HA! Exactly! Let’s get a bunch of depressed girls together who need serious therapy, chop 'em up a lot to make them as pretty as they can possibly get, and then tell some of them, “Sorry. You’re not pretty enough to be in our pageant.”
Yeah, ok… I still watch. Damn!
No, SNL did it, too. (Though I don’t know if they did it before or after The Onion did.) Christina Ricci was the guest host, that episode.
I will tell you no such thing. Because it would rock. 
Yeah, I remember that episode. I’m pretty sure it was after '99. It’s memorable because Christina Ricci definitely looked the part of a starving contestant. Just a little too thin at that point in her life.
it’s probably been posted somewhere, but in Japan they took a guy named Nasubi, holed him up in an apartment with no contact with the outside world, and everything he ate and wore and had in the apt had to be won in mail-order contests. He was there for, like a year or something. Just when he thought he’d won, they spririted him somewhere in Korea and made him win the trip home. Sadistic. I don’t even think we need to be too creative…some of the stuff on tv now is truly horrific. The tone-deaf moaning coming from American idol is truly scary.
Pity the poor camera crews. They’ll be the first to snuff it.
eh, i’m sure some kind of compromise can be reached in return for immunity for the camera crews. ice cream?
If you could some how transport me back in time to high school but I wouldn’t be able to change anything, just re-live the whole thing.
That’d be pretty cruel.
Now THAT’s evil.
A good-natured church preacher who speaks well is offered a religious TV show–a show that is run by the Devil, or someone with evil tendecies. it is up to the preacher to find the loopholes to get out of his contract.
I’d watch it.
You mean like Pat Robertson? 
“My Big Fat Obnoxious Church Contract”
I caught a bit of a show just like this, on Trio I think it was. Buncha young girls unsupervised in a house together. I never found out the name of it but the few moments I watched were riveting.
Holy crap, you guys are sick!
And you’d make a lot of money too! 
Hmm. How about The Office:
An everyday social-misfit techie type is hired for a good-sounding job.
Unknown to him, everyone he works with is an actor, tasked to present him with a steadily-increasing environment of surreality. His cubicle is moved arbitrarily. He is tempted by luscious co-workers, and then slapped down if he starts to hope for social contact. His tasks become more and more baroque and incomprehensible. Procedures and priorities change on a day-to-day basis–and everything has to be documented.
After the first month, ethical dilemmas start to arise. Will he steal these office supplies when the monitor isn’t looking so I can meet that deadline? Will he help Co-worker X take this computer home so she can work while tending her children? (The first couple of times, she brings it back…) Boss wants some help with the spreadsheet–but wait! The numbers don’t add up!
Can the worker make it to the end of his three-month probation?
I’ve got it…anyone remember the Wheel of Pain from the first Conan movie?
You could film it Big Brother style, with 24 hour webcams. The winner is the one who survives the longest, or who grinds 50 tons of grain first. (Whichever comes first)
This was in the letters page of a newspaper I read this morning, and I thought it was brilliant:
You get the contestants for Big Brother into the house as normal… and then simply don’t televise it. The thought of all these attention-hungry freaks playing up to the cameras for no reason at all just really tickles me. And the best part is when they are released from the house and there is nobody there at all waiting for them. Nobody cares. Genius.
Am I on TV?
and in the end, someone steals his red Swingline stapler…
will this push him over the edge?
OK, stealing this from the Simpsons, Exchange kids to other countries in a foriegn exchange program, then when they show up, make them slave laborers to disgusting, hard jobs. The winners are the ones that make their own way back home.
There’s always I’m Born Again, Get Me Outta Here.
