What is it about our arse that we are the only animals in the world that need to wipe it

[nearwildheaven]

@spamforbrains

Dogs do this because of impacted anal glands, not shit stuck to their butts. You need to see a vet to get them cleared out before they become infected. People don’t have anal glands.

Cats have them too; however, my cat does this if he has a stuck-on dingleberry.

[lance_strongarm]

@Nansbread1

No other animals needs to clean their anus after a shit. We do. So how was it evolutionarily significant?

Discount animals that scape their itchy arses. Does not count.

I don’t know - some animals lick their own clean. And some wish they could clean them I bet.

But the answer to your question, I think, is that we cook our food. It turns our crap mushy.

[Ranger_Jeff]

The quick and dirty (no pun intended) answer that comes to me are that humans are the only animal that wears clothing. In other cultures (I’m thinking Vietnam here), toddlers go about bare tushied until they’re toilet trained, I guess partially to avoid the issue.

[astorian]

If you’ve spent any amount of time on a farm or in the country, you should know that horses poop all over their bodies constantly. They frequently have dung all over their tails. And they step in their own (and each others’) poop all the time, and you never see them neighing “Oh damn, and those are my good new shoes!”

The difference between people and most other mammals is that we have an aesthetic dislike for poop that other animals typically don’t share. We’re disgusted if we see, feel or smell poop in our underwear. A horse with a tail full of manure doesn’t notice or care.

[lance_strongarm]

@astorian

If you’ve spent any amount of time on a farm or in the country, you should know that horses poop all over their bodies constantly. They frequently have dung all over their tails. And they step in their own (and each others’) poop all the time, and you never see them neighing “Oh damn, and those are my good new shoes!”

The difference between people and most other mammals is that we have an aesthetic dislike for poop that other animals typically don’t share. We’re disgusted if we see, feel or smell poop in our underwear. A horse with a tail full of manure doesn’t notice or care.

It’s possible a horse in the wild, with a diet of grass only, may have different poop. And of course it probably wouldn’t step in poop nearly as much when running free.

[cochrane]

@spamforbrains

I agree with this 100%.
It works with dogs, too, but backwards-most dry dog foods are grain-based and have fiber added to produce a fairly large, soft poop that tends to leave butt residue behind and smears on the grass when you try to pick it up. If you feed a dog a basically fiber-free diet based on meat, organs, and bones, the dog produces very hard, small poops that leave no butt residue behind. Nor do they leave sticky smears on the grass when you go to pick them up.

This is just anecdotal (and probably TMI as well), but my dog eats one of the aforementioned dry foods. He has no butt residue after doing his business and his droppings are fairly compact and firm.

[Fear_Itself]

How long have humans been wiping their asses? I’m guessing they didn’t in most of prehistory, and probably most of the neolithic. It’s not a big stretch to assume humans 10,000 years ago smelled terrible, with no wiping and infrequent, unintentional bathing.

[john_b_2]

@hajario

Dude, I am so glad that this post went in a different direction than I first thought.

First laugh of the day :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D, and probably the longest.
Thanks

John B.

[spamforbrains]

This guy blames toilets and low-fiber diets:

also personally tested many of the ways we’ve wiped over the last four billion years and report on my findings in the Rough Start chapter. The moss was the best, butt it had an unfair advantage. First, I had eaten several high fiber meals making for a clean shit, and the moss I happened to find that day was from the top of a large rock that had been warmed by the sun. 

We humans are the champions of tool usage and so we quickly invented the toilet, toilet seat, low fiber diets, reading and writing. All of these things made wiping more necessary. Why? Because toilet seats make us shit in a position nature never intended. The squeeze our cheeks together and cramp our muscles. Our bodies are designed to squat to separate the cheeks and allow our muscles to easily push. Our bodies also love fiber. I can personally assure you from my testing, if you can bear to eat more fiber for a day or two, you will have a smoother experience, even on a toilet. Prehistorically we knew how to do the best doo we could do. Of course, all of our extra hair might have made for some golf ball sized dingle berries after a particularly sinful feast on wildebeest.

http://www.noshitthehistoryofwiping.com/

[Fear_Itself]

Anyone who sits on the toilet in such a way that their buttcheeks are forced together must have flunked potty training.

[md2000]

@astorian

If you’ve spent any amount of time on a farm or in the country, you should know that horses poop all over their bodies constantly. They frequently have dung all over their tails. And they step in their own (and each others’) poop all the time, and you never see them neighing “Oh damn, and those are my good new shoes!”

The difference between people and most other mammals is that we have an aesthetic dislike for poop that other animals typically don’t share. We’re disgusted if we see, feel or smell poop in our underwear. A horse with a tail full of manure doesn’t notice or care.

@lance_strongarm

It’s possible a horse in the wild, with a diet of grass only, may have different poop. And of course it probably wouldn’t step in poop nearly as much when running free.

Animals that have nests are typically able to be “house trained”, as they have no interest in fouling their own nest (except perhaps the gannet). Similarly, carnivores that have to use stalking to catch prey, obviously, don’t want to give themselves away by stinking so bad they can only hunt from downwind in a stiff breeze. Animals with no nest or burrow, wandering grazers, have no need to control their fecal events. It’s not like they can hide from predators by going off behind the bushes to go.

But as was mentioned near the very beginning of this thread, almost no other animal starts with the handicap of an orifice buried away deep between two cheeks.

[Ignatz]

Nobody’s mentioned the odor emitted by the great unwiped.

[Fear_Itself]

@Ignatz

Nobody’s mentioned the odor emitted by the great unwiped.

<raises hand slowly>

[spamforbrains]

But as was mentioned near the very beginning of this thread, almost no other animal starts with the handicap of an orifice buried away deep between two cheeks.

have you ever actually looked at a horse’s behind?

[cochrane]

@spamforbrains

have you ever actually looked at a horse’s behind?

I’m familiar with many of them. I usually see them when I’m driving.

[Ignatz]

@Fear_Itself

<raises hand slowly>

Sorry, Fear, I missed that.

And I awoke last night realizing that I left off the last word.

I meant to say, Nobody’s mentioned the odor emitted by the great unwiped masses.

[Lukeinva]

Dogs be thinkin… “I have to shit in public I’m not wiping, too.”

[Colibri]

@md2000

Similarly, carnivores that have to use stalking to catch prey, obviously, don’t want to give themselves away by stinking so bad they can only hunt from downwind in a stiff breeze.

Actually carnivores, from dogs to lions, love to roll around in dung and carrion to mask their own odor from prey. Prey animals are less likely to be alarmed by the smell of dung or carrion than the smell of a predator.

[Shodan]

@Ignatz

And I awoke last night realizing that I left off the last word.

I meant to say, Nobody’s mentioned the odor emitted by the great unwiped masses.

But your correction put in an extra ‘m’.

Regards,
Shodan

[Boyo_Jim]

@spamforbrains

have you ever actually looked at a horse’s behind?

Yeah, I see them at work every day.