McDonaldLand has apparently twice been covered in Cecil’s column. Once examining the origin of the Grimace (http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a940429.html) and again discussing McDonald’s infringement of H.R. Pufnstuf. (http://www.straightdope.com/columns/990827.html) However, the details of McDonaldLand’s noir-ish past have never quite been pulled together.
The treacly press release dutifully recited by Ms. Hulbert in the first column was carefully constructed revisionist history. In fact, Cecil wasn’t too far off the mark in his speculation about Grimace’s origin. Grimace, however, was not a later revision, but rather one of the original characters.
Originally, McDonalds had conceived of McDonaldLand as a somewhat less carefree place. Ronald and the forces of order (Mayor McCheese and the policeman, Big Mac) had to be constantly vigilant, defending McDonaldLand’s foodstuffs from the predations of a number of incompetent but persistent villains (another obvious lift from H.R. Pufnstuff, and later Kroft shows).
The Hamburglar (not, in fact, a hamburger, but a guy wearing a black cape, lone ranger mask, and fedora over prison stripes, and prone to babbling “robble robble”) was obsessed with stealing the hamburgers that grew in McDonaldLand (in a hamburger patch, as I recall). The Grimace (originally referred to as “The Evil Grimace”, thus explaining the derivation of his name, if not his species) was inordinately fond of McDonalds’ “triple thick” shakes. The shelf-like rudimentary hands that sprouted from his mid-Torso were apparently evolved expressly to serve as cupholders for the shakes he stole. A group of creatures resembling mops with eyes, occasionally seen today and referred to as the “Fry Guys”, were then known as the “Gobblins” (I suspect that their name was changed either to discourage unsafe eating habits or in deference to the Christian Right), and periodically infested the french fry bushes of McDonaldLand. Yet another villain, a pirate named “Captain Crook”, had no dietary specialty that I recall, and seems to have been purged from the cast list in recent years.
All of these original cast members appeared in McDonalds commercials about 25-30 years ago. I don’t recall any specific plots, except that they weren’t very elaborate (what would you expect in a 1 or 2 minute commercial?) and generally just involved Ronald seeing the theft in progress, and then tricking the thief in some fashion.
Exactly when the tone shifted, and life in McDonaldLand became so damn fun loving, instead of a constant struggle between good and evil, I’m not certain. Remember, though that there were no Happy Meals or McNuggets back then, or even McMuffins or other breakfast items (which the “Birdie” character was created to promote). The “CosMc” character is also a later creation, with which I am not myself familiar.
Does anyone else remember anything I’ve left out?