If I recall correctly, at one time, the Bubba Gump Shrimp Company had, on its menu, the “Bucket of Boat Trash.” Shrimp, crab, some other seafoods, veggies, rice. The name did not make it appetizing to me, but my girlfriend was intrigued, and ordered it. She said it was pretty good.
As for the OP’s question: What is poutine?
Answer: It’s a heart attack on a plate.
Gravy does not belong on anything, but especially not on cheese curds.
Poutine with diced bacon is divine.
There used to be a fast-food chain called Mrs. and Mr. Potato in South Korea. One of their more popular items with the foreign crowd was poutine. Sadly, the chain went defunct a few years ago.
The only time I’ve had poutine was a couple of times in grad school, when I made it myself for department potlucks. Whatever it was, it was good, but both times, the French-Canadian guy in the department wasn’t able to attend, so I have no idea how accurate my rendition was.
The hidden downside of announcing in advance what dish you will be bringing 
Growing up in NJ, I never thought disco fries could be improved upon. But poutine is truly a step up. I”ve quit French fries for years, and only make an exception for good poutine.
Isn’t there a group (puta in Spanish, putain in French, probably similiar in other romance languages?) of swear words that look like it? Then you got pudendum for genitals, poontang meaning sexual activity…I figure the wink wink relates to some or all of the above?
This sentence is as sad as an ad for baby shoes.
This is something cheap and easy you bash out at home, it’s just basic comfort food. Frozen regular fries are okay. The gravy can come from a satchet, preferably St. Hubert’s, which isn’t possible anymore as they were bought out by Swiss Chalet. Is it some kind of brownish gravy? S’fiiiine. As long as you like it, that’s what matters.
What really matters is that you use actual cheese curds. A mild, young mozzarella comes close if you can’t find any curds, but definitely don’t tell anyone that’s what you did.
That said, somebody else from la belle province may have stronger opinions about this. I’ll just reiterate that it’s cheap comfort food and anybody getting up in arms about “authenticity” has got to get their head checked. *Though “gourmet” poutine strikes me as really weird. That’s like, I don’t know, gourmet grits or something.
“Poutine is proof that God loves us, and wants us to be happy.” - Benjamin Franklin, maybe
I did indeed have to substitute mozzarella for the curds. I can find curds around here, but I couldn’t when I was in Montana.
But I made the fries using bacon, so maybe that makes up for it?
Sounds more like Homer Simpson to me. 
For saltiness, I’d use cheddar cheese curds. Aged white cheddar cheese. 
Are Swiss Chalet sauces available in the US? They are in Canada.
I couldn’t even begin to tell you without looking at Wikipedia. I’m in the NCR, eh? Magic 8-ball points to no, though.
That said, I’d probably not use Swiss Chalet sauce anyway, if I was going to disrespct my waistline and go Full Poutine. They put something a bit weird in there, cinnamon or something. It may work well with the poultry but it just… I don’t know, it’s weird, I don’t care for it so much. Your mileage may vary. If you like it, go for it!
Bacon makes up for a multitude of cooking sins. 
I’m all in on adding bacon, just once. Might as well go all the way…
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