards
-money
-cough drops
-decongestant tablets
-keys: outside key, inside key, deadbolt key, car key, mailbox key
-drivers license
-stamps
-2 pens
-checkbook
-work ID
Yes, I need my purse because most of my clothes have no pockets (I have 2 skirts with pockets, no dresses with pockets, 2 pairs of pants with pockets.) Frankly, a large percentage of women’s clothing that I am able to find with pockets is just ugly. Sure my coat has pockets, but they are the type with the vertical opening that allows everything to fall out when you move.
Yes, I need the cough drops, because I can’t fit a bottle of cough syrup in my purse. Yes, I need the decongestant, so I have it with me when it’s time for the next dose (and no, I would not be able to make it back to my desk and no, I cannot arrange to be at my desk; I don’t make my own hours).
Yes, I need my checkbook because, surprise surprise, not every place takes credit cards and sometimes I don’t have enough cash or don’t wish to pay cash. And no, the places that don’t take credit cards don’t take check cards either.
Oh, I dunno. I think all of us ladies with the really erratic periods (oh hell, it could be ANY TIME within a 14 day or so span, not 5) should all go visit Omni and bleed on the seats of his car.
And on his lap. And his bed. And his furniture.
After all, we don’t NEED to be carrying these things, right?
Awww, man, I wanted to talk about the Colt .45 and you guys have gotten all mad at each other!
Here’s why men and women need each other: it takes men to get women to go to the shooting range, but only women regularly carry something that can conceal real firepower. I mean, try carrying an 8" Anaconda in yer manly pants! Not gonna happen! No not the snake the gun!
Seriously though, I have lots of complaints about women, but NONE of them has ever had to do with purse-carrying. I have plenty of complaints about men too, if you must know.
Well, since nobody asked, and I’m in a raving kind of mood, I’ll tell you. Here’s the code: at the beginning of each complaint, I’ll put a boldfaced M or F indicating whether I’m complaining about Males or Females. Both for both.
M F I’m tired of all the toilet seat stuff. Dangit. It’s not a big deal to put the damn thing down for either gender. This is becoming a massive cliche. I prefer the seat and the lid down myself, but women are more like seat down and lid up. Do you see me complaining? Well, yes you do apparently, but until now I’ve repressed it. Really I have.
F Okay, so you’re coworker told you a funny one. Okay, so it’s been a hard day and you need a little psychological break. Fine. Just please don’t laugh at a window-smashing volume for more than 10 minutes! I need a little peace and quiet to do my job, and it’s kinda hard with women laughing there heads off in a cubicle 30 yards away! I’m goin deef here!
M You too, cowboy. You don’t laugh - you strut. On the phone. To your neighbor. To nobody at all for all I know. You’ve just gotta spout off in that biological megaphone you’ve got where most folks keep a mouth, all about how smart you are, or how bad you’ve been treated, or whatever.
F Don’t lie to me you bimbo! I know you can do math! You just pretend not to when I’m around because you think I’ll tell everyone you’re a man in disguise if you reveal that you know how to do fractions. Or maybe you think I’ll think you’re sexy if you show that you’re a bimbo by not being able to do math. Wrong, bimbo, I know you’re not a bimbo!
M See, men like to balance women out. Where a female with a Ph.D. in particle physics will deny she knows anything about, say, particle physics, a male who flunked out of pre-calculus will claim he knows everything there is to know on the subject. This makes each gender much sexier. That’s right, if men didn’t act like overbearing know-it-alls, and women didn’t act like they had their brains switched with guinea pigs, the urge to reproduce sexually would fail utterly, and the race would die out. So tell me more about Hittite literature, sir. I found you very illuminating.
M Don’t bump into me. Yeah I know you’re A LITTLE bigger than the average woman, but they average woman would have found a way not to kick my chair or push me off balance on the subway. Jurkhead.
F Don’t scream unless something bad is happening to you. If you scream because a baby did something cute, or a beetle ran across the sidewalk, I might panic, present arms, and/or radio for backup. It could get ugly, ma’am.
F No no no I’m not talking about all women. I’m just talking about the ones who do these things. If you don’t do them, kudos to you. Have a square of good chocolate to reward yourself. Unless you don’t like chocolate.
I realize this is the Pit…but Alpha, I think I love you!
“Jesus Mary Joseph…you’re a biker chick!” - co-worker, upon hearing of my tattoo.
I’m not going to go into detail about the contents of my purse. Let’s just say that they’re pretty stock, except that my cell phone isn’t in there yet (just got one a couple of days ago).
I guess I just don’t get what Omni’s problem is with the purses. Purses are just an option, not a requirement. Most of us need some sort of bag to carry our stuff in, especially those of us with kids. I do not understand Omni’s raging hostility over purses and the stuff in them.
So now I’ll just wander off, still puzzled.
I WILL regret this, but where else am I going to tell this story ??
I used to laugh at women’s purses until I spent a night on the town, wearing a dress (long unrelated story - in brief, our drinking/running club staged a “Red Dress Run”).
Having shopped for a dress, I soon regretted not buying a purse as well: There are no usable pockets in womens clothing!! I carried nothing but keys, purse and notebook - and I had a devil of a time keeping on to even these few items. (Running in a tight skirt wasn’t much fun, either)
So, Omni, don’t pass judgment on people until you’ve walked mile in their - eh - garments.
In my house, seat and lid stay down or you’ll get yelled at. I have pets and a small child. Until recently, a non-closed-lidded toilet was an inviting place to play for my son. Or an inviting place for him to throw toys or whatever. I also don’t like my animals drinking out of the toilet, especially with the chemical thingies I keep in the tank. So the toilets stay closed. You will live.
–
Teeming Millions: http://fathom.org/teemingmillions
“Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat
O p a l C a t
www.opalcat.com
Hear hear! You’ve pointed out the main reason the lid must stay down: I’m a complete klutz. I will drop anything at least once. So most of my possessions are either sturdy or broken. What I REALLY need is a nice padded toilet lid, so things stay in one piece when they hit it…
Here’s a (non-gun) reason I really like it that women have purses: they carry tissues. I know, I can carry tissues to, but they get all squashed in my manly pockets, and it’s just not the same. A tender nose like mine needs it fresh from the pack, thank you. And when you’re not on the pill (pseudoephedrine) you never know when it will start.