The funniest thing ever in our house is the “Red Zone Cuba” episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. There’s one part where we always have to pause the movie because we’re laughing so hard we can’t breathe. Then we laugh and laugh for like 10 minutes and finally start the movie up again.
Second funniest: Smoking monkeys.
Oh come on!!!
Whats the funniest thing YOU ever saw! not movies and stuff other people **made ** to be funny, real stuff you saw, that was the funniest ever. Lets have some original humor here!
Although George Bush vomiting on the prime minister quite makes the cut… :eek:
Wow, yeah, thats a tough one. Funny, original , huh?
I still think my aunts sobbing uncontrollably as they make their way to a coffin only to see that it wasnt my Grandpa in there was hilarious. The way they threw their arms up in the air and ran screaming from the coffin still makes me chuckle to this day!!
I have thought long and hard on this. For years. I have meditated and studied on the funniest things known. I have seen phenomena that would make Catholic nun school teachers crap their habits. I have heard jokes that would bring convusive laughter to waxy catatonics. Finally, the thread asks the fateful question, and I am ready. The funniest thing in the world is…
a monkey in a cowboy suit riding a dog around.
And I open up the thread and see two people already posted it?? AGGGGHH!!! MOTHERF&%^$#!!!*
Okay, seriously, my mom, aunt and aunt’s hubbie/my uncle all grew up in the same Mayberryesque small town. My uncle’s family had a Rhesus monkey as a pet, quite a sight in the 1950’s. My grandfather had thought about buying it for my mom and aunt, but one day, he came home laughing so hard he couldn’t barely tell them why. Apparently the monkey got loose, and every male body in town was deputized into the monkey posse. After many near misses, close calls, and hijinks, the monkey cheesed it to the U.S. Post Office, where, in the words of my uncle, “what he couldn’t tear up, he shit on.” Many brave men tried to stop the monkey in his rampaging violations of state, local, and now federal crime, but like many criminals he was simply too small, too fast, and too quick with the shit fling. Everybody in the town had their incoming and outgoing mail liberally smeared with monkey shit for several days.
Well, the monkey eludes capture by both the duly deputized posse and the federal officers in the employ of the U.S. Postal Service, and makes back to the roof of my uncle’s house somehow. By this time it is generally recognized, as it often is in Texas, that the only solution is to shoot the little sonofabitch. So the monkey, seeing my uncle’s dad approaching with the shotgun…runs to the other side of the roof. My uncle’s dad goes around to the other side of the house…and the monkey runs to the other side of the roof. My uncle’s dad goes around to the other side of the house…I think you can see where I’m going with this.
Anyway, the story has a happy ending. for several hours later, the monkey was apprehended without harm, or perhaps turned himself in. My aunt and mother, despite their protestations, did not get the monkey. The monkey was sold to a man in the next town and quietly lived out his days…
…as a rodeo attraction, wearing a cowboy suit and riding a dog around.
And that’s the funniest thing ever.
Hmmm… well, the movie “What’s Up, Doc?” has some of the funniest moments in any film ever. The car chase is hysterical. I’ve seen that picture probably ten times and still laugh my head off when that part comes on. And I LOATHE Barbra Streisand and Ryan O’Neal any other place on the planet.
Hey… I’m a woman and I love the Three Stooges. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!
From one of the stories in mangomerlot’s link:
That’s got to be the funniest thing ever. I can’t stop laughing.
Thank you, mangomerlot. Thank you.
The funniest thing ever (of recent vintage) happened at a gentleman’s club on East Pico. One unfortunate dancer, who may have been hampered by weak wrists or sweaty palms, was in the midst of a standard move, hanging upside down four feet above the floor on a fireman’s pole, when she all of a sudden lost her grip and crashed down upon the stage.
On the Late Show with David Letterman they had a monkey scrubbing a cat. Thats gotta be up there.
Monty Python: The Fish Slap dance.
To me, this is the funniest thing ever:
Monkeys certainly seem to be featuring a lot. I agree that they and their buddies the great apes are always most amusing.
Ahhaha.
Anyway I actually did find the funniest thing ever once, but you have to understand the context. It’s the guy who was king of Egypt from 338-336 B.C. He was the second ruler of the Thirty-first Dynasty, apparently.
The thing is, I want you to really appreciate that he lived long, long before modern English and all its tricks - so no-one in his day knew what was funny. When he was buried, presumably his name was writ large above his tomb, and for the next two millennia there he lay, presiding like a silent malevolence over the Roman Empire, the dark ages, the Renaissance, and all the other stuff. Through all that, his name remained undeniable:
This is what he was called: http://www.touregypt.net/31dyn02.htm
There you go. The. Funniest. Thing. Ever. If you’re not laughing it’s clearly cos you blew a funny fuse.
I was going to say that I don’t know about the funniest thing ever, but this is the funniest post in this thread.
Then I read pravnik’s post about his uncle’s monkey and changed my mind.
Monkeys are funny.
How about a farting monkey in a cowboy hat riding a collie?
I think someone’s already said that an important element of funny is an unexpected occurence. When someone stands on a plastic chair (or a glass table as I saw last night on KHV) I don’t find it funny because I know exactly what is going to happen.
Someone standing on a plastic chair and it’s legs collapsing : Not funny.
Someone standing on a plastic chair and then being crushed by a UFSW* : Funny.
[sub](Unidentified Flying Sumo-Wrestler)[/sub]
Well, this may not be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen, but my ex was commencing to throw a full can of tomato juice at me during a fight. He was going out and wanted money, which I wasn’t about to give him. He had just gotten out of the shower and was looking all studly and ready to pick up the chicks, and I told him I wasn’t going to give him any money to go out drinking. He drew his arm back to wing this huge can at me, and because it was so big, he lost his grip and it dumped over his perfectly coiffed hair and white shirt. Bwahahaha! He was definitely late for THAT date! It was beautiful.
Another monkey vote. Sort of.
I can’t link to it right now, but I’m sure many of you have seen this video I’m thinking of that is truly the funniest thing ever.
A chimpanzee is sitting low in a tree, at the crook of a couple of branches. He reaches down with one hand and sticks his finger in his butt. Then he brings that finger to his face and smells it. Well it must have been pretty awful because he suddenly throws his head back, his arms out to the sides, and he swoons and falls out of the tree.
My friends and I have more recurring jokes than we can keep track of. As recurring jokes, they are incomprehensible to outsiders, which is why I must post one.
“A man walks into his flat to discover that everything he owns has been replaced with an exact duplicate. His flatmate walks in and says, ‘Do I know you?’”
Repeated enough times (especially to people who haven’t heard it before), it becomes hilarious.
The funniest thing ever was when the Onion did the sidebar: “Hank Williams Jr. Honored by National Society for Football Preparedness.”
Also, any faux musical on the Simpsons, ever. I’m giggling just thinking of the Planet of the Apes musical (“Oh my god, I was wrong/it was earth all along/I love you, Dr. Zaius!”) and the Streetcar Named Desire musical (“Stellllaaaa! Can’t you hear me yell-a/you’re putting me through hell-a! Stelllllaaaaa!”).
The Very Secret LOTR Diaries are one of the funniest things I have ever read.
This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen.
