I have a couple… they happened the same year (while I was going to college, unsurprisingly).
First… :looks around nervously:
There is a photo of me and some of my friends floating around somewhere. In this picture, I am quite cleary, out of my mind on various psychoactive substances. I’d post the list, but I wouldn’t want to scare anyone. But in this picture, I am wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and a drenched towel around my neck. The towel was drenched with my own sweat, which was pouring off of me in buckets. My eyes are also as big as dinner plates, and my face is white as a ghost, and I have this extremely goofy grin on my face.
That description doesn’t really do the picture justice, I just can’t put it into words. Everybody’s reaction when they saw it was: “AAAHHHH!!!”.
(thankfully, I gave up doing this sort of stupid crap many years ago)
Second one (same year):
There are a few short videos of me that my enterprising roomate made after I had come home from a night of drinking a bit too much. In one of them, I am “dancing”. And by “dancing” I mean rambling incoherently about something and shaking my ass whilst bumping into things.
The other one is of me after I had fallen down on my bed. The front of my shirt had some of my own vomit splattered on the front. Then there is a brief interview that went something like this:
Roomate: So, TeleTronOne, watcha been drinkin’?
Me (very slowly and hard to understand): Voooddddd…kaaaaa…
Roomate: Had a little too mu…
Me: AAAARRGHH! (runs off camera to toilet and begin puking very loudly)
Thankfully the worst stuff I did in my sordid youth was NOT documented in any way
One time several years ago I was in the Straight Dope IRC chat and someone (who no longer posts here) dared me to send him a picture of one of my breasts. I couldn’t think of any reason why not, so I did. I guess it’s not incriminating since you can’t see my face or anything but I always wonder if it stayed at its destination or had a little cyber-journey amongst his friends, lol.
There are photos of me dressed in frilly, revealing women’s clothing taken in a dressing room last summer. I can’t say I didn’t have some fun, but I can say that I have all the copies and the negatives.
There’s a photo of 5 vaguely round objects, all the same size, all in a row: Breast, breast, my head, breast, breast. I had the photo taken specifically to cheese off my housemate, who had a major big-breast fetish. It’s a polaroid, so no worries about the negative. Though, uh, I’m not sure where it is right now.
There was also a video I made; I was flirting heavily with a woman on the net, and she wanted a photo. Given that I had no computer (just a dumb terminal and a modem – this was a long time ago) and my housemate had a video camera, I taped myself, fully clothed, but posing to appear as burly and manly as possible. It’s not exactly incriminating, but it’s pretty damn embarassing. I have no idea what she did with it.
Oh, and I took various photos of myself in nothing but small, bright red underwear and gave them to a girlfriend. She’s since gotten married, but she doesn’t want to give the pictures back. I do hope they’re never discovered, as her husband tends towards jealous rages.
There’s an incriminating photo and an incriminating video of me. Both of them show me cross-dressing as Madonna.
The picture is from freshmen year of high school. The trumpet section initiated me by crossdressing all us freshmen trumpeters after abducting us from our homes at 4am. I’ve got a blonde wig, snow cone boobies, and am wearing a cheap, slutty robe (since I was too large for a cheap, slutty dress).
The video is from senior year of high school. For a Spanish skit on the clothing chapter of our textbook, I wound up having to wear a pink polka-dot dress and blonde wig. To ham up my role, I also sang “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina” in badly-translated Spanish.
Mine is pretty innocent. I was playfully wrestling with ARose on Catalyst’s couch last summer when someone snapped a pic. We were both in bathing suits, and so from the angle the picture was taken at, all you can really see of me is bare legs, flailing arms, and a big, goofy smile. His bare back and arms around/above me make the whole situation look a little sketchy. Especially amusing are the 5 other people in the picture, obviously ignoring our silly antics.
Aw jeez, I can’t believe that I’m going to tell you guys this…
When I was in my second year of University, I did a stint as an investigative journalist for the college paper. It was your usual student rag, with exposees of the shockingly lax campus security, movie and music sections, and in-depth articles about whatever the hell we wanted. One day, some bright spark decided it would be a good idea to invesigate the murky yet glamorous world of the Male Escort, and it fell to yours truly to do the investigating.
To cut a long story short, I had some photos taken and applied to become a Male Escort at a variety of agencies, some pretty reputable, some definitely not. I was hired by a couple, and even went as far as meeting a couple of clients. Purely in the interest of journalistic research, of course (ahem). While the money was good, I didn’t stick around. I wrote the article, enjoyed a measure of campus notoreity, and then promptly graduated and got on with my life.
Years later, I still wonder about those photos. While they weren’t nude or anything, they’re definitely not something I’d like my family to see. Think “Suggestive Gigolo” rather than “Playgirl”. Anyway, I just hope no-one at the paper kept a copy…
