I didn’t know what to search for this question, so sorry if it’s been asked before. As you’ll see, some people don’t feel this is prejudiced behaviour, so that’s why I didn’t put it in GQ.
Basically, it’s the pattern of “oh, I don’t care what [LBGT/blacks/whatever] do, but do they need to make it such an issue? Like what’s the point of a [Group] Pride parade? I don’t need it shoved in my face!”
A line in the Laramie Project sums it up well: “What they really is, 'I don’t tell you I’m [gay], and you don’t beat me up.”
Is there a specific name for this? People always cast themselves so innocently but it makes my bristle just as much as people who are significantly more up front with their views.
The word for that kind of bigotry is bigotry. You can bet your ass they’d think the issue was worth making a big deal of if it affected them. They know the points being made are valid so they’re left with nowhere but to that stupid soft complaint to retreat.
Yes, bigotry is the right word. You might point out (but it likely won’t help) that without the gay pride parades and other demos the recent degrees of acceptance of LGBT would not have happened. Once the whole country has accepted this (maybe 2020 or 2025) those parades will have accomplished their purpose and ought to have disappeared.
Ask such a person if the civil rights act would have passed congress without things like the bus boycott, the march on Washington and all the other acts in the 60s. If you are a minority, then only demos will get your point across.
It was with a group of medical administrators who have the power to make me miserable for the next month. All I offered was “the other 364 days of the year!” when one asked “when is straight pride day?”
I think the proper term for this kind of bigot is “defeated.” It tends to be the last gasp of a bigot who’s had every rationalization for his prejudice shredded, and now just wants people to shut up about it so he can stop feeling stupid.