Quite a dilemma.
Q: What is Buddha-nature, master?
A: Buddha-nature is getting your balls chewed off. Stop asking stupid questions and go get me some aloe!
Quite a dilemma.
Q: What is Buddha-nature, master?
A: Buddha-nature is getting your balls chewed off. Stop asking stupid questions and go get me some aloe!
I like this part:
So, they’re not advocating that anyone soak the little bastards with insecticide, but, you know, if the exterminator just happened to be in the area…
I wonder if said exterminator then tried to sell the monks, say, a pencil for the same amount that an extermination job generally costs, if they’d pay up.
Ohm my god, that’s hilarious!
This just in:
ANG HOC SI TEMPLE, GEORGETOWN, MALAYSIA(WPI) – “In 47,325,188 separate cases of mistaken identity, an enclave of Buddhist monks claim, they met the Buddha on the road today, and killed him, generally with a moderate-to-heavy application of malathion.”
I couldn’t get your link to work, but the UPI story has some funny moments:
Besides, there’s no anti-itching meditation available.
How very Henry II of him. 837 years later, the temple stands in for the cathedral at Canterbury. All we need is four exterminators and we’ve got the makings of a play in verse – Murder at the Bodhi Tree:
ACT I:
KENG: Will no one rid me of these turbulent ants?/Our legs are all scarred/We wear shemdaps, not pants!
EXTERMINATOR ONE: The Keng is forbidden from justified killing/But he’s been overheard/By some guys who are willing!
EXTERMINATOR TWO: Let us ready our poisons/The Oil of Mint/The Hemlock, the Foxglove/We’ve taken the hint!
EXTERMINATOR THREE: Better yet, bring the pyrethrinol 8/It’s quicker and safer than/Organophosphate!
EXTERMINATOR FOUR: Away now while noble Keng’s conscience stays clear/We’ll come back when there are no more ants to fear!
ACT II:
FIRE ANT QUEEN: I’ve been tempted by junk food and candy and syrup/I’m bound to resist or/My acne won’t clear up/Chomping on Buddhists is making us soft/They never fight back/They just sigh or they cough/We ants must do battle or else we’ll become/A colony of worthless bodhi-tree bums!
EXTERMINATOR ONE: Aroint thee, thou ant who so vexes the good/The Buddhists won’t stomp you/But somebody should!
EXTERMINATOR TWO: Surely we–
EXTERMINATOR THREE: We’ll grab those antennae/Grip tightly and then pull–
EXTERMINATOR FOUR: By killing you now we can save–
EXTERMINATOR TWO: Surely–
EXTERMINATOR FOUR: Temple.
FIRE ANT QUEEN: You needn’t have come armed with/Poisonous bane/That pun would kill anything/With half a brain/You won’t understand/But thanks anyway/By slaying me you’ve saved my people this day.
CHORUS: Uh, we…we hadn’t actually prepared anything. Frankly, we’re amazed anyone read this far.
CURTAIN
Some days I just don’t feel worthy of posting here at the SDMB. When I read posts like King of Soup’s, it just amplifies that.
WELL DONE! HUZZAH!
Ahhh. Life immitating art.
Reminds me of this: The Onion | America's Finest News Source.
For some reason, this killed me.
What did the monk say to the hot dog vendor?
Answer: Make me one with everything.
(highlight the answer)
-Steve Martin
Indeed. It’s an honor that my humble OP should be the home for such genius.
Oh, piffle. The sweet smell of innocence overpowers the flattery – which, like any perfume, should be smelled, never swallowed. Cervaise has always been more generous in his (her? Maybe, but I don’t think so) praise than mere politeness would suggest, August West has nothing to apologize for, and Sophistry and Illusion is blushed at
because s/he liked the only line I laughed at as I typed it.
The humor here – all of it – belongs to the OP, who recognized an inherently funny situation when s/he saw it, and lobbed an easy lay-up to the rest of us. Since then, I’ve just been in the way. Let others try, and we’ll see what happens.