President Obama is not actually a natural born citizen and therefore ineligible for the office.
Stickers on the back of traffic signs. When your driving on the Right side of the road you can’t see them, but the (insert invading country here) drive on the Left side, like they do at home, they are perfectly obvious. Apparently, actually pointing out that these stickers are there to identify when the sign was made/erected, will get you lectured on the fact of "Thats what they want you to believe. Yes, this happened to me, I’m starting to believe that my best friend may be a nut.
Chemtrails.
That’s the one where people look up and see vapor contrails from military and passenger jets, and claim that ‘the government’ is spraying something from the planes that makes them sick. Not sick enough, apparently, to be hospitalized, or even to get a coherent doctor’s report; likewise this massive amount of ‘spraying’ is being done for no apparent reason, and no one amongst the thousands of civil and military air and ground crew involved have ever breathed a word about it. I visited a couple of sites touting this idea a couple years ago and was amused to read breathless claims of photographic proof that these chemicals were being sprayed from the wingtips, only to see very clear photos of ordinary contrails emanating from the engine exhausts, just as one would expect.
And HookerChemical should know, eh?
The all-time strangest conspiracy theory I’ve heard was actually one of those all-encompassing spiderweb theories that indiscriminately swallow other CTs whole. This one happened to involve the secret Soviet and Chinese armies massing inside the Hollow Earth, with the aid of psychic androids created by a giant three-headed Satanic crab monster who sent microscopic UFOs made of sodium to infiltrate the bloodstream of its victims and control their minds.
In hindsight, the strangeness of this theory may have been augmented by the fact that it was relayed to me by a fellow in the parking lot of my apartment complex. Since the guy knew where I lived, I was fairly keen to keep on his good side so that he didn’t decide to classify me as an android duplicate (he claimed he’d been incarcerated for having attacked the duplicate of his girlfriend). He gave me some literature.
For a while I was convinced he was the Time Cube guy, but I have since learned that the “multi-color/font size” Internet style isn’t particularly uncommon for these sorts of people. Apparently the Time Cube guy does live in my neighborhood too, though. I often think about relocating. If I ever start doing the multifont thing, you’ll know it’s contagious and that I’ve been sucked in too. Or else the sodium UFOs got me.
Yes, but we’re not about to say.
It all begins to make sense, though - when you consider that Canola was developed by tinkering with rape at the University of Manitoba, and that the word “canola” is a portmanteau derived from CANadian Oil, Low Acid.
The related product LEAR (Low Erucic Acid Rapeseed) has also found its way into the food supply… this acronym is a sly acknowledgment of one of the other tentacles of the vast Canadian conspiracy for World Domination.
But don’t think about that too much. That way lies madness.
Long ago I read about Concave Hollow Earth theory. Y’all are thinking, “Yeah, yeah, we know about hollow earth, Dork, that’s not strange or obscure.”
What makes this theory cool isn’t the belief that the earth is hollow: it’s the belief that the Earth is hollow, and that we’re on the inside.
What makes it even stranger is that, according to mathematician Martin Gardner (see link), there’s no way to disprove certain formulations of the concave hollow Earth theory.
Daniel
That’s what I was going to say.
According to one guy I used to know, chemtrails are part of the government helping the lizard aliens under DIA promote “service to self” whilst in cahoots with the Grays, while some kind of other is in telepathic communication with a few [DEL]crazy[/DEL] enlightened individuals to promote “service to others” and thus save the planet from pole shifts.
Or something like that. He also insisted one must ground ones tinfoil caps or they wouldn’t work. To his credit, it wasn’t actually tinfoil but rather a wire mesh which should be sufficient for whatever wavelength it was.
Then there was the bigfoot one (from another guy). Bigfoot’s are employed by Grays as muscle. They handle the heavy lifting as well as intimidating people that are in the way or stumble upon their secret bases in the Colorado Rockies.
That doesn’t apply to him although it may very well to presidential hopefuls in the future. By “natural born”, the founding fathers meant to exclude births through unnatural means like in vitro fertilization and even C-sections.
Add that to the fact that Paul McCartney died in 1969 …
My favourite is probably Walmart is about impose martial law
No man not of woman born may be president?
Actually, they were agents of the British monarchy which practices ritual royal sacrifice to get rid of rogue members of the family AND assure their own prosperity. So Diana was just a non-flammable “Wicker Man” offering.
Gotcha! We have it on authority that Obama was from his mother’s womb untimely ripp’d*. You should know better than to listen to a trio of conspiracy theorists dancing naked in the woods around a bubbling cauldron.
(*As an aside, that mother happened to be a jackal, but that’s neither here nor there.)
I have always been fond of the creation story of the Nation of Islam.
Louis Farrakhan, of “Obama is the voice of the Messiah” fame, claims to have been beamed up to the Mother Ship, and Ferdie Pacheco, the Fight Doctor, tells of the times Muhammed Ali used to point out the Mother Ship at night.
Regards,
Shodan
What’s that big flat bit between France and Holland then?!:eek:
One from several years back involved George H. W. Bush after he became president. The original Bush had died sometime back, so the person we would see was actually a clone. The clones had a short life span, about a week or so so they kept a large reserve of clones ready to step in.
You could tell he was a clone because the appearance Bush would change subtly. Sometimes his skin would look more pale than usual or the freckles on his face would be more or less prominent.
Oddly, I haven’t heard anything about the Bush Clones since he went back to civilian life.
I believe this all involved the New World Order somehow, but I forget the details.
Sounds like an episode of Batman: The Animated Series.
Poison Ivy had “retired” and was living the perfect life. Only her child and husband were frauds. They were plant hybrid clones that lived 3 days, if I recall properly. The first day they appeared as a small child. The next they appeared as a grown man. The third day they were monsters, then they died.
The other option is the Venture Bros. Option. GHW was actually killed several times during his term in office due to stupid accidents and misfortune, but they kept an entire lab full of GHW clones in the basement and programmed as needed. 
There’s a lot of meaty conspiracies attributed to Allen Dulles, first director of the CIA.
His Operation Paperclip project, ostensibly a rescue mission for Germans during WWII, was actually a way of smuggling out Nazi scientists and learning their secret ways.
The Russians thought he created a Fifth column to destroy their morality and virtues from within. He was their Red Scare.
Kennedy intended to dissolve the CIA after the Bay of Pigs fiasco, but he never got the chance as he got assassinated. Dulles participated in the Warren Commission, which concluded that Oswald acted alone, therefore clearing any CIA involvement in Kennedy’s death. Dulles saved his baby.