I think there’s a very big “YMMV” factor involved. The first place I ever went to (in SF) I was a bit apprehensive about. I thought it’d be really sleazy and kind of scary. I am not generally comfortable in big crowds of drunken young guys because I’ve been in situations where things flashed into mini-riots or women were not safe in the area. That’s really ugly.
From a physical safety standpoint I felt more at ease in the O’Farrell than I have in some nice casinos on a busy night - while we were all there to ogle the ladies everyone (even the guys you’d think were drunken sailors on shore leave) was well-behaved. The security was polite, friendly and inobtrusive. The place was clean; the bathrooms were sparkling. There was certainly the smell of a lot of cologne and perfume in the air but that’s about it. Like most places in SF it is non-smoking IIRC.
The entertainment, while obviously very “adult”, didn’t feel sleazy - I knew what I was there for, the dancers are completely in control of the situation and at least the ones I met were very comfortable and good at their jobs. The one girl who took liberties with my glasses was laughing with me; yes there’s a naked girl on my lap but for some reason it felt about as sleazy as wrestling with a big happy puppy; it was just fun.
That being said it sounds like I’ve had the good luck/judgement to go to good establishments and it’s not something I’d do often (three bachelor parties in about 8 years).
I’ve been to a lot of strip clubs all over the country. There are all sorts of clubs with all sorts of women in them. New Jersey and Pennsylvania have some pretty sketchy ones. A lot of those are BYOB. Last one I went to out there was some dump by the airport that was covered in chicken wire and full of day laborers with their styrofoam coolers watching middle aged women with C-section scars.
I’m more partial to places in Manhattan like Sapphire (formerly Scores), Hustler Club or Flashdancers. They tend to be more upscale with a steady flow of super-hot mostly Eastern European girls. Those are places celebrities, bankers, lawyers and other corporate types go with their buddies to blow off steam. It’s pricey though. $10-20 cover. $10 for a beer. $20 for a lapdance. (Skipping out of work for an hour…priceless).
Funny! The place I was talking about was in SF too! Wish I could remember where it was…It was a little weird though since it seemed to be bisexual?? I recall there were men and women there watching and they had some gay porn playing on the screen in the back.