It’s not surprising that you don’t enjoy shoe shopping, if it’s generally a frustrating experience for you. I have a much easier time finding shoes, as I suspect most women who are into shoes do.
Most new shoes are stiff and need to be broken in. Try wearing them around the house and they’ll loosen up. And yes, that includes heels.
I like shoes for the same reason I like buying any other type of clothing: they’re cute, fun, and I like pretty things. Now my sister is the REAL shoe fan in the family (I like to call her Imelda Marcos), but shoes are fun to buy.
I don’t have a lot of pairs, but I do spend a decent amount on them for quality. My current sandals have lasted for so many years that the tan lines from them don’t fade completely over the winter.
I’m not shoe-obsessed like some women, but I do buy more pairs than necessary. If you are interested in fashion and clothing, a relatively small difference in shoe style can change the whole look of an outfit. 4 inch heel vs 2 inch really changes the proportion and look of a dress. Round toe vs pointy toe - different looks. Then colors, styles…it really does make an aesthetic difference to an outfit, so if that’s important to you, then that’s a reason for buying lots of shoes.
Black dress, black 3 inch matte heels, more of a chunky heel? Nice, safe, OK for work related functions. Black dress, black 5 inch shiny, stiletto heels? Ready to party. Then you could go trendy by wearing ankle boots with the dress, or add color with a red shoe. Etc Etc Etc.
Jeans and a basic t-shirt with running shoes? Casual, athletic. Jeans and a basic t-shirt with trendier casual shoes, like converse or toms? Relaxed but still stylish. Same clothes, ballet flats? More chic. Birks? Hippie look. Heels? Dressy. Leopard print 4 inch heels with a red sole? You get the picture.
Plus shoes don’t have anywhere near the emotional/body image baggage for women that clothes do. If I try on a dress and it’s too small I might be sad about needing a bigger size. With shoes it doesn’t matter nearly as much, so women who are uncomfortable trying on and buying clothes due to body confidence issues may buy shoes - the fun of shopping and wearing nice things, without the body image problems
Also, because, as mentioned, shoe size is more stable, and because some looks are pretty classic (compared to clothes), shoes accumulate. I think I am really low on the show-owning spectrum, but even I own three pairs of heels: basic black ones that are comfortable, some strappy-sparkly ones that I bought for a particular shindig, and some beige patent leather ones that work with everything the black ones clash with (navy and brown outfits). I think I have worn the beige ones maybe twice, and the strappy ones once. I have a pair of red chuck taylor hightops I bought well over a decade ago that are still serviceable. I wear out my work shoes every year, but that’s because I have a dedicated pair of work shoes.
I guess my point is that if a woman buys one pair of not-daily wear shoes a year, by the time she’s in her thirties, she’s easily got over a dozen pairs in her closet, which looks like a lot. You add in four or five pairs of daily-wear shoes–some combination of athletic and professional–that are really too worn now for regular use, but that linger “just in case”, and you’ve suddenly got a closet full. It doesn’t take being shoe-crazy to get there.
Yes, the more expensive heels – provide you’re actually paying for quality and not brand name – does make a difference. At my old store (I just recently changed jobs) I used to have a couple of example shoes to show women the difference between a well constructed heel and a bad one.
I’ve had an opportunity to work on some Bhlanik and Choo designer heels. While I still think they’re over priced, they are unquestionably better. The heels and other supporting structures are positioned to actually support and distribute your weight with minimal discomfort. The materials they are made of are top quality, and not just the visible portions, like the upper, but even the parts you don’t see. This makes repairing them – and if you sink $800-1,000 in a pair of shoes you’ll want to maintain and repair them! - ever so much easier and gives better results.
Yes, in some cases it’s a matter of brand. Some brands are just craptastic but people buy them because of the brand name (Harley Davidson I’m lookin’ at you)
In some cases, it’s the materials themselves. Exotic leathers, for example, will really drive up the price.
In some cases, it’s better engineering and materials. There’s a big difference between a sandal with real leather, a rubber sole/heel (as opposed to plastic), and proper construction of the interior (yes, sandals have interiors). There is also quality control – quality control apparently costs money but it makes a difference in the final product. I fix far too many footwear items that are faulty new right out of the box.
If you’re on your feet all day you want to invest in good shoes. I just acquired a pair that retails for over $130 (got a deal from a shoe store I used to do repairs for) and spent some time getting properly sized and fitted. I can work 10 hours on hard surfaces and yet at the end of the day my feet don’t hurt. There are replaceable insoles you can get with the shoes’ original ones wear out. There are all sorts of arch supports and stuff you can use to further customize your footwear.
I don’t get this either – never liked high heels myself (though I’m happy to repair them for other women as part of my living). But then, I’m a raging tomboy with hard to fit very wide feet, lack of high heels that [del]actually fit my feet[/del] I can even physically get my toes into may factor into my dislike of wearing them myself.
^ This. I can not buy the cheap (meaning under $100) heels anywhere because they simply don’t come in my size (7 to 7.5 EE). In the old days I’d go to an actual shoe store with actual salespeople who knew their stuff. Nowadays I more or less have to order on line if I want anything like that. Except I do know of an old-style shoe store about 25 miles from where I live. I got my most recent shoes there – a pair of walking shoes, not high heels – and the owner still had to special-order to get a pair that actually fit me.
People often tell me “your feet don’t look that wide”. Well, no, they don’t because they’re in proportion to the rest of my stocky self. I’m the original broad – broad hips, broad shoulders, broad hands, broad feet… I’m a broad. Great for hauling heavy objects, working with power tools all day, and since I’ll never be “fashionably thin” (I don’t think even my bare skeleton would qualify) I don’t feel compelled to chase that ideal. If my feet were “normal” width they’d look weird on me.
I have to disagree with that to some extent. Yes, someone whose feet just happen to fall into the range most commonly used by low-cost shoe makers may gleefully purchase oodles of fun, funky shoes and have a blast with them, but I see a LOT of women coming in to get shoes fixed who are very, very obviously wearing shoes that simply do not fit them: too small, too narrow, whatever. I fix the damage this causes to the shoes (and it does damage the shoes and shorten their life), the foot doctors attempt to fix the damage done to their feet. Which is a hell of a lot more expensive than designer footwear that actually fits. After enough time, they are no longer wearing high heels at all but coming into the place where I work to get special orthopedic modifications made to their shoes so they can walk at all. Those modifications, by the way, start at $45 each and can winding up costing over a hundred per shoe and will have to be done to every shoe these people wear, even the boring flats.
If your new shoes are a little tight and they’re actual leather you can purchase a “shoe stretch” spray and use that. Spray the leather thoroughly from the outside, then slip them on and walk around in them until they’re dry. It will stretch the leather to conform to your foot – up to a point, of course. About a half size difference is the max you will get out of that.
Or, you can put 90% (or better) isopropyl alcohol into a spray bottle and use that, as it’s the main ingredient in shoe-stretch spray.
Real leather also benefits from a good shoe polish/shoe cream/oil which can help soften the leather. Although certain coatings on leather will interfere with its ability to absorb those things. Also, pure mink oil or neatsfoot oil can darken leather or change the color, so for dressy shoes you might want to use the polish or a “leather lotion” type formulation.
Yeah, I’m a 38-er. 47-er if you count boots. (55-er if you count thongs. 58-er if you count slippers :D)
Basically because of what DeweyDecibel said. And because properly made, proper fitting footwear is as important to your health as quality food. Good balance and a lot of variety applies to both what you shove in your mouth, and what you put on yer hoof.
Wonderful replies, everyone. Now that we’ve got that sorted out, what would you consider the average price to be for a quality pair of shoes?
OP when you talk about spending $100 or more on a pair of shoes, are you referring to expensive designer “fashion” shoes or higher quality “everyday” footwear like walking shoes?
Because I’ve spent over $130 on good walking shoes for myself and nearly that much on the same for my wife, and consider it to be worth every penny. We both work on our feet all day, on hard concrete floors, and have to walk around a lot. Our experience has been that cheap shoes make our feet and lower legs hurt really bad. It’s like hitting your feet with a slab of concrete with every step.
I’ve no experience with more expensive “fashion shoes”, so I can’t comment on that. If my wife spent $400 on a pair of heels would they be better made or more comfortable than a $70 pair of heels, or are you just paying for the designer name?
Hard to answer - you may have to be a little more specific about the style of shoe you have in mind, spunkymuzicnote.
And yes, Apocalypso - a $400 pair of heels is vastly superior to a $70 pair. Unless the $70 pair is a $600 pair on special. But then blood would have been spilled. Though hopefully not on the shoes.
Let’s try two types - First, a good pair of work shoes for someone who has to be on their feet all day (like me). Second, a nice pair of comfortable heels that don’t make your feet hurt, but where you aren’t necessarily paying for a brand name.
Also, where would you go to buy these types of shoes?
Work shoes like court shoes, or work shoes like chef shoes I reckon you’re looking at about $150 - but I’m talkin’ Aussie dollars in the Land of Oz, and Redbacks for the industrial choice of footwear. So I should probably shut up now and go Dubbin some of my shoes.
If you are buying “not brand name” shoes, you’re probably buying them from Target or Payless, so you’re not really buying quality shoes.
Try this approach. Go into a good department store with a large shoe selection, say Nordstrom, and find a pair of shoes that you like and that fit well without looking at the price. Then ask yourself, what would you not pay for the style, quality and comfort? Now, you may not need/want a pair of Manolo Blahniks, but I bet there are a ton of shoes under $300 that you’d be happy to walk out of the store with. But pay for them first.
I learned long ago that cheap shoes just aren’t worth it. No support, cheap materials, weird fit, all sorts of issues. Disclaimer - I have no financial stake in this company: I love me some SAS! I have a pair of brown loafers that I bought 20+ years ago at the then-outrageous price of $65. I still wear them today, altho they’ve been demoted to grungy around-the-house-and-yard shoes. I replaced them with 2 new pairs of SAS loafers - one in black and one in brown. The price has gone up to $105 and they no longer give you a little pack of truffles when you buy the shoes, but they’re still the most comfortable shoes ever! No break-in period, just slip them on and go. And at my age, I figure I’ll have these till I die.
My other shoes of choice are sneakers - OK, white walking shoes - and while I don’t care about brands so much, I’ve found that a good name generally means a good-fitting shoe. For good support, wide width, and decent quality leather, I’ll spend upwards of $100 for these also. Happy feet make happy me! 
Can’t address heels, tho - I fall off them suckers. My dress shoes are plain black flats. Fortunately, I don’t have to dress up too often.
You may have converted me! Considering that I live in Upstate New York, what sorts of stores would I be looking for to get a good pair of work shoes (I’m a teacher)?
For my wife, its because she can fit into the same pair of shoes regardless of her weight. Her weight fluctuates a lot, and with pants and coats she has to hang onto a ton of them (since she never knows when she might fit them again). But with shoes, its consistent.
Though in her case, she tries to find nice, marked-down pairs of shoes.
Because those things are hideously ugly.
Even good expensive heels are not as comfy as slippers 
For good everyday work shoes, Naturalizer, Sofft, Rockport, Born - those are a few brands that are renowned for comfort at a reasonable (not $700) price point. Those brands will all have styles that are teacher appropriate. If you are going to try heels, don’t start with three inches, start with a low heel.
I’ve taken to having a lot of shoes - from a few pair. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten girlier. And things like painted nails and red heels are fun. I’m not waiting until I’m 70 to have a purple hat either, I bought one.
Rather than shopping Payless, try a place like Marshalls, the DSW clearance rack, or if you have a Nordstrom Rack near you - its ideal. You may have to haunt it (it took me six or seven stops to find a pair of black loafers a few years ago), but its possible to find well made shoes for - if not for Payless prices, at least not department store prices.
$100 or so. I buy designer shoes like the aforementioned Choo and Manolos, but I buy them at the outlet mall or on clearance-- my last purchase was a $700 pair of Jimmy Choo nude pumps for work. . . but I only paid $115. Otherwise, I do have a couple pairs from Naturalizer that I wear, but with that brand, you just have to be very selective, as it’s easy to fall into grandma shoes.
Yeah, but generally my clients don’t appreciate me wearing slippers to the office. Dicks, the lot of 'em.