[ol]
[li]Super high achievers - those who were genetically gifted with the combination of brains, good looks, physical fitness, and unbounded motivation. [/li][li]Those in category #1 who think “everyone” could be just like them, if they only tried harder. (Maybe this set really isn’t that innocent…)[/li][/ol]
At the Blockbuster I used to work at, someone once reshelved The Passion of the Christ into the horror section. A customer loudly complained. Personally (and I’m a Christian), I thought it was funny as hell.
My answers:
People who don’t have an inside voice.
People who don’t filter what they say.
People who have derived great benefit from their families’ wealth and connections, but believe they have gotten to where they are through hard work and talent. In other words they were “Born on third base, but think they hit a triple”.
Hippie midgets in fedoras.
Children. Nothing but a drain on society. Look at all the money and resources we waste on their “education”. They contribute nothing to society yet society panders to them hand and foot. Without them we would not be enslaved to the Kardashians. We wouldn’t have all these shitty childrens’ movies. Society would be better off if we were all born as adults ready to start working and contributing within a couple days of being born.
People that wear socks. What are you special? You have shoes. Shoes are there to protect your feet. Why do you think your feet are so precious that they need another layer of covering? Get over yourself.
Smurfs.
“Look at me! I’m all happy and blue and singing and shit!”
Screw them. Fucking hippies.
Motorcyclists.
(Strangely enough, I get along just fine with bicyclists.)
Smug people. The kind who can be supercilious and dismissive. “Oh, really?” “Seriously?” “Well, whatever.” Those creeps. Punch 'em all inna nose.
(Starting timer…)
Oh! Another one! Though again, “innocent” may not apply -
Those jerkwads who say hurtful things because they’re “Just being honest.” Triple points if they’re also the type who can’t be told they do anything wrong without being Mortally Offended.
Hypocritical people who talk the talk but dont walk the walk.
Like the whites who call me and others racist and insist that they are somehow superior because they celebrate Martin Luther King day and never discriminate and such when in reality, they live in an all white neighborhood and send their kids to all white schools (or nearly).
I have told more than one that they need to shut up and move down to the inner city if they truly care about integration and the races getting along. They usually want to change the subject.
“Guess what”.
I hate when a person starts off a conversation with that. No I am NOT going to guess. Just say the freaking thing.
The oblivious wealthy. Or at least upper middle class.
Example. Married couple I know fairly well. They have an great professional jobs, an enormous house, good cars, two kids and about $350K saved up in their mid-30s. Yet they complain about how difficult it’s going to be when they retire and how far behind they are.
They’re not bad people. They just don’t really have enough information to understand the rest of the world. The choose to look to their left and see everyone they know that’s doing better when they could look to their right and see the entire rest of the world that’s doing worse.
There’s more of them out there than most people realize. And they drive me crazy.
People…all of them…everywhere…including myself. There is always at least several things I hate about every god damn person everywhere.
Tourists in Grand Central Terminal – I know this is the biggest room you have ever been in, and you want to gawk and take pictures, but there are also ten thousand people per minute going through that room who are trying to get to work/get home and you are all just a bunch of roadblocks.
Also people on the escalator who have no idea where they are going to go when they get to the top, so they just stop there.
Dude, I love when people open with that! It’s the best thing! I always take the guess and run with it. Always!
“You only poop in the dark.”
“You are wearing two different socks.”
“Your real name is Evander Artichoke, III.”
The elderly.
People who need to tell everyone they don’t own a TV (especially those who watch TV shows via Netflix etc on their computer or phone).
People whose talk of a political nature makes it obvious that they assume it’s impossible that anyone they know doesn’t vote the same way they do.
Married people with working spouses who constantly complain about money when I know that one or both of them makes as much money as I do, and hey, there’s two of them. (according to the feds I’d have to be supporting more than 7 kids solo to be under the poverty level and most of these people have 1 or 2 kids)
I’m with Annie X-mas on the helpless, and I add to that, the clueless. Example: I gave my team a list of what we need to do for Halloween decorations. They kept coming and asking me what do I do? I point them to the list and tell them to choose. THEN they tell me, “I’m not artistic.” Dude, I just want you to hang some damn paper streamers, I’m not asking for a Monet here. Just put up some streamers.
And then another woman comes up to me. “The control isn’t sticking to the remote-control fish”.
Me, “Did you tape it?”
Her. “The tape they gave us didn’t work”.
Me “Did you try some cellophane tape?”
Her. “Yes, I will try that.”
Then she friggin looks at me, until I say, “Do you need some tape?”
“Oh, no I have some.” Well GO TAPE IT!
I’m done for the day, I think. 
My office’s admin assistant does not have an inside voice. She drives me nuts.
A SDMB, or other message board special: People who can’t resist (or don’t understand that they are) being troll bait. They just have to respond to every post they disagree with, no matter how stupid it is.
Even if they succeed in getting a troll banned, the troll just goes back to the site under the bridge he came from and tells all the other losers : “Go to the SDMB - they take everything seriously. They take think they are doing a service. Tell them that D.B. Cooper not only survived his parachute escape, but he thrived and became one of the 9/11 hijackers. You’ll get 1000 words on the air speed capability of a Boeing 727, the rotational properties of a falling body, and a detailed, footnoted, description of the landscape of rural Oregon.”
Kind and generous people. I can’t stand that sort, being all helpy and caring about people and taking care of the least among us. Makes me sick to think about it. Why can’t they just sit down on their asses and close their eyes to everyone else just like all the rest of us.
Stealth braggers.
I’m not talking about the people who do it jokingly, I’m talking about the people who talk about taking the Ferrari to the airport to board the private helicopter to fly down to the beachfront condo in Florida while talking to someone who struggles to pay the bills at times. The thing is, it’s so normal to them they don’t realize what they’re doing. They’re just making conversation when they are asked how things are going.
Worse yet are the ones who DO realize what they’re doing and are just being dicks. Because it’s so hard to tell the difference they all have to carry the burden of my dislike. And that’s an easy thing for them to do, because they have a Ferrari, a helicopter, and a beachfront condo in Florida.
People who treat pets like children. “Fur baby” etc. Animals and people are different. People are ALWAYS more important than animals. Sorry. That’s the truth. They are generally well-meaning, kind people, but I HATE people who compare people to animals like there’s any correspondence.
Your dog will eat you if you starve it. Understand that.
As if that wasn’t knee jerk enough, here’s where I get really unfair. Please don’t tell me about how gluten turns your insides to mush or how tomatoes give you hives or how eggs will give you headaches. I don’t care.
I don’t suffer from any allergies or food issues and I don’t really believe you do either unless I see hard evidence. It is my completely unfair believe that most people bitch about their food reactions when it’s all in their heads. Sure, those diseases exist, but (and I get that this is all my issue) I just don’t think they affect that many people.
While I’m at it, can I please express frustration at nut allergies? I get this is a serious thing, but do we really have to change the way everyone in the world eats to accommodate a tiny percentage of people? People get killed by cars every minute. Do we ban parents from bringing cars to school or to work?
Whew! I know it’s not fair, but I do think those thoughts and it’s nice to actually express them, even if I know they’re mostly unfair.