What is it Like to be a Woman from 'x' country?

[xkit0katx]

Hello fellow dopers!
I have a short survey for any and all woman who have moved to the U.S.
Could you please take a few minutes and answer a few questions from the list?
This is a survey project for my wicked cool class “Gender in Global Perspective”, and and all comments, opinions, experiences, will be greatly appreciated!

1. What country are you from?
2. What brought you to the U.S., and how long have you lived here?
3. What is your culture like – specifically, what is it like to be a woman where you are from?
4. What kind of economic status or opportunities for paid work do women have?
5. What role do women play in marriage?
6. What is motherhood like for women in your culture?
7. How would you describe the process of adjusting to American culture?
8. What d you see as the differences in being a woman here in the US from where you are from?
9. In what ways are things changing (if they are) for women in your country?
10. Are women organizing together to affect change? How?
11. Are media portrayals of women different in your country then in the U.S.?

[xkit0katx]

c’mon, 47 views and not a single response?
shame.

[Cunctator]

I think the problem is that most of the questions that you are asking are likely to require complex and lengthy answers. It’s not really a short survey.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@xkit0katx

<snip>

1. What country are you from?
2. What brought you to the U.S., and how long have you lived here?
3. What is your culture like – specifically, what is it like to be a woman where you are from?
4. What kind of economic status or opportunities for paid work do women have?
5. What role do women play in marriage?
6. What is motherhood like for women in your culture?
7. How would you describe the process of adjusting to American culture?
8. What d you see as the differences in being a woman here in the US from where you are from?
9. In what ways are things changing (if they are) for women in your country?
10. Are women organizing together to affect change? How?
11. Are media portrayals of women different in your country then in the U.S.?

Ah, it’s question #2 that’s preventing many answers. I could answer your questions from the perspective of being a woman in Canada, but I have not moved to the US. I think a better thread would be “What’s It LIke to Be a Woman In Your Country?” I think we’d have a good discussion on that.

[Atomicflea]

Sure, I’ll bite.

@xkit0katx

1. What country are you from?
   Peru.

2. What brought you to the U.S., and how long have you lived here?
   My parents and a plane and a crappy economy. Since 1987.

3. What is your culture like – specifically, what is it like to be a woman where you are from?
   I would say 2008 is like 1978 in Peru. It’s just now becoming common for a “decent” girl of a certain age to live with someone, have sex before marriage, for someone to be gay… Still, society is still adjusting to it. A lot of narrow-mindedness and nowhere near the cultural openness we have here.

4. What kind of economic status or opportunities for paid work do women have?
   Nurse, teacher. A woman who is independently wealthy is a rare thing and a man would feel emasculated by it. A woman who is independent period is still looking to be a stay-at-home should the opportunity present itself. Even my nieces admit they’d quit working in a second if they could only marry the ‘right’ guy. Only have one cousin who is a career gal and the whole family mocks her husband for a whipped man.

5. What role do women play in marriage?
   Keep the home organized and clean, direct the maids, raise the children, feed people, keep track of people’s health, birthdays, still old-fashioned. If your husband shows up with a wrinkled shirt, it means you’re a bad wife.

6. What is motherhood like for women in your culture?
   Motherhood is the expected fulfillment of your self-identity, and you are supposed to sublimate any personal desire for the greater good and desires of your family.

7. How would you describe the process of adjusting to American culture?
   Inescapable. Really, all the yanquis have to do is wait. As hard as you try, your kids are a bit more American, and by the third generation all you have left is a funny last name and a tan. The first year is the hardest, you’re expected to play by a whole new set of rules no one bothered to explain, and although individual people can be welcoming, the culture at large is not. You cry a lot and miss home, and one day you go home to visit and it doesn’t feel like home anymore.

8. What d you see as the differences in being a woman here in the US from where you are from?
   I don’t have to wait for a man to escort me out at night, there aren’t places it’s considered unsafe for me to go (within reason), I have a lot more freedom to think for myself and make decisions. Then again, the men don’t dance, and there is a certain comfort in thinking that if only you keep a clean house someone will take care of you.

9. In what ways are things changing (if they are) for women in your country?
   U.S. culture is filtering back, girls are having sex with their boyfriends and not marrying them, women are divorcing and getting jobs rather than staying in marriages with men who cheat constantly… I imagine the same things that changed here, just 30 years ago.

10. Are women organizing together to affect change? How?
    No idea. I suppose some may have, but it’s more a function of the times.

11. Are media portrayals of women different in your country then in the U.S.?
    Women are curvier and less opinionated, although as time passes this becomes less and less the case.

[xkit0katx]

@Atomicflea

Sure, I’ll bite.

THANK YOU!!

And, yes, I realized post-posting that ‘short’ wasn’t the exactly best adjective to use.
[rolls eyes at silly self]

[Anaamika]

Hell, I’ll answer.

** 1. What country are you from? **

Born in India, originally, though I feel pretty American most days.

** 2. What brought you to the U.S., and how long have you lived here?**

My parents brought me here when I was a child, but I am bonded pretty strongly to India, and still feel some loyalty to it.

** 3. What is your culture like – specifically, what is it like to be a woman where you are from?**

It’s not as bad as the media and the world makes it out to be…sometimes. I come from a fairly liberal family, so I would have had a lot of choice in whom I married; etc.
What I would not have had a choice in is whether to get marrried at all, or whether to have kids. I would have been expected to do both. After all a woman is not a real woman until she has kids - said to my face by my greataunt, who stood in the stead of a grandmother.
In the States, I can be 32 and not be married but in a LTR and not have kids, and that’s OK - not great to my family, but OK.

** 4. What kind of economic status or opportunities for paid work do women have?**

I don’t know, to be honest. It depends on how much money your family has in the first place, what class you are in in society, stuff like that. But I didn’t grow up there so I don’t know.
I know two of my girl cousins, who do come from a high-class family, both majored in Interior Decorating, which basically was a ticket to be married. They could say they had a degree, but they weren’t expected to work outside of the house.
Some of my cousins have degrees in business administration, and one of my cousin’s kids wants to do Nursing, which is an almost guaranteed ticket to the States.

** 5. What role do women play in marriage?**

Definitely second, though again in the higher class it’s changing a little. Still, your husband is supposed to be your God in my old religion.
I do notice, and it’s telling, that even my father’s best friend, who is extremely rich, married his daughters off at twenty-one. I met the eldest daughter, went to her house, and it was clear to me that she was basically bossed around by everyone in the house, and had to serve them, including her husband’s younger brothers, and his parents. It turned me off an Indian marriage right there, though I am less anti- these days.

** 6. What is motherhood like for women in your culture?**

I don’t know? Supposed to be the ultimate joy, I guess.

** 7. How would you describe the process of adjusting to American culture?**

Both difficult and easy. Americans are actually really cool about immigrants and stuff. Even though press says otherwise. I mean, there’s always some exceptions, but…
But all the same, not only am I always a little foreign, my parents are too - I Americanized my parents, after all.

** 8. What do you see as the differences in being a woman here in the US from where you are from?**

Choice. I have choices. Every day of my life I make a choice I would have a very difficult time with in India.

** 9. In what ways are things changing (if they are) for women in your country?**

India is actually one of the more modern-thinking as far as woman’s rights. I do not need to point out, after all, that India has had a female PM and there has been no female President.

** 10. Are women organizing together to affect change? How?**

This I don’t know.

** 11. Are media portrayals of women different in your country then in the U.S.?**

Well, yes. The ideal woman is supposed to be Sita - good, kind, loving, gentle, subservient to her god and her men, pure, innocent, chaste - a Girl Scout basically. I’m not saying I’m none of those, but the protrayal of women is definitely different in America. Come to think of it, I don’t know what the portrayal really is here. Seems people have different expectations of women at different times.

[xkit0katx]

Thanks Anaamika!

featherlou:
Ah, it’s question #2 that’s preventing many answers. I could answer your questions from the perspective of being a woman in Canada, but I have not moved to the US. I think a better thread would be “What’s It LIke to Be a Woman In Your Country?” I think we’d have a good discussion on that.

I concur - Shall we eliminate #2 then?

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

@Atomicflea

Inescapable. Really, all the yanquis have to do is wait. As hard as you try, your kids are a bit more American, and by the third generation all you have left is a funny last name and a tan. The first year is the hardest, you’re expected to play by a whole new set of rules no one bothered to explain, and although individual people can be welcoming, the culture at large is not. You cry a lot and miss home, and one day you go home to visit and it doesn’t feel like home anymore.

Brilliant!

[Hunter_Hawk]

@xkit0katx

Hello fellow dopers!
I have a short survey for any and all woman who have moved to the U.S.
Could you please take a few minutes and answer a few questions from the list?
This is a survey project for my wicked cool class “Gender in Global Perspective”, and and all comments, opinions, experiences, will be greatly appreciated!

1. What country are you from?
2. What brought you to the U.S., and how long have you lived here?
3. What is your culture like – specifically, what is it like to be a woman where you are from?
4. What kind of economic status or opportunities for paid work do women have?
5. What role do women play in marriage?
6. What is motherhood like for women in your culture?
7. How would you describe the process of adjusting to American culture?
8. What d you see as the differences in being a woman here in the US from where you are from?
9. In what ways are things changing (if they are) for women in your country?
10. Are women organizing together to affect change? How?
11. Are media portrayals of women different in your country then in the U.S.?

You do realize that questions 3-11 are worth at least a couple of doctoral dissertations each, right? Have you reviewed the survey with your professor to check whether there’s a more effective way of getting at the information you’re looking for, or to focus your research better?

[xkit0katx]

@Hunter_Hawk

You do realize that questions 3-11 are worth at least a couple of doctoral dissertations each, right? Have you reviewed the survey with your professor to check whether there’s a more effective way of getting at the information you’re looking for, or to focus your research better?

Yes, yes - She was the one who handed us down the questions in the first place! When I read it I was a little baffled, in fact, and expected to be instructed to pick one or two questions from the list.
Noope. Prof wants the whole survey, done “briefly. Don’t worry to much about doing indepth guys!”.
I mean, c’mon, it is a freshman class, but my intelligence is a little insulted.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@xkit0katx

1. What country are you from?

Canada.

3. What is your culture like – specifically, what is it like to be a woman where you are from?

Almost equal to a man. The law says men and women are equal, and that people may not discriminate based on gender, but in real life, there still is some residual sexism.

4. What kind of economic status or opportunities for paid work do women have?

All the same as men. There are still problems with female careers getting derailed by motherhood and there is still a noticeable disparity between men and women in higher positions. We have had a female Prime Minister, though, and currently have a female Governor General (arguably the highest position in Canada).

Women are not completely expected to have the same level of job or earning power as men, partially because it is understood that a woman’s career will usually be interrupted by childbearing. Canadian women are starting to realize that having it all is a myth, and are making more realistic arrangements for their lives. Still, it is expected that all women have a career just like all men.

5. What role do women play in marriage?

The female lead.
No, seriously, married women in Canada mostly work as well as look after the house. Canadian men help around the house usually (which is part of the problem - the idea that a man is helping a woman look after the house they both live in), but this is one of the ways we’re really getting stuck - nobody wants to do the house stuff, so it defaults to the woman to do it.

6. What is motherhood like for women in your culture?

I’m not a mother, so I can only say what I see. Mothers in Canada get a full year off of work for maternity leave (at 60% salary). There are many programs and benefits for mothers and families. Mothers still do the majority of the childraising. Working mothers take a lot of time off work for family related things. Employers are usually understanding of working mothers taking time off for family related things (sometimes too understanding). Mothers are expected to do far too much - having a kid seems to bring an expectation that you will not sit down again for about 18 years. There are many Canadian women who are opting out of the childbearing ratrace - this is becoming more socially acceptable.

9. In what ways are things changing (if they are) for women in your country?

I think we’re slowly but steadily finding an equilibrium between the sexes. As we get more realistic about women remaining the primary child caregiver, I’m hoping that we will see more value being given to female oriented pursuits and perspectives.

10. Are women organizing together to affect change? How?

I don’t really see this. We have it pretty good as women in Canada. There might be women organizing, but I’m not one of them.

11. Are media portrayals of women different in your country then in the U.S.?

Not drastically. There is one particular portrayal that we don’t usually have here - the shrill, church lady type who is always going on about other people’s morality. We’re not too interested in that here.

[GingerOfTheNorth]

My answers are nearly the same as featherlou’s, only I actually live in the US now, moved from Canada to marry an American man.

So there, you have the perspective of a Canadian immigrant to America.

[alice_in_wonderland]

My answers are very similar to featherlou’s and Ginger’s too, but I wanted to add a couple of points:

I’m not a mother, so I can only say what I see. Mothers in Canada get a full year off of work for maternity leave (at 60% salary).

To this point, most women who are working at a ‘career’ as opposed to a ‘job’ are offered a top-up to 100% salary. If I were to go on maternity leave tomorrow I would still collect my full salary for the year.

Also, men are also elegible to take paternal leave equal to that of women if they are the primary care giver - however, the family has to choose - one parent or the other but not both. Depending on the company this leave would be topped up as well. I believe that this has expanded the options women have when it comes to career.

Also, I think in many Canadian companys the culture is different that what seems sterotypical of the US - family seems to play a much greater role, and employers seem to be more understanding when it comes to family commitments. Not all, of course, and I’m basing my opinion of the US situation in large part on posts on this message board, so YMMV.

I don’t really see this. We have it pretty good as women in Canada. There might be women organizing, but I’m not one of them.

I get the impression that this sort of thing is really being championed by women older than featherlou, Ginger or I - I remember my grandmother trying to convince me to participate in a topless rally about 10 years ago - she felt my young perky boobs would garner more attention then her old saggy ones. Grandma was a pistol.

Not drastically. There is one particular portrayal that we don’t usually have here - the shrill, church lady type who is always going on about other people’s morality. We’re not too interested in that here.

Yes, and also the ardently pro-life type - that’s not an archtype that’s common in Canada. People may be pro-life but there doesn’t seem to be as many strident pro-lifers as are depicted in the US media - honestly, the issue is just not one that is current here. (Which is not to say that people don’t have opinions, or that it’s not a reality here - just that even the most right-wing of the Canadian parties has repeatedly said it is not an issue and it will not be brought to the House of Commons for debate).

[Girl_From_Mars]

I could write a lot about this all, as some others have said, so this is a very basic summary - please let me know if you need more info. As an intro, I should say that I work for a bank, focusing specifically on female customers, which has coloured some of my responses!

1. What country are you from?
Currently living in my home country of Australia (although raised in a number of other Western countries).

3. What is your culture like – specifically, what is it like to be a woman where you are from?
I’d rate it as fairly liberal, with a public social expectation that women can and should make decisions that are best for themselves and their families, with legislation in place to help encourage this. I still believe there is a ‘blokey’ culture which can sometimes value male attributes and achievements higher than those of women. (I felt this was better for example in NZ, where they were very proud of being once of the first countries to offer women the vote (1893), and at one point having a female prime minister, governor general, and head of largest company.)

Women, especially younger ones are staying in the workforce longer (with later incidence of marriage and children), which is providing them with greater freedom and choice than previous generations.

Workplace-wise, women are not guaranteed paid parental leave, which does lead to disrupted working lives, with women earning on general less than men, spending up to 18 years out of the workforce, and retiring with less than half of their male counterpart’s superannuation benefit.

4. What kind of economic status or opportunities for paid work do women have?
As above, women are provided with the same basic opportunities as men,with equal access to education and work. They still tend to take the majority care of children still, meaning they are more highly represented in lower paid or part time work (which can be more flexible around hours), with resultant impact on income and career progression. Businesses are becoming more responsive to this, offering more flexible work options (which are benefiting men as well), as well as some attempts at affirmitive action to encourage greater numbers of women reaching senior management.

Women continue to be underrepresented in senior management and on company boards, in parliament, and in certain industries.

Women are proactive about starting their own businesses (with none but the usual roadblocks), and are generally very successful at running these.

5. What role do women play in marriage?
I’d say in general relationships are a 50/50 balance (among Anglo heritage Australians anyway) - but women still do tend to take responsibility for child rearing, food preparation and housework. Marriage fluctuates in popularity, and it’s very common here for people to live together, or become defacto, with similar legal protection to marriage.

With most women at some point earning their own income, there is greater independance in relationships which is encouraging this trend. However, we still need to be reminded that a ‘man is not a financial plan’ - once shacked up, women may manage the day to day budget, but not the more complex finances, which can result in a real need to start over again with very little funds or knowledge in the event of a death or divorce of a partner. Women definately need to ensure that they don’t rely completely and totally on their partner in this regard, although that’s still a contentious thing to say (it’s something I’m particularly passionate about at work!)

6. What is motherhood like for women in your culture?
Not a mother yet - but we know that there is a trend to women delaying children to later in life, either through not being personally ready, a focus on career or not finding the right person. Many women return to work at least in some capacity once their children are born/at school, but retain primary care, leading to lots of juggling! It seems to be a very rewarding experience for most, perhaps because so many wait until they are ‘ready’, and have fewer kids so can spend more time with them. There is a lot of social pressure around this - whether to return to work or not, whether to send to private school or not etc from other women in their social circle.

Grandparents don’t generally take as an active role in childrearing as they do in other countries - and women will also take on the majority of work in caring for a family’s elderly relatives, often while looking after their kids and maintaining a full time job - so are very aware of their responsibilities. This carers role can mean less of a single minded focus on being a high achiever at work as well.

9. In what ways are things changing (if they are) for women in your country?
I think I’ve mentioned some trends above- particularly around work. In the future I think the trends to demand greater flexibility at work will continue, in particular the demand for compulsory paid parental leave. Also that greater focus is given to ensuring that both parents share childcare, so that women aren’t hampered by taking lots of time out of the workforce in terms of career progression. Super will be a growing issue as well as the population ages - neither sex are particularly well funded at this point (super contributions are generally a percentage of your salary), but women generally don’t contribute to super when they are not working, and may return to work earning less in the future - both affecting super balances (the funds you live on post retirement) - oh, and women continue to live longer! On less money! Definately a concern.

10. Are women organizing together to affect change? How?
Not on a wide basis - there are female MPs who occasionally lobby, a magazine of two who have a ‘campaign for change’, basically a couple of pages every few months, and some personal finance commentators. But I’m not terribly aware of any other organised efforts.