OK in Australia after you have lived together for a certain period you are considered a defacto couple and for all intents and purposes the law considers you married.
Boy, that sure sounds like a rather vague requirement meant to keep lawyers and judges employed.
I’m with panache45 on this. I used to be in favour of civil unions because it let any consenting adult ‘marry’ another consenting adult. They could choose whether they told people the were married or partnered or united in Og, whatever.
Now it turns out that there are legal differences.
I am now in favour of SSM, because that word ‘marriage’ has both social and legal standing separate from long term relationships that are not recognised with that specific name.
If the law says common law/ civil union / married are three different yet similar things, why should I insist they’re exactly the same?
This describes me and my partner (girlfriend? pre-wife?) to a T. I’m just happy I am with the most amazing woman to ever grace this planet, and she is happy to have the feeling of financial and legal independence (and i hope happy about being with someone who is ‘good enough’ 
). We’re coming up on year 9 (me at age 29, her at age 26) and no complaints so far. We pay rent together, have a dog together, and someday plan on having children together. We’re married in everything but name.
What’s awkward that, as the male in the relationship, it is always assumed that I haven’t asked her to marry me. “Why don’t you pop the question? When are you getting married?” It is as if it is the male’s duty to ask the female, and any girl worth her salt would be chomping at the bit to get married. But I don’t want to embarrassed my girl and explain at length how through personal reasons she has chosen to put off marriage for the time being, and that as the male in the relationship I am game for whatever she wants because in the end, I’m happy just being with her regardless of legal paperwork or title.
This is going to sound silly, but the only thing I am worried about is being able to brag at a long marriage. You know how you see those announcements in the newspaper about such-and-such couple is celebrating their 50th anniversary? I worry that 9 years together without marriage won’t count, so I won’t get to someday say “well, we’ve been married 50 years and going strong”. Instead I’ll have to say “We’ve been married 30 years, with 20 years of hardcore dating!”, just not the same ring to . Silly when you think about it, isn’t it?
I agree with the OP, I think, in asking the opposite question: why do people who are behaving exactly as though they are married choose not to get married?
I can understand not wanting to get tied down or whatever, but, pace solosam, you don’t have to be if you don’t want to be. And anyway, these are people who are already tied down. You can get married without suddenly having to adhere to traditional gender roles, having to get a joint bank account*, having to live in the same house (though, again, these are people who already do), having to obey, having to forsake all others, or whatever. I realize none of that is a reason to get married but not wanting to do those things is what I’ve usually seen as the reason not to. You can even have the legal status, and the advantages it confers, without using the terminology in your day to day life, and chances are it won’t bring plagues down on Pharaoh and his house.
I understand same-sex couples sometimes use the terminology in jurisdictions where the legal status is denied them.
*I think two adults heading a household should have a joint bank account, even if they also maintain separate accounts as well, regardless of marital status, but that’s not what the thread is about.
Well, that is funny enough that IMO it might be worth it to put off “official” marriage for a few years.
Doing the nasty hard for 50 years! Keeping it legal for 30!
Well, I think you’d be pretty safe calling yourself husband and wife in casual conversation and such. It’s more than that state can’t go “aha! You’ve been living together for X years-- you’re now officially married!” but instead the couple has to do something to indicate that they want to be married, like take one another’s name or file a joint tax return or something like that.
There is definitely still a lot of room for vagueness though.
No, I get it. It sounds amazingly stupid, and I know this is dumb to tell you, but as somebody who tied the knot exactly three weeks ago yesterday, it’s this weird and different thing. Not because we filled out some paperwork, but because of the community thing - we even did a Quaker wedding certificate that’s all about being married by your friends and family, and things are both different and definitely not-different. Not different in that we can laugh when somebody farts about the honeymoon being over, and different because I had occasion while checking into a hotel on our honeymoon to say “my husband” and being really all Keanu “whoa!” about it.
But yeah - you look at people like my grandparents, who unless one of them was in the hospital had not slept apart since World War II, who I celebrated their 60th anniversary with… that’s something special and something everybody recognizes. And if you feel the same, I want you to get “credit” for it! But now having done it, shit, that’s a big thing, standing in front of everybody you care about and saying for the record “till death” etc. It meant a lot to me and I was very surprised that it did.
I had an acquaintance who cohabitated with her man of choice. When I met her, i incorrectly assumed he was a husband and referred to him as such. She was ADAMANT that he was not her husband. Turns out she desperately wanted to be married and he, being the logical, engineering type, didn’t see any reason to do the deed. So I guess there are a lot of reasons why someone who lives with another chooses to not acknowledge that they’re “married”.